Monthly Archives: July 2016

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Learning from the children

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As I think about how I have lived my live to this point, my successes and short comings,  I am satisfied.  By this measure, the way I have lived my live maps to my key personal objective – maximum pleasure.

I feel good about the way I live and it gives me pleasure.  More satisfying though, and probably not an objective perspective,  is my perception of my childrens lives.

All our children are fully mature adults and my observation of their  lives, achievements, values and goals is they have bettered me in every way.

All our children  demonstrate maturity and leadership far beyond my own, albeit that it pains me to think this way.  It is after all all about me, I struggle with being bested.

Life Reverses Itself

At some point in recent years, I am not exactly sure when, I began to gain more from observing how my own offspring behave and react, but it happened.  Emulating them  now helps me grow and makes me a better person.

The point where I was the example, the teacher, the elder has reversed.   Suddenly I am learning from them.  The student surpasses the teacher.

When I think about it, this was probably our parental goal all along.  However, while  my wife and I only laid the foundation our children themselves are soley accountable for thier achievements.

And so, unlike the iconic song by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young -“Teach your children well” what goes around comes around and now it is more like “Teach your parents well”.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Speeding Tickets

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Speed radar cameras are used in the city of Edmonton, in fact throughout the Province of Alberta.  This is a very efficient method of collecting money for goverment coffers in the form of fines.

The ticket is issued to the vehicle owner, not the driver, usually at least 2 weeks after the occurance.  Not surprisingly the camera locations are typically at the bottom of hills or zones where speed is reduced (construction, school ,etc).

My Interpretation

This very efficient method for identifying and billing speeders targeted at relatively safe locations, but good places to catch people, and is nothing more than a tax grab.  A way to raise revenue.

For me the fact it does not target the driver, nor dangerous areas are the key clues in my analysis.  Most telling though is the fact it comes weeks after the occurance at which point you just grumble, pay the tarrif and get on with life.

The Safety Argument

Dangerous driving results from throwing caution to the wind, not paying attention and believing it can never happen to me.

Being aware of your surrondings at all time, ready to take defensive manuvers and driving at a speed conmensurate with weather, road and traffic conditions constitutes save driving.

If you want to collect money efficiently, radar cameras are definitely the way to go.  If you want to make the roads safer you need to target dangerous driving practices.

Weaving in and out of traffic lanes, tailgating, not paying attention to your surroundings are the key contributors to accidents.  Even where speed was a factor, most often the ultimate cause is the drivers skill.

An interesting fact.

I have been driving for 44 years.  Of these 37 years were in jurisdictions other than Alberta.  I had one speeding ticket and one traffic accident (not related) in all that time.

Driving in Alberta for 7 years My vehicles have had 10 photo radar tickets (no accidents), remember anyone could have been driving.  Alberta’s system is not about road safety, it is just a tax.

Frankly I would rather pay Provincial sales tax for the revenue (like they do in other Provinces) and target traffic enforcement on the real dangerous drivers.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Practicing Patience

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I struggle with waiting.  To be good at waiting for something requires patience.  Behaving patiently is a skill worth mastering.  Precipitous actions have a medium to high risk of unwanted results.

Often when waiting I allow myself to contemplate all the disaster scenarios.  For example, there will be no tickets left when I get to the front of the line.

You have time while you are waiting so filling it with thoughts that make you uncomfortable, nervous or afraid is easy to do.  This is not the best use of wait ime and can lead to unfortunate reactions – anger, frustration and so on.

Achieviing a state of happy patience

Given being patient gets better results and lowers the risk of negative feelings being able to practice this behaviour clearly has some value. The real question is how to do this.

Like any skill, it can be learned.  The first step is to create a realistic understanding of what patient behaviors are.  If you can’t visualize what it looks like it is impossible to imitate.

Patience is individual to a certain extent so you need to understand what it means to you.  Secondly, it is important to buy in to the value equation.  That is accepting the arguments here as to why being patient is beneficial to you.

Pay Attention

Be aware of how you are reacting, that is how you feel and what you are doing.  If you are waiting think about why you are waiting and what is the prize at the end.  simply put focus on the positive.  Don’t let your idle thoughts drag you into the abyss.

Give it a try next time you cannot get instaneous gratification.  Relax, you’ll figure it out.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Crafting the Message

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The way you tell a story is a key determinator of its impact.  The message is not necessarily derived soley from the details of the story and can be enhanced, even altered by how you tell it.

Facts can be molded to create an altered perception through slight of the tongue.  This works just like a magic trick or a con job, often what you say is not as powerful or important as how the information is delivered.

Some exaggerated Examples

This technique of achieving your goals through expert delivery of the message does require some descretion and light touch.  To demonstrate this point I will describe a situation in two ways, these will be exaggerated to make a point .  I would be more subtle in actual practice.

The situation

You left the window open during a thunder storm and the rain came into the house.

Story #1

Good news I left the window open while it was raining and your plants got some badly needed water.

Story # 2

I screwed up and left the window open during the thunderstorm and the inside of the house got soaked.  I am sorry.

And the point

The first story when told with sincerity and the right body language downplays the incident and could well result in a laugh.  The second story could cause result in some disappointment and even anger from the recipient.

Same circumstances, very different reaction from the audience based on how you tell the story.

Think about it next time you are conveying a message.  How you tell it can drive the reaction so some advance thought and planning can help you get the desired result.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Exploring self awarness

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In the context of a leadership or personal power skill (i.e., earned power) self awareness is not just conscious knowledge of ones own character, feeling and desire.

More importantly is using this knowledge coupled with the feedback  cues from those you are interacting with to achieve the best result.  This results in good feeling s all around about the interaction.

In brief,  the more critical aspect of this skill is not the awareness about your own motivations, feelings and reactions, rather the impact these are having and how you use it for everyones benefit.

Awareness enables you to leverage this knowledge about yourself in real time to make every encounter positive and memorable for the others.  It is also the more effective approach to becoming the catalyst for the desired reaction.

Enabling others to do things they did not know they could

Your earned power is very dependent on using your self awareness effectively.  This is a critical skill in your behavioural toolbag to attain and maintain respect.

By optimizing your interraction with others it becomes more likely they will exercise their own leader within.

In a team environment the use of self awareness broadly by all team members simply feeds on itself creating a harmonious and hugely effective group. You can set the example to get this going.

This is leadership not from the front, but rather from within. The actions of the catalyst in the mix prompt the self awareness practice   to commence universally and ultimately it feeds on itself.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Striving for Acceptable

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A key aspect of culture is the definition of acceptable behavior.  The culture defines the minimum acceptable behavior.  This does not preclude groups or individuals within the culture from exceeding the bar.

Actions deemed below the bar can have consequences (e.g. in a sample corporate culture swearing in a meeting might be below acceptable and result in some form of chastisment).

Setting the bar

Cultural norms can be defined by laws or just developed contextually within organizational constraints, or a combination.  Within organizational culture leaders have marked influence on what is acceptable.

While leaders provide direction the members of the organization forge the details.  These can be clearly documented or could just be experiential.

That is to say, developed through actual group behaviors and practices over time, or a combination of influences together with clearly documented rules and associated consequences.

Some organizations use comprehensive clearly documented policies strictly to guide and enforce culture well others are more elemental in their approaches.  Those cultures just develop over time, in whatever direction.

Striving for Excellence

If the members of your organization are are not stretching to go beyond the cultural bar of what constitutes acceptable, don’t expect more than mediocre results overall.

And if the team is striving to just reach the minimum acceptable level, that probably means the culture acknowledges that low quality is okay  (it meets the definition of acceptable) then maybe it’s time to think about changing team members.

Is this the kind of performance you really want?

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

The key to respect

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Whether interacting with others in a home, workplace or social environment your behaviour is a key foundation to the respect you are granted.

We all percieve the things others do in the context of our own filters.  This perception underlies our reaction and the shape of our interaction with others.

What is respect?

A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements. (with a nod to Melania Trump, I copied this from a google search, giving credit makes it a copy not plagiarism.)

How can you ensure a high level of respect?

The question really becomes; is there a way I can behave so that others will consistently perceive ( regardless of their unique filter) high ability, strong values  all underpinned by achievement?

I believe the answer is yes.  There is a key foundational behaviour that can be leveraged  to ensure what ever you do , however you behave,  it will cause you to respected by others.

The practice of self awarness, is the key here.  That is understanding what others need to craft their perception in a specific way.  Then behaving that way, and voila you are respected. Consistently.

Of course the concept is simple, like so many things,  the practice requires hours of study and practical experience to master.  The value of working on this skill is evident, the benefits far outweigh the effort to learn and practice it.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Your team is in training

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A colleague proposed a great analogy during a discussion we had today about leadership techniques.  It is well worth sharing, conceptually this could generate some powerful ideas  around some leadership techniques you may want to consider.

Coach or Trainor

An athlete, whether part of an individual or team sport looks to their coach and/ or trainor for guidance.  In this sports analogy the tasks are athlectic feats.  The goal, ultimately is winning.

In a business, non-profit, family or other organization the concept of training team members to be the very best at their task (from customer service to product development) is the same as in a sports setting.

Leaders within these organizations can benefit from thinking of themselves as the coach or trainor.  The motivational behaviors are the same, thinking of yourself as the coach might help you focus on the best approaches.

Key actions to drive for the win, key leadership behaviors;

  • make it clear what it takes to win.  If the benchmark is the 4 minute mile set 3.9 minutes as the target.
  • heal the pain.  If they need a massage or hot spa treatment to be on top of their game, provide it. (In the non sports world this could  entail tools and empathy, the concept of helping to heal/ being phtysically ready is the same)
  • instil confidence. If they believe they can do it, then they can.  Help them believe this.
  • teach them how,  Knowing the best way to complete a task, building up to the win (e.g., quarter mile at a time) helps ensure sucess.  The leader/coach/trainor can set the framework for this.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Happy Anniversary

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A year ago to the day I started to capture a series of randam musings and post them to the world in blog format (a web log of interesting thoughts, however random)

I have made 313 posts in the last 365 days or 6 posts a week on average.  I’ve recieved 65 comments directly and another 60 or so via e-mail, face book and linked-in. This is a little over 2 comments a week.

So what did I post about?

Financial management and investing – 30 posts

Leadership,organizational and human behaviour – 137 posts

Entertainment including posts about listening to music –  17 posts

Electronics, the Internet ans Social Media – 11

Customer Service – 6

And a whole lot of other stuff –  112

Behavior

As you can see from the numbers Observations and suggestions on ways to behave, being aware of how you behave and mapping it to how you live are one of the most common posts.

Not surprisingly, a whole bunch of individual random thoughts comes a close second. This are just observations on topical events or even just mundane things like taking out the garbage.

Where to from here

As long as it keeps my interest the posts will flow.  I hope they are interesting, thought provoking and even on occassion , helpfull.  And if they are not, to use one of my favorite sayings, “find someone who cares.”

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Saving the planet, one leaf at a time

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I don’t have a green thumb, nor does gardening give me pleasure the way it does for some.  I have overheard avid gardiners say it is more relaxing than a massage. Yuk.

However, the importance of plant life in the reduction of carbon dioxide and replenishment of oxygen cannot be overstated.  We need plants to survive and thrive.

Supporting Humanity

My wife does complain about how difficult it is to get me to assist with gardening chores, this is true.  Hopefully you can sense a “but” coming though.

When it comes to saving the life of a poor desparate plant I am like the horse whisperer.  That is surprisingly sucessful.

Seven years ago when we moved into our present home the birch tree in the back yard looked dead.  Spring came with no visible growth.  It’s dead said my wife, cut it down and we will plant something else.

Wait I said, it does not feel dead and lo and behold three weeks later a small fledgling growth spouted aside the dead trunk.  I cut away the clearly dead part and now seven years later we have a thriving almost twenty foot tall birch.

Saving the Indoor Plant

A couple of months ago my wife was going to turf the mossy creation pictured here.  I took it under my wing and lasy week a new leaf sprouted – it’s the smallest leaf on the right in the picture.

image

That’s my motto, save the ones that need help and increase the oxygen supply for everyone.