Category Archives: Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Silence

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The absence of sound can create a void.  In particular, when associated with a situation where you are interacting with others maintaining silence can be a daunting task.

Taking a philosophical bent, personal silence can be a pathway to enlightenment.  It is difficult to listen when you are talking or even just thinking about what you are going to say next.

Contemplation

Deep reflective thought can occur without silence but noise can be a distraction and silent contemplation is often more effective.  This enables us to have a sharper focus on the object of our thoughts.

When interacting with others, first listening, then contemplating in silence before reacting is far more likely to result in well thought out responses which are more likely to have a positive influence.

Beauty in the Quiet

Although it is natural and human nature to want to express ourselves and share our thoughts with others this is not always the best way to get our point across (or even ever the best way).

It is not easy to be silent and wait for the best moment.  Sometimes there is a fear the opportunity might never come and our thoughts come bursting out.

Unfortunately, this can lead to emotional outbursts and poorly founded logic.   There is nothing wrong with quiet moments.  In fact, they are most often more beneficial than nought.

Fill the Void

There is no need to break the silence.  Be comfortable in the quiet moment even in the presence of others.  If they can be silent until there is something worth sharing, why can’t you.

Everyone benefits.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Who, What When

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Through experience I have come to believe accomplishing a goal requires three things, at a minimum.  Of course you need to be clear on what the intended outcome is be you start.

The three simple things are:

  • What do we need to do in order to attain the objective?
  • Who is involved in executing the “what”?
  • When will it be done?

Anticipating Failure

Whether a very simple or complex task unless what, who and when is clearly defined I am never surprised by failure.  Failure is more likely than success when clarity of purpose, approach and accountability is not present.

That is not to say you cannot stumble upon success miraculously (often called luck) but even with luck, intent is usually present which implies some level awareness of the objective being sought.

While being very clear about the steps to achievement, how they are executed, by whom and when does not guarantee success it does increases the likelihood.

Guaranteed Results

Understanding how to achieve the results you seek  is certainly a best practice it does not mean you are guaranteed to reach your goal.

If that were the case, this practice would be universally employed.  We simply decide, I want that, here is how I can get it, with these peoples help and this is when I want it.

If this approach was always assured of success everyone would, after all if what I want is guaranteed just by making the attempt, what barrier to trying?

Sadly it is not that simple and good planning and preparation do not equate to absolute achievement (the possibility of failure is omnipresent).  Still good process is more likely to lead to success so well worth undertaking.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Relationship Context

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How we interact with each other can be heavily influenced by the context of our relationship.  Two obvious examples of this would be relationships defined either as a colleague or as a client/customer.

Where both parties view the other as a colleague the relationship is usually not-adversarial largely defined by polite behavior.  If both view it as a client/customer relationship it evolves more as demand/subservient behavior depending on which role you are in.

Mis-aligned Context

The really interesting stuff can arise when each party views the context differently.  This can lead to anxiety, frustration, disagreement, and dissatisfaction.

Consider the case where one “colleague” considers themselves the boss (not a colleague).   Interactions have a disconnect from the beginning as one colleague believes they have granted power over the actions of the other (unfortunately this is only one way).

The perceived context of each participant leads to different behavioral expectations.  Interactions could very quickly become adversarial as each party’s expectations don’t match.

Service Expectations

In many many societal groups, organizations one internal unit provides service to another.  Everyone is part of the organization and in these cases do not have direct reporting alignment.

Are the receiving unit members clients or customers of the servicing unit or is everyone a colleague?  Or is this even defined but rather just shakes out organically?

Where one person views another as a colleague rather than a customer or client the interactions can quickly fall apart due to widely differing expectations.

The appropriate behaviors for provider/client interactions are quite different from colleague to colleague.  Without being clear upfront as the context of the relationship you can get into hot water very quickly.

The Simple Solution

Before interacting with others, share your relationship perspective and ask for theirs. Even if there is not agreement at least you will know that and can adjust behaviours accordingly.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Seeking Concensus

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Leveraging the skills and abilities of others in conjunction with your own can be frustrating.  Independence and belief in our own abilities and self-worth lead us to challenge the value of collaboration.

That is to say, while the quality and effectiveness of our achievements are greatly enhanced by acting en mass rather than independently it is not human nature to do so.

Interacting with Others

Going it alone can be very satisfying.  Individual accomplishments make us feel good.  Group accomplishments are still worth applauding and can be very satisfying but we are just a cog in the wheel.

A very challenging aspect of working with others is the need to attain a consensus.  This is a general agreement among all parties.  Making a unilateral decision and forcing it on others is so much easier.

Therein Lies the Rub

Leaders with granted power can abuse this privilege by taking the easy route.  That is rather than attaining consensus, which means the best ideas and knowledge all participants gets leveraged, they just override and push forward with their decision.

The disadvantage of this approach is simply that is has a lower likelihood of arriving at the best approach.  Intuitively the larger the information base, the combining of multiple processing power and the diversity of thought will provide better results than a single stream,

Albeit it slower, taking the extra time and effort to consult, discuss and achieve consensus will in most cases (outside of dire emergencies) produce the best results.

Granted power should not be used recklessly.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Why Worry?

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Don’t worry you can figure it out.  This can work really well as a personal philosophy provided you don’t make it too all-encompassing.

Figuring stuff out is virtually always possible.  However, sometimes it is not expedient or efficient and quality often is diminished.  Completing a task or objective at the moment might work but might not be the best solution.

Risk Prevention

Identifying things that could go wrong and proactively working out an approach to mitigate them when they do can be more effective than figuring out how to deal with the issue when (and if) it occurs.

In both cases though, whether you plan in advance how to resolve problems or deal with them at the moment, there is nothing to worry about.

Fear and worry arise because we intuitively recognize working things out on the fly can be challenging and might not produce top quality results but we should not worry about failure, somehow we always figure it out.

Avoid Rushing

Working out how to deal with a problem or unexpected event can be a rush; both from the surge of adrenaline and the need for speed perspectives.

Being aware of things that could go wrong and preparing in advance (i.e., figuring it out) is probably the best approach to dealing with problems but is not always practical.

Worry about things in advance though does not make sense. Either plan how to address it before it occurs (in case it occurs) or be ready to deal with it at the moment.  However you choose to figure things out, in advance, in the moment or a combination of both approaches, remember, there is no need to worry.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Vision, Goals, Strategy, Tactics

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Our ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom is often referred to as vision. This can be a great starting point to define your goals and objectives.

Using what you visualize your future to be as a foundation, goals are the specific aims or desired results that make up the steps to enable you to achieve what you seek.

What Next

Once you have determined your goal/objective, that is the achievement aimed at or sought, the next steps are to determine how this will be done.

This is where strategy comes in.  Basically a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim – i.e., your ultimate goal or objective.

Strategies clarify what is to be achieved, by when and how.  This may be a multi-step process and the strategic plan does not need to be detailed but is rather more indicative in nature.

Make it Happen

After you have defined your vision, developed the goals to support is and combined everything into an overarching strategy, it is time for execution.

Use your strategy to develop tactics and associated tactical plans.  These are a series of carefully thought out actions that form the recipe for success.

The tactical plan defines activities that are focused on achievement of a specific end – the specific milestone needed to support the strategy which is just an encapsulation of the goals and objectives required to achieve the vision.

Using vision, goals setting, strategy development and tactical planning enables you to perform efficiently with a high chance of actually achieving your vision.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Your Problem

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When your leaders approach is to tell you to bring them solutions, not problems, I question their value.  Should we not expect our leaders to support us.

When someone assumes I am bringing them a problem or issue that I could solve myself it makes me wonder what I did wrong.  My personal philosophy is don’t waste time bringing your problems to others, resolve them and carry on.

When reality intrudes, and I cannot solve it myself then I go for help.  At this point when those I seek assistance from are telling me to show up with a solution, I get a bit frustrated.

Awareness

It makes sense to encourage others to be accountable.  As a leader, mentor or just a friend encouraging responsibility in others is a noble pursuit.

However, blindly assuming those you collaborate with have not thought it through can be more harmful then good.  If you are seeking to change behaviour there must be a good foundation to do so or you are likely to fail.

Taking a blanket position to encourage others to think and act for themselves, that is empower them requires more thought and effort than simply demanding they come to you with a solution.

Understanding

Before saddling someone with a problem make sure that is an appropriate step.  Get the background.  It may well turn out they have thought it through  completely and the decision to seek help is a good one.

Before discounting an approach for help check it out, maybe your assistance is really needed.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Setting Expectations

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Choosing or deciding how things should proceed will be most effective when done upfront.  (for example who has accountability ,how good or bad the level of associated quality, and so on)

On completion of a piece of work, task or service, advising all, that was not what I expected is of little value.  Expecting others to guess what we are expecting is also a bit like gambling.  They might guess and they might not.

Clarity

Providing clear notice of expected process and outcomes is frequently overlooked.  It is just assumed others magically know what you want.

Of course, for some this is a purposeful approach.  The lack of clarity is intentional because it provides wiggle room if things don’t proceed as expected or the outcomes are not what we thought they would be.

This can lead to accusatory clarity after the fact.  For example exclamations like “Why did you do it that way, you know that is not what I expected.  I am so disappointed.”

This is usually not a very effective approach, however, I have seen things proceed this way many times.

Ask

If you are undertaking a task or part of a process and the expectations have not been clearly provided to you, ask.  This is a great way to avoid the unexpected disappointments.

Sadly, sometimes even when what is you have carefully validated what is expected the outcomes might not measure up.  This does occur but can be mitigated by reference back to the clear mutual understandings.  The cause of the communication disconnect won’t fix the past but it does help with the future.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

What do others think

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I have often expressed the view that my life is all about me.  The intent of this philosophy is to highlight the reality of personal accountability.

Your life is yours and only yours, albeit it is not lived in isolation and life experiences are greatly impacted by the environment.  How you behave is your choice alone.

Feedback

Receiving information from others about their reactions to your behavior, the performance of a task, your philosophy and so on, can be used as a basis for self-improvement.

At the very minimum feedback increases your own self-awareness and so enables you to make informed decisions about actions you take.

It’s still about you

Choosing to pay attention and be guided by the feedback you receive, whether directly from others or indirectly through the things they do (their body language) does not mean you are given up accountability.

Paying attention to what others think and letting it guide the way you interact is certainly done for the other person to some extent.  The critical factor though is how you behave toward others is who you are.

Who you are is very much influencing how you feel about yourself.   If your feedback is negative you feel bad.  This is about you, even though initiated by others it is you who feel bad.

So, paying attention to what others think about you enables you to treat them in ways that make you feel good.  On the surface it seems to be about them but in reality it still is all about you.

Doing it for someone else can really be doing it for yourself.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Missing Pieces

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Sometimes we do not have all the information needed to determine the best course of action.  After all, this is about things we don’t know, which can include things we don’t even know we don’t know.

These missing pieces are not always important but sometimes they are critical in such a way that it is impossible to do the right thing or succeed without considering them.

Is Something Missing

Looking for missing information begins with assessing the completeness and accuracy of what you know.  Putting together the known facts can lead to questions.

This concept is the foundation of a good mystery novel.  As the author unfolds the story facts are withheld but the information provided is enough for the hero of the story to determine that something is missing .

One of the pleasures for the reader is to match wits against the story detective and figure it out as well, before the author discloses all.

Looking for the Missing Piece

Knowing something is missing helps the search for it.  If you are convinced things don’t add up and a reasonable conclusion cannot be achieved without more info you are more likely to be motivated to search hard.

Believing something unknown exists drives us to search until we find it.  Giving up is frustrating and rare.  When we believe there is an answer most of us will hang in their until we find it or at least believe we have found it.

Watch out for the red herring.

Be Wary

When making an assessment, before concluding give careful consideration as to wether you have the complete picture.  It can save you from grief and missteps.