Monthly Archives: October 2018

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Is it real?

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Halloween reminds me that things are not always as they seem.  This is a tenet of magicians, a key practice on April fools day and of course a halloween concept.

Dressing up as something you are not is a fantasy, it is not real.  A lot of people find it fun and enjoy the practice.  For me it has always been a bit of a chore.

It’s the Spirit

Unlike the common Halloween practices, i.e., wearing a costume, going door to door for treats or attending parties to display your proficiency at disguise, what I like about Halloween is the festive spirit.

Even if the concept of focusing on  scary, spooky and frightening activities does not appeal to me, the idea of celebrating some exaggerated aspect of life as a societal group has merit.

Holidays are intended to be a chance to behave outside of the norm, although still within the limits of legal and repectful behaviour.

It is this opportunity for innovation, surprise and fleeting change that make the practice fun.  

Taken logically, dressing  as something you are not, playing with exploding toys (firecrackers) and giving gifts (usually candy) to strangers are outside regular behaviour.

The holiday lets us (as a group) accept, embrace and enjoy these unusual practices, largely because we know, it is just for the moment.  

And then, back to the safe and mundane.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Impact and Influence

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We can exert an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something to cause a change.  The results of our influential behavior can have a strong effect on outcomes (i.e., a real impact).

Impact and influence are two of the most powerful tools in the leaders kitbag.  These terms become more powerful when described in the context of invisible influence leading to beneficial impact.

Success through Others

Successful leaders are determined by their accomplishments.  In some cases these are personal accomplishments but most often they are result of group and team efforts.

The leader is recognized as the catalyst but without the dedication and skill of a variety of other stakeholders, failure is likely on the horizon.

Leveraging the ability of others to effectively create an impact, using indirect guidance, is the art of influence.  A key to success is the invisibiity of the influence behavious.

Put another way, influencing other people to achieve great positive inpact without anyone recognizing what you are doing. 

Recognition 

The positive achievements lead to recogniton of those that actively did the work.  Without a strong and effective leader it is unlikely such outcomes would be achieved.

However, the leader is the background influencer whose satifaction lies not with receiving personal recognition for their part in the achievements.

That is to say, direct recognition is not needed, strong leaders know self gratification is enough.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

It Ain’t Easy

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I recently moved to a resale market home and we sold the house we were living in.  I don’t say we bought a new home because our purchase was of a house build in 2002 so 15 years old.

With this type of older home it is expected some handy-man work will be needed.  The magnitude of effort required will depend of course on  how well the home was maintained by the previous owners.

Easy Fixes

Over the years as a homeowner (this is our fifth home) I have always endeavored to fix the easy stuff myself, hiring skilled professionals for the most difficult items.

Our previous home was a new build and when we sold it, the home was only 10 years old so the need for me to exercise my handy-man skills was not large.  For this newly purchased home it was time for me to get back in the saddle.

In the first month and a half since we moved in I have re-discovered the pleasure of Murphy’s law as it relates to minor home repairs.  Having little experience with repairs during the last ten years I had forgotten, often the easy stuff, well in fact, often, “It ain’t easy”.

Things can and will go wrong

Simple things from changing a light bulb (it’s an odd bulb no longer manufactured) or the screw that won’t come out (because it is stripped) or the “snap it in” replacement smoke detector that doesn’t (the electrical connection has changed to frustrate us) or the plumbing fixture with the lost hex set screw  (now longer manufactured.)

How about the leaky faucet where the old valve is stuck (due to corrosion over time) or the natural gas barbecue fitting that was stolen (need to buy and install a new one).  And the list goes on. 

And the point, it is worthwhile and self fulfilling tackling these easy tasks, I do say leave the heavy lifting to the pro’s, but just remember often the easy stuff, just ain’t.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Attraction

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For the majority of males and females there is a specific physical look that makes the opposite sex attractive.  

This look is often leveraged in fields like marketing (models) entertainment (actors) and similar activities.  The point is to use physical attraction to get our attention.

Instinctive

Although there is a clear personal aspect to what attracts each individual there are some common body characteristics (e,g.,shape and weight) for which the majority of people have an unconcious favourable bias.

That is to say certain body types have a universal attraction while others do not.  This perception is typically not taught or experienced but rather part of human nature (i.e., genetic)

We have a natural instinct for what basic physical appearance we find attractive in other people.  Of course, this is superficial and can be quickly overriden as you go beyond just outward appearance.

It is this inate instinctual bias of body types we must overcome to prevent insulting or disaffecting others.  Albeit our natural behaviour is to admire and covet percieved beauty.

Body Shaming

Currently, around the world there is an active cultural shift toward overriding our genetic coded behaviours and to recognize the superficiality of physical attractiveness.

That being said, cleary the body beautiful still has a place in our societies that is unlikely to be completely eliminated.  

Use of attractive people to send messages, support causes and sell stuff is part of every culture world wide.

 Many societies are seeking a balance and promote things like body shaming as a bad thing, but admiring the body beautiful is still a real strong and persistant behaviour..

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Leaving the Past Behind

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Don’t let yesterday impact your enjoyment of today.  When we carry historical baggage we can miss or overlook present moments of pleasure. 

Things like anger, frustration, worry or fear from past events can affect how we percieve and behave in the present.  Unresolved issues can override good things that are happening right now.

Let it go

The hit song “ Let it Go” from the movie frozen was probably very popular in part because so many of us identify with the sentiment.  Unfortunately recognizing the value of letting it go and doing it are very different actions.

I know I should not carry baggage and let it impact my today’s, whats the point.  Yet the knowledge that it is not helpful often cannot override the powerful human instinct for closure.

Think it Through

One technique to help you let it go involves the application of logic.  Think about the impacts of holding on.  Is there a benefit to be had.  If you can take action and resolve your issue, do it.  That is beneficial.

If you don’t see a realistic possibility of a satisfactory resolution, accept the fact that bad stuff happens (shit happens as they said in the sixties) and let it go.

The negative impacts of holding on far outweigh any benefits.  Your emotional baggage can suck you up in a vortex and tear you apart.  Just let it go.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Judging Behaviour

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All our interactions with other people entail some interpretation of their behaviour.  In real time we decide what their actions mean and how we feel about it.

Overtime we categorize people we regularly interract with by type.  While a persons behaviour may vary by context out perception of their personality (go to behaviours) colors all our interractions with them.

Viewed by Extremes

In reality most  people balance their behaviors across a spectrum from one extreme to the other.  For example, moderating from flexible to stubborn so overall taking the middle ground..

Our classifications typically focus on one end of the spectrum or the other.   That is,  a person mght naturally fluctuate from one extreme to the other (e.g., flexible to stubborn).

We tend to classify them based on one end of the spectrum or the other.  Our perception is usually set as a result of a few limited interactions.

Misconceptions

Unfortunately our subjective behavioural classification boxes those we deal with by type (e.g., agressive, unreasonable, meek, childish, etc).

Whilemost people practice a number of behavioural variations across a spectrum of options we often leap to conclusions based on our pre-conceptions of the behavioural extreme.

Unfortunately this can negatively affect the effectiveness of our interpersonal communications.

Judging and categorizing others can be helpful to us in streamlining the communication process, but it can also create a risk of misunderstandings.

When we do not listen fully or think through what we hear and see there is a real danger of poor and ineffective outcomes. 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Seeking Direction?

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Life encompasses growth, ongoing activity, and continual change preceding death.  From birth to death each of us is on a conceptual journey where our experiences lead to new understandings. 

Our journey can be passive (go with the flow), active (control the outcomes) or a combination of approaches.

 Whether  you choose to control or influence your outcomes, or let someone else do it,  a key factor is what direction are you headed.

Finding Your Way

Your direction is dependant on where you are headed, that is what is the objective or goal?  Sometimes you my have an idea but need some help.

In these cases we often look to our leaders to provide some ideas or indications, even suggestions of our destination.  Ultimately we choose but our leaders can help us make that choice.

Of course in some cases the leaders directions are firm and prescriptive and we just need to go along for the ride.  The more motivating approach occurs when leaders encourge and advise but leave the choice to us.

Passive/Aggressive

When the leaders pronounced direction is not to your liking you may choose to appear to accept the direction (passive reaction) but through your actions do everything to acually go a different direction (aggressive).

Ultimately the path you travel and the destination you reach  are most pleasant when it’s where you want to go.  

This applies regardless of whether you devised your own direction or it was provided by a leader or even just through circumstance.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Acting too Quickly

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Sometime our reaction to dissatisfying events or others negative actions or perceived attacks can be strong and heavily laden with emotion.  In these cases acting precipitously can lead to undesirable results.

Initial reactions are valid and can be useful in the moment but whenever possible a pause to reflect before taking action is a prudent risk management approach.

What Risk?

If your position is iron clad and your reaction appropriate the risk of adverse impacts is lowered;  However, the reality is our subjective assessment usually comes first and objective analysis requires a little more time and consideration.

Just in case your emotions are driving a subjective perspective of the event or other persons behavior, taking a moment  (even hours or days depending on the complexity) to make sure your response will lead to the outcome you seek is well worth the effort. 

This is really just basic risk management.  That is, there is a very real risk whatever you do (from nothing to a furious proclamation) will exacerbate and escalate the problem.

Suck it up

Some times you have unquestionably been wronged.  In these cases forcefully and clearly stating your position and expectations can be a valid approach.

Unfortunately, the other party or stakeholders might not hold the same perspective and your forthrightness could prolong the path to an acceptable solution (acceptable to you) or even deter it entirely.

It may not be as emotionally satisfying but in some cases it just makes sense to suck up your self righteousness plan an approach that is more likely to achieve what you seek, even if it offends your sensibilities a bit. 

After all what is more important a brief moment of emotional satisfaction of attaining your objective.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Accepting the Future

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In his book Homo Deus, Israeli history professor  Yuval Harari explores the future in the context of the past.  His ideas prompted some interesting thoughts.

This post builds on some of the ideas in the book however, it is neither a summary or a review of the book, if you are interested you will need to read it if you have not already.

History as a Train

Consider historical human progress as a freight train moving ahead with increasing speed.  Occassionally progress is derailed but over the long term it steams ahead.

As a passenger on the train you can get off (this can be an orderly departure or a more forced one) or you can stay on for the ride accept and adapt to the changing environment as human kinds train forges ahead.

Going Faster

Intuitively, as humans capabilities progress, past advances feed future ones and the speed of progress is exponential rather than linear. 

That is, the pace and magnitude of change is probably measured in days and months versus the centuries, decades and years progress required in the past eons.

This increasing pace makes it harder to get off the train without consequence (although many still do) and it make it harder for those that stay on the train to adapt.

Artificial Intelligence

The near future holds major changes for all of us as artificial intelligence is leveraged to enhance human capabilities.

Human endeavors will change drastically as more autimation is employed and those of us staying on the train will be part of significant change.

The rest will be left behind.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Understanding

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When we percieve or interpret a communication, event or object in the way it was intended, we are said to have understood.

The definition of understanding is fairly straight forward.  Philosophically the concept is a little more complex.  For example, what makes your percieved understanding correct, assuming it is different from mine?

Absolute Meaning

Does every communication or observed object have a singular and absolute meaning? Ergo, is their a correct intepretation or perception and incorrect one?

One way to answer this question is from the perspective of consequences.  Our interpretation may result in unexpected consequences from those we had logically and intuitively derived from our understanding.

For example, say a shop owner tells you to go ahead and take some merchandise.  You do so without paying and are arrested for stealing as you leave the store.

Despite your protests at this unexpected, and from your view incorrect, consequence, it is clarified you misunderstood.  

The merchant intended for you to understand the merchandise was yours for the taking if you compensated him (paid for it).  

Depending on the details of the communication arguments could be made for both perspectives and each parties understanding possibly has some validity.

Validation

While it is not always effective, the above exaggerated example highlights the value of validating your understanding.  

This can be through questions or actions but can avoid cases where misunderstandings lead to unexpected and perhaps unpleasant consequences.