Tag Archives: awareness

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Meeting Everyones Needs

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The greater our ability to be fully conscious of our own character, feelings, motives, and desires (i.e., self-awareness) the more will be able to change our behavior to best integrate with other people.

Adapting our behaviours in ways that resonate with our own needs (which is why we need to know what those are) but taking into account the needs of others will produce the most effective results.

Constant Adaptation

Our personalities are formed by our late teens and changing our “go-to” behaviours holistically after this point requires great effort and occurs rarely.

By our early adult years changing behaviour typically requires conscious and concerted effort with a self focus.  Others can influence how we behave but the ultimate choice of behaviour lies with us.

Constantly adapting the way we react to and provide direction for others relies on a high level of self awareness.  To change and adapt our behaviours we must consciously understand ourselves.

Motivation arises from understanding.

Focus on Everyone

While life is all about me, it is impossible to live without the interactions of others. Their understanding and support is critical, we cannot thrive without it.

Your focus needs to be founded on a base self understanding, it is all about you, however successfully navigating life’s challenges means constantly adapting the way you act to maximize the perception and thus the support of other people.

The world and people that surround us is constantly changing as a results of shifting circumstances, we need to be able to do that as well.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Missing Pieces

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Sometimes we do not have all the information needed to determine the best course of action.  After all, this is about things we don’t know, which can include things we don’t even know we don’t know.

These missing pieces are not always important but sometimes they are critical in such a way that it is impossible to do the right thing or succeed without considering them.

Is Something Missing

Looking for missing information begins with assessing the completeness and accuracy of what you know.  Putting together the known facts can lead to questions.

This concept is the foundation of a good mystery novel.  As the author unfolds the story facts are withheld but the information provided is enough for the hero of the story to determine that something is missing .

One of the pleasures for the reader is to match wits against the story detective and figure it out as well, before the author discloses all.

Looking for the Missing Piece

Knowing something is missing helps the search for it.  If you are convinced things don’t add up and a reasonable conclusion cannot be achieved without more info you are more likely to be motivated to search hard.

Believing something unknown exists drives us to search until we find it.  Giving up is frustrating and rare.  When we believe there is an answer most of us will hang in their until we find it or at least believe we have found it.

Watch out for the red herring.

Be Wary

When making an assessment, before concluding give careful consideration as to wether you have the complete picture.  It can save you from grief and missteps.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Oh Behave

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To be a living human being means every moment involves some action. This may be passive (e.g., breathing) or active (e.g., speaking to someone) or all points between.

The point is that we are always behaving, that is acting in response to a particular situation or stimulus. Our behavior defines us. How your behavior is interpreted in the eyes of others is key to who you are.

Self Awareness

The way you view your own behavior, your motivation and rationale for what you do, is a key to self actualization but understanding how others perceive your actions is also critical.

For me, being self aware encompasses the ability to adapt your behavior for maximum personal pleasure within the context of other peoples views of your actions.

Although it may sound simple, behaving within the context “it’s all about me” while giving full credence to not impinging on the needs of others is actually a very difficult and complex activity.

Execution

The conundrum is being true to yourself while adhering to the views of others; views which can often be diametrically opposed to your own.

The ability to behave with a goal to make both yourself and everyone else happy – pleasure to all – is the underpinning of success. Our heroes and those we admire most can typically be (though not exclusively) both self centered and philanthropic (they love all people).

Self awareness starts with consciously paying attention to both how you are behaving at any given moment and how others are reacting to it. This is the easy part.

Deciding how to behave in a way that does not compromise your personality (your go to behaviors) while meeting the needs of others, now that is the tricky part.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Persistence

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Sometimes it is difficult to achieve your goals. Firm or obstinate continuance of your efforts, in spite of the difficulty or opposition being experienced may be in order.

Persistence can be an admirable trait as long as it is well thought out. Persistence for it’s own sake could be characterized as stubbornness.

That is, having or showing dogged determination not to change one’s attitude or position on something although there may be good reason to do so, does not make sense (i.e., stubbornness should be avoided).

Achievement

Being persistent can be a key underpinning of many great successes, however, knowing when to quit is critical. The proverbial banging your head against a concrete wall in frustration is typically not a useful approach.

The keys to the effective practice of persistence are:

  • Achievement of the goal is feasible (it can be done within the constraints you are under)
  • The value equation is positive, that is the outcomes merit the expenditure of persistent effort that will be required.
  • The application of common sense, i.e., stopping based on changing circumstances or revising approach

Determination

One facet of persistence is the exercise of determination. Demonstrating a firmness of purpose based on logical analysis is key to persistence.

Most importantly this is not blind determination at all costs. To be most effective it should be apparent the motivation underlying the desire to achieve is well reasoned.

Being determined does not equate to never giving up but rather not giving up if that is appropriate based on the circumstances. Showing determination when success is unlikely is most likely a waste of effort.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Short and Sweet

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When communicating with others there is a lot of good things to be said about being brief but still complete, accurate and to the point. 

Over many years of practicing both written and verbal communication to small, medium and large audiences, I learned from feedback, short and sweet was best. 

Retention

If your intent is to for the audience to absorb the messages short and sweet is the way to go.  I have often heard other describe how a long monologue or book length explanation is needed. 

My response, as cynical as it may sound, is always, “Why to bother, most of your content will be wasted effort.”  Experience has made it clear to me, length rarely, probably never, adds clarity. 

Motivation

Length also is a great motivator to incent the reader to procrastinate.  How often have you followed up on a message you left and been told: “Saw it but didn’t have a chance to read or listen yet.”

Basically,  the message to you (which is short and sweet) translates to: “Your massive input is a bit overwhelming, I know I have to get to it but hopefully later rather than sooner.”  

Call to Action

 Every communication should have a purpose.  Broadly you can think of this as a call to action.  That is, what do you want the recipients to do.  This could range from do nothing beyond increasing knowledge and awareness, to a very specific measurable activity (e.g., buy the car).

Whether the call to action is physical and measurable or just an increased awareness understanding your intent and how you will confirm it was achieved are all part and parcel of the short and sweet communication strategy. 

Ultimately, over time, it is likely you will find much more success achieving your call to action when practicing short and sweet, than otherwise. 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Self Motivated

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If one of your go to behaviours includes being  motivated to act simply based on your own enthusiasm toward getting things accomplished, you are self motivated.

In essence this means you would typically  be demonstrating  a high level of initiative, that is the ability to assess and start things independently.

Self Managing

Leaders seek people to join their groups who both act without being asked or told (initiative) but also can self manage, that is being fully responsible for thier actions.

Peoples behaviour will always create an  impact and without acknowledging and accepting responsibility for that impact (i.e., outcomes) of your behaviour there is a higher risk of bad behaviour (i.e.,  you don’t worry about the results, it is someone elses responsibility).

Initiative alone, without self management, can produce unexpected and even unwanted results.

Oversight

Demonstrated initiate coupled with satisfactory self management can result in a high performing team or group.  The hands off style of leadership can be very effective with these teams, and micro-managing can be detrimental.

The teams productivity is high because the work self motivation typically results in a high level of personal satifaction by those that practice it.

One failing I often see with hands off management of highly motivated groups is the mistaken belief that given the skills and abilities of the group members oversite is not needed or can be a minimal levels.

Granted one of the benefits of self motivated, self managed teams is that direct oversight is not needed.   This does not mean leaders and mangers do not need to be well informed.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

What do people think about you

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Your reputation is basically what others think about you.  Over the last couple of posts my key postulate has been about the value of  managing your reputation (in marketing terms, your brand).

The basic framework for personal reputation management is to first understand what you want your reputation to be, then what it is and finally craft a plan to either maintain it or change it.

Maintaining,changing or a combination, is both audience and current state dependent.  The key here is to not submit and hope but to be proactive.

So, what is my reputation?

Asking others this question directly usually does not work.  Most people are conscious of thier own reputation and treat the question more as an opportunity to advance their own agenda.

The best way is anonymous surveys overseen by an independent party that does not know you and has research based experience to craft and interpret insightful questions.

The internet offers a variety of options for this kind of service from free to costly and of course their are many consulting agencies you can pay to do this for you ( of varying quality).

Observation

Independent feedback is not always practical or feasible.  Do not give up, personal observation is a tool that can be just as effective.

This entails activities like:

  • watching  how people behave around you or in context of activities you are involved in.  Peoples body language and they things they do and say in the normal course can be very telling.
  • indirect probing about things that appear to be about something else. ( e.g., How are you enjoying this project?) As a project participant you can leverage the reponses as indicative of your own reputation.
  • gently guide various people you interract with to share what they hear others saying about you, albeit indirectly.

In short observe how people behave relative to things you have involment in and course directly toward you.  Don’t be superficial in your self assessment.  Think deeply.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Self Awareness/ Confidence and Arrogance

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The ability to focus on yourself separate from the environment and other individuals, is the basic concept underlying the emotional intelligence attribute of self awareness.

Typically this requires an internal belief in the abilitiy to rely on yourself and your judgement.  You believe and trust in yourself.

Combined these behavioural traits can appear to others as an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions (i.e., arrogance)

Avoiding the Arrogance Label

While confidence and self awareness are powerful personal attributes, valued and invaluable tools for you to achieve your personal goals, being percieved as arrogant is something to avoid.

The ability to be both self aware and confident in a way that is not percieved as arrogant requires concious effort.  By default these behaviours can send the wrong message.

As you travel down the road of winning friends and influencing others (to quote Dale Carnegie) make sure you use your sensitivity to balance the way you are percieved.

That is, use your self awareness of others reactions toward you to influnce and change those reactions.  Manage your personal behaviours in a way that those you are interracting with like.

This is not a natural or unconcious approach.  Be fully aware of how you are behaving, constantly judge how others percieve it and change as needed to get the desired reaction.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Communication Consideration

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One of the most important interpersonal skills is communicating with others.  As we are growing up we receive formal training for reading and writing.  What about spoken communication?

Our parents or guardians begin the process of guiding us through how to interact with others.  This is largely experiential .  We learn by observing.

Basic Concepts of Communicating

It is dissapointing to me that we do not yet provide formal education in the basic concepts of communication starting from a young age.  That is, incorporating them into our elementary school curriculums.

Principles of Communicating

There is always a sender and a receiver.  Information passes from the sender to the receiver.

The transmission can be full duplex (senders can communicate simultaneously) or half duplex ( the information transmission is uni-directional and the receiver must wait for the information transnission to complete before sending)

Both the sender and receiver have filters and a bias through which the information is interpreted.  That is, the way the sender formulates their transmission is subject to their bias.  The way the reciever interprets the information is subject to their bias.

Using the principles to Communicate more effectively

A solid understanding of these basic principles is a great tool toward improving communication with others.  Understanding the mechanics of communication is key to being able to improve the quality of your interactions.

This is a similar principle to self awareness, the more you understand whats going on around you (ie, how communications work at a basic level) the better you are able to modify and improve your communications.