Monthly Archives: April 2019

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Behave Accordingly

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As I have noted in many past posts how  you and others view you is determined by your behaviour.  How your behaviour is interpreted varies based on perspective.

Basically though , you are to everyone, including yourself, composed of what you do.  Common and repeated go to behaviours form the essence of your personality.

Managing your Behaviour

You always have the opportunity to act in a way that is appropriate to the particular circumstances. Unfortunately it is not always crystal clear what constitutes appropriate, and even when it is that behaviour might not resonate with you.

The consequences of your behaviour might not be apparent until part way through what you have undertaken to do.

This makes it wise to constantly be aware of the results of your actions so you can modify them accordingly is search of better results, if desired.

For Example

If you are seeking to build trust, but show up late for meeting, frequently, this typically is not a good way to build trust, you might want change your behaviour accordingly.

The change you make could be to start repeatedly showing up early for meeting to offset the previous perception and rebuild peoples confidence you can meet their expectations.

Focus on your Goal

Your personal goal is often the circumstance to focus on when determining the appropriate behaviour.  This might mean your go to or personality based behaviours need to be overridden.

Any behaviour is possible, with concious thoughts and a little effort.  Acting accordingly, focused on your objective, e.g., building trust, requires you pick the best actions not  always those you might be most comfortable with.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

We can do it

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Believing a future outcome will be successful should be based on reasoned analysis.  Hoping for good results is optimistic but might not be practical.

Optimism can raise your and others spirts.  It can be used to motivate yourself and others. The danger occurs when optimism creates a false belief resulting in lack of preventative or mitigating actions.

Beware of False Assessments

Hoping for the best and proclaiming everything will be okay makes us feel good.  We place our trust in the proclaimer and allow our fears to be assuaged.

This is fine if everything does work out.  We are saved the anxiety associated with a false worry or even panic which could lead to inappropriate response.

The downside is, by not preparing for negative impacts, because our false hope has led us to believe everything will be alright, by the time we realize mitigating action is needed, it could be too-late.

Be prepared

Although it takes effort,  preparing for bad outcomes (although potentially a wasted effort) is a better way to eliminate fear and worry.

This principle can be stated as: “Consider what can go wrong, don’t assume all will be fine”  This proactive approach creates a framework for resolution founded on logic not luck.

Disasters are for the Unprepared

Being ready to address issues, knowing anything can and will occur is not an absolute safeguard against disaster but it is a far better approach than hoping nothing bad will ever occur.

This is a proven methodology, which when put in practice, as it has been by multiple organizations over decades, clearly works.  So why hope for the best, plan for it!

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Information and Power

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Our culture supports the concept that information can be used to influence and manipulate.  The more secret information you know the greater your stature.

It is possible to influence others behaviors by letting them know you have the information they don’t.   Knowing things others don’t (and making sure they know that) can enhance your power over them.

A Serious Business

Our society values secrets to the extent that sharing them can lead to deadly consequences.  Consider the common joke, “I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you”.

Apparently, information sharing is a serious business.  Sharing information without permission or receiving the info you are not supposed to have can be deadly.

As I noted though, there is a real cultural aspect to secret information.  Our culture values parceling and containment of data.  We believe there is a need for secret information, so it exists.

We believe controlling access to information is important, the information in the wrong hands can be dangerous.   Trust, sharing, openness is valued but only under certain circumstances.

Unsubstantiated

My own personal experience has been the power to influence and impact is far greater through the practice of clear, frank and open sharing.

While I see many who believe having secrets gives them power and enhances there ability to lead others, it has been my experience this produces neither quality or sustainable outcomes.

Building your power base by keeping others in the dark and feeding them shit could work if people were mushrooms.

This approach can make you feel like a commanding presence and it probably does work that way to some extent, however, sharing (both ways) is almost always the better way.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Personal Engagement

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Life is a series of ongoing interactions (or engagements).   How well you live towards, through, and within your every waking moment is the underlying measure of your personal engagement

Being engaged is your personal accountability and while others have an influence and impact on your level of engagement, whether at work or leisure, ultimately how satisfied you are with your circumstances is up to you.

Enjoying What you are Doing

The core measure of engagement is enjoying what you are doing.  If you are invested in doing something, (from golf to taxes) you do it better.

This is not to imply you like what you are doing (one interpretation of enjoying) but rather that you both feel you are responsible for and benefit from the tasks.

Being engaged in a thing is mainly a sign of acknowledgement of value.  The undertaking is meaningful to you and the return is greater than the effort expended (i.e., of value).

Two Way Street

In social and group context, leaders or managers can play a key role in encouraging personal engagement.  Each of us also is accountable to seek engagement even if the leader is not promoting it.

A sad situation I have observed on occasion is when the group or team members clearly seek to be engaged but are blocked by the leader.

For reasons I never fully understand but probably related to some strong desire by the leader to be at the centre of everything team members are treated only as tools of the leaders will.

This approach is very effective at shutting down personal engagement and often leads to people leaving the group.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Catching Up

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Sometimes we need to do work or other tasks that should have already been addressed.  That is things that should have been completed earlier than now.

When this happens the descriptive term we apply to ourselves is “falling behind”.   In these situations, do not despair the light can always shine on, figuratively speaking.

You can take control. The point is, recovery is always possible.  Although, planning and work effort may be required, no need to panic.

Gaining Ground

The key to progress is recognition there is always a balance between tasks that are underway, future and completed.    Depending on the overall objective and supporting goals the balance between what is done and what is not done varies.

Most importantly, having uncompleted work is a normal state of affairs and should not be of concern.  Worry and frustration about being behind can do more harm than benefit.

Keeping track of things you want to do, understanding the priority and value equation of each enables logical analysis to be applied.  Actions fraught with emotion, fear, and anxiety can be avoided.

Impact

Falling behind in and of itself is not an issue, the impact of falling behind is the concern to focus on.  If no impact is confidently forecast, there is nothing to worry about.

The need to catch-up is driven by negative impacts.  If it’s anticipated bad things will occur unless the backlog of activities is resolved it makes sense to plan to do so.

The plan should be a reasoned effort to define what is feasible by when.   This approach allows us to understand where we are relative to progress (at any given time) and calmly adjust the plan or take actions to avoid negative outcomes.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Figuring it Out

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Not knowing the answer is to a problem or issue is a normal state of affairs.  A large portion of our lives is spent on figuring things out.  Though it does not always feel like it, figuring it out is exciting and invigorating.

Without the need to determine what and how to act, basically seeking purpose, our lives would be boring and to a large extent meaningless.   We need the challenge of not knowing.

Approaches

There are many ways to figure things out.  These range from just passively following along to proactively analyzing options and planning a course of action.

Typically there is some balance between passive and proactive actions geared toward figuring out what to do.  Detailed analysis and planning can be overkill while coasting along and hoping for the best can be very risky.

Optimism

Recognizing that figuring things out is both natural and satisfying helps to address issues or problems where we often ask “why?” or ‘why me?’.

Actually, the need to determine what to do, that is, how to best spend your time, how to create pleasure and enjoyment for yourself, is really just what living is all about.

You will be able to figure it out, we always do, although the outcomes may not be fully desirable, ultimately they will be acceptable (You just need to figure out what acceptable looks like.)

To quote the lyrics of popster Bobby McFerrin’s hit song from the 1980s, “Don’t worry, be happy”.    The key to making this mantra a reality for yourself is believing there is nothing you can’t figure out.

 

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Thinking

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How we think is key to the way we define ourselves.  Each individual has a unique way of thinking.  Thoughts drive our behavior which is core to how others perceive us.

How we think not only drives the perceptions of others but also how we perceive ourselves.  Our thoughts can bring us joy or sorrow depending on how we process and interpret them.

Our type of thinking typically falls into one of two major groups; emotional feelings or logical thoughts.  These are not independent of each other and combine to create an integrated behavioral outcome.

Emotions

Your subjective feelings are something that cannot be observed but are ultimately developed in your mind.  Your body, environment and thinking processes all influence them.

These feelings are unique to us but sometimes will be relatively the same as others who are experiencing the same influencing factors.  For example, if you are on an obviously sinking ship the majority, if not everyone will experience some form of fear.

Of course, on occasion the feelings are unique to us, love is an oft-cited example of this. That is the feeling of love for someone or something else can be very personal.

Logic

Using a system or set of principles of validity we develop an assessment based on reasoning.   Logic and emotional thought patterns and processes are very different.

Emotions can be more involuntary.  Logical thinking is typically both conscious and fully within our control.

Whichever type of thinking you are practicing at any given time, it defines you.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

What do you know?

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From the day we are born our awareness of facts and information gained by experience and contextual situations grow larger (i.e, our personal knowledge).

Acquired skills through experience or education are the foundation of our theoretical or practical understanding of things.

Hidden Knowledge

Our knowledge must be within our conscious mind in order to be of use to us, however, over time we do develop a store of unconscious knowledge.

Using our unconscious knowledge in our decision-making processes can be of great value but is often overlooked because the information is not readily available.

Awareness is required to leverage what you know.  If you are not aware you know something it is not useable.  The ability to draw on our hidden knowledge can help solve problems or issues we did not realize we were capable of addressing on our own.

The Wizard of Oz

When Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz finds out how to return to Kansas she is advised she had the ability to get home all along, it was, in fact, unconscious knowledge, she had it but was not aware.

This is a common theme throughout the story. The lion wants courage but already has it, the scarecrow brains but he is smart and so on.  A simple message, don’t ignore what you have already.

Although just a children’s tale it was crafted to impart wisdom to the young (a common practice in children’s stories) albeit the point can often be lost on adults.

Caution

Believing your unconscious knowledge to be the source could also be a delusion so some validation through questioning or other confirmation steps is in order.

That is sometimes what you think you know and what you do know can be different.  If you do have the knowledge though, hidden away somewhere, don’t waste it.  Seek it out.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Say what you do and do what you say

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Being perceived as having a high level of integrity and thus building trust is not difficult.  Believing that you need to commit to actions and then complete those actions is the simple personal value that covers this.

Accepting responsibility for something requires communicating what you plan to do.  This does not mean committing to the outcome (which sometimes is out of your control) but rather committing to an activity, something fully in your control.

Passive/ Aggressive

Being agreeable or apparently accepting of a change, task or directive with no intention of undertaking the action, or even undermining it, is classic passive-aggressive behavior.

This approach could be described as “say what you do but don’t do what you say”.  This method won’t inspire trust but then it is not intended to.

To sabotage an unwanted change or objective is the goal and this technique is easier than being candid or blunt about how you feel.  It is certainly a way to avoid confrontation but does include significant reputational risk.

Not Locked In

A common concern I hear about the straightforward approach to “a promise is a promise”  it does not allow flexibility if things change and you are unable to fulfill the promise.

I beg to disagree.  The promise lays a foundation for expectation.  Ongoing discussion and communication resulting from changing circumstances are a reasonable and widely accepted way to keep expectations realistic.

Most people recognize expectations around an initial commitment can change as a result of circumstance.

Wording to this effect is often embedded in contracts and agreements where opt out of risk event clauses are inserted to ensure delivery on a promise does not become an impossible task.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Planning

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Not a new or novel thought, but if you don’t know what you are looking to accomplish, how will you know when it has been achieved?

This is one of the main reasons for planning.  In order to create a plan of actions to complete a goal, you need to know what the goal is.   In essence, a plan is simply a recipe for what by when.

Planning for the Not Yet Known

The question arises, how can I plan if the goal is not fully defined?  Our current knowledge of the goal is at a high level.  We have the concept but not the details.

Planning is feasible even if the target is only conceptual.  In these cases, the plans include analysis or investigatory steps to cover the unknown items.   The timelines might be guesses or just placeholders but will provide a valuable guide against how you are doing.

For Example

Consider a suspicious death investigation.  The goal is to find the cause of death and if applicable who did it.  At the beginning of the investigation, there are lots of unknowns.

A successful investigation follows a plan building on known activities and common sense.  There are a standard set of investigation steps that would be included, however, each death has different clues or variables so the plan needs to be updated as more information is uncovered.

Never the less, a plan is imperative for success, and even then sometimes the cause and murderer (if applicable) are still not uncovered.

The underlying success of a plan is always having an idea, whether high level or detailed, of what you are trying to accomplish.  Without knowing that, how can you plan?