Monthly Archives: June 2019

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Listening to Others

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Meyer’s Briggs theory of personality types is founded on the baseline level of your tendency toward introversion or extroversion, and all points between.

If you are an introvert the biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people.  For extroverts, the opposite is true.  Socializing often involves two-way communication and for many introverts, these exchanges are full of action requests or complaints.

What Risk

Extroverts want to get involved and thoroughly enjoy the exchanges.  Listening is the doorway for them to interact and they welcome it.

For introverts,  listening represents a risk of creating the need for an outward interaction.  Being inward focused, based on their own mood and feelings, actively reacting to others is a chore.

This is not intended to impinge on others needs or their right to pontificate, it simply means the introvert does not desire to be part of it.

Playing Nice

Being culturally compliant while interacting with others requires effort.  Introverts, by their very nature, typically expend more energy on interpersonal interactions than extroverts.

Playing nice is hard for the introvert.  They strongly feel the need to conform to social norms but prefer introspection and so find it a lot of work to “be on”.

On the other hand, extroverts do not feel an overt concern for correct behavior and like the hyperactive child you sometimes wonder “Where is the off switch?”

Diversity

Fortunately, the diversity created by divergent personality traits – for example, introversion and extroversion are beneficial to everyone.

It is the diversity of personal behavior that makes it interesting for all.  Sameness leads to boredom, neither introverts nor extroverts are better and both add great value to the human continuum.

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Initiative Planning

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Whether arranging a wedding , a party, moving to a new home or dozen of other similar activities we all participate in from time to time, planning is key.

Your initiative will usually have better results better if you think of all the things that need to be done and then work out the best ways to do them, including timing and interdependencies.

When planning an initiative or project it is usually best to have a single plan.  Not surprisingly, different stakeholders often have alternate approaches.

Communicate & Coordinate

Having a single plan that everyone is aware of does not have to be locked in stone.  The plan is the foundation for managing change.  Change is both an intricate and critical part of any project.

Plans are not meant to be once and done, rather they are for coordination.  Efficiency does not occur magically, you need to plan for it.

Multiple plans cause chaos.  When participants are working on executing the activities to make the objective become reality it is confusing to say the least to find different people are following separate approaches.

Multiple plans can lead to disaster, everything can pop off the rails and crash before you know it.  By the time the multiple cooks realize something is amiss, it is often too late to fix.

A Single Approach

A single project plan, recognized by all can be the foundation for discussion and sharing.  This does not mean all voices should not be heard, creating the plan is a collaborative exercise at it’s best.

Having only a single unique plan is the best way to reducing the risk of failure.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Future Reflections of the Past

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We cannot change the past through present or future actions.   However, we can, and should, let our present and future actions be influenced by the past.

We might have regrets about past events or we could be overjoyed at the outcomes.  Whichever perspective is held, whatever occurred in the past cannot be changed, although we could change how we feel about it.

Righting Past Wrongs

When past actions resulting in things we did not want and wish never happened, sometimes we have an inclination to fix it.  This can not be done by changing the past.

We change our current or future behavior or actions to address what occurred.    Unfortunately, it is not possible to change the past and while present actions can mitigate painful and negative impacts, they cannot change what occurred.

Guided by the Past

The greatest value in things that have happened is the experience they create and the lessons it teaches us.  Being mindful of the past can guide our present and future activities in very positive ways.

We cannot alter what happened but we definitely can change what will happen.   While there can be a natural human tendency to try and resolve past events (ie., fix them) greater value is undoubtedly achieved by leveraging the past to make a better future.

Move On

Ignoring the past often means passing up an opportunity to get better but focusing on the past can fester like a sore and cause more pain than benefit.

Use past events and occurrences to your advantage but don’t get hung up on them to the point of despair.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Moving On

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Adversity stems from the adjective adverse. When things occur that upset you,  either potentially or actually, leading to a  harmful and unfavorable impact.

The difficulties or misfortune you experience are typically not planned (who plans for adversity to occur) and usually are things that were either accidents (e.g. car accident) or events out of your control (e.g., an injury to a loved one).

Remain Calm

During the second world war as part of preparations for a potential invasion, the English government began preparations for a media campaign focused on maintaining the morale of the populous.

The famous slogan, which has been widely transformed into a variety of current popular inspirational messages, was “Keep calm and carry on”

The simple point was anxiety, panic, and despair or even deep sadness have little effect in times of adversity.  By focusing on the mundane and the normal, it is possible to adapt to the adverse circumstances.

Carry On

The remain calm portion of the slogan does not refer to ignoring or pretending the difficult circumstances do not exist.  Rather the intent of the slogan is to encourage focusing on the things you can control (i.e., carry on)

These ongoing actions could well include proactive measures to resolve the adverse situation or just personal protective measure to minimize personal harm.

The key is not to react in a way that does more damage than repair.  The grieve you feel should not be hidden away to eat at your insides and ultimately paralyze you but it should be acknowledged.

Figure out how to deal with the adverse conditions in the best way possible, recognize perseverance is of great value and believe that ultimately the misfortune will be overcome.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Love Yourself

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Some people show an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves and their physical appearance.  When this is the focus of their lives it can be deemed a sociopathic personality disorder.

Narcissistic behavior can vary from mild to excessive.  Like many things too much is not good but a little love for yourself, when measured and balanced is beneficial, in fact, healthy for you.

Being Comfortable in Your Skin

Confidence is a positive behavior, we are encouraged to exhibit.  When it begins to bridge on arrogance it is viewed as a bad and the further extreme of narcissism can be considered a personality disorder.

Maintaining balance in our behavior is key to creating positive perceptions of ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with being very happy with how you are (in fact it is a good thing).

One path to a happy and long life is being contented with who you are.  However,  taken to an extreme, loving yourself to the extent of all else is not good for you or others.

It’s About You – Sort of

The most important thing in your life is how you feel.  That is not to say it is “about you”  exclusively but rather about your joy and happiness.  Interacting with others and how they interact with you is a key part of this.

Intuitively paying attention to social norms is important so while being confident and strongly believe in yourself, pushing these traits to the point of narcissism is harmful not only to others but to you as well.

The backlash toward narcissistic behavior might not get through your shell but it will limit your ability to move forward and truly enjoy all life has to offer.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Metrics versus Emotions

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Decision analysis and review is the process that is followed, whether well or ill defined, when options exist and a choice must be made. That is, a decision of some sort is required.

Typically, pertinent factors are considered, weighed in contrast to each other and the overall objective.  The outcome is usually chosen because it best supports the desired results. 

Level of Rigor

The amount of effort put into the decision process can vary depending on the magnitude of the impact and the urgency.  Ultimately though the chances of positive outcomes rises with the level of rigor applied. 

The methodology for interpreting the decision influencing factors can cover the spectrum from clearly defined measurable attributes (e.g., it is 10 inches long) to subject intangible factors, important but less quantifiable. 

The subjective factors can be influenced by emotions.  Basically, the criteria applied is based on the questions “How do I feel about this?”  This is a basic human behaviour, that is emotions overriding logic. 

How do I feel/ What do I think?

The quality of a decision is very much dependent on the balance between how you feel about something and the tangible measures – reality.  Once the tangible versus the intangible are tallied, there is still the ultimate decision process itself which often favors the emotional. 

For the best decisions, regardless of impact and time constraints attempting to place a lower priority on the emotional aspects, at least initially, allows for the reasoned solution to appear first, the emotional filters can then be applied – they are relevant and important.  

This approach will ensure the decision was arrived at with a conscious understanding of how much was measured and how much was emoted. 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Tool Dependency

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Many things we take for granted are just tools to improve our lives.  These run the gamut from refrigerators to calculators.  Often these tools require materials like gas and electricity to work.

Over time many of these things from traffic lights to stoves become critical necessities.  Without them, problems ensue (e.g., massive traffic jams to hunger from lack of uncooked food).

Helpless

On the rare occasions when these critical support tools are not available, it can leave us feeling helpless.  We do not know what to do or how to proceed.

Earlier today Google calendar went offline worldwide.  This software used for managing both personal and corporate meeting management, on a multitude of devices from desktop to mobile phone,  was offline

A quick check of the internet is all that was needed to see the panic that ensued.  Without access to our daily schedules, purpose, attendance, and location of meetings and to do items, everything falls apart.

What did we do before Google calendar? How can can we meet or manage our to do lists without it.  A mornings productivity lost.  Haven’t you guys heard about auto-failover.

Dependent

My greatest fear is we will reach the point of no return.  That is loss of electrical or gas power and mis functioning software will become more than an inconvenience.

The higher our level of dependence on these support tools, the greater the potential for us to whither and die without them.  The entire premise of our lives is based on the availability of these critical tools.

Have we reached the point of unsupportable dependency?  Is the end near?

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Turn Darkness into Light

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One definition of darkness is wickedness or evil.  In this case, turning darkness into the light means much more than just turning on a flashlight to remedy the absence of light (or some other means of illumination).

One approach to overcoming wickedness or evil is to expose it.  When all can clearly see the intent and impacts of dark behavior there is a chance to counter it.

Shining the Light

Injustice, flaunting societal norms, seeking not only to achieve pleasure for yourself but without regard to the impact on others is considered amoral.  Proactively acting in a way others may ultimately find unpleasant is just wicked.

Evil behavior is not always readily apparent, often not until it is too late.  Unscrupulous practices are often hidden from view (kept in the darkness) and the damage has long occurred by the time the evil is identified.

Fear

Fear can be a motivating factor for inaction.  We see and hear the evil but are too afraid to speak of it.  Shining a light, that exposes wickedness to scrutiny can sometimes backfire on us.

You can become a target of the evil-doer.   Their personal and earned power can make it difficult to challenge and although you feel the moral imperative, the negative consequences may be too great and you remain silent.

For the Greater Good

Tolerating evil practices may be okay for you personally.  Your awareness can enable you to dodge the bullet.  What about the potential suffering of others.

Consider the greater good.  Take action, join together to defeat the evil.  It is for everyone.

 

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Obstacles

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It sounds simplistic and a little bit trite but I am firm believer obstacles are of your own making. When something blocks your way it does not necessarily need to prevent or hinders progress.

That is, no obstacle is insurmountable, there is always a way to proceed. You need to believe an obstacle is blocking you for it to prevent progress.

Believe

I attended a seminar many years ago that focused on the power of belief.  The main tenant of the course was the belief of your capabilities was key to achievement.

Of course, believing is not an absolute certainty of achievement and reality can intrude, however, I strongly believe, and have observed over many years, overcoming an obstacle always begins with believing it can be overcome.

Knowing you can be successful overcoming any obstacle results in the elimination of obstacles.  If they exist it is because you allowed them to exist.

Changing Perspective

Sometimes the best way to overcome a perceived blockage is to view it from a different perspective.  Often what you perceive as immovable might only appear that way.

Accepting the need to modify an approach or accept an unwelcome fact is all part of breaking down barriers.  The question becomes “ Is there a way to achieve my goal in a way that is perfectly acceptable to me, even though it does not conform with my original plan”?

My personal observation is the answer to this question is always empathically yes.

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Understanding

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When used as an adjective the term understanding refers to the ability or practice of being sympathetically aware of other people’s feelings and using that sympathy to be tolerant and forgiving.

As a noun, the word is broadly about comprehension.  Being understanding of others does require comprehension of their situation so the adjective usage is consistent.

Empathy and Understanding

The practice of understanding is key to being empathetic.  To share how others are feeling and be sympathetic to it, we need to be able to have an understanding of what they are feeling.

Using empathy is key to being able to engage and interact with other people in the most effective way.  The key to practicing empathy is not to lose sight of the fact that while it is all about you, being understanding of others actually helps you.

For most of us, living as a hermit is not enjoyable.  We need to enjoy interacting with others and being empathetic will help you to do that.

So treating others with understanding is required even for self centred people.    It might be all about you but without positive interactions others you probably won’t be happy.

Not Charity

What I am suggesting is basic respect for others. This is not being charitable by assisting those in need or acting favourably toward them.

Understanding others is a bi-directional practice.  Your understanding coupled with their understanding leads to healthy and happy relationships.  These are enjoyable and after all is that not what we seek.