I often wonder why people view conceit as a negative trait.  For me it is hard to understand why having an excessively favorable opinion of ones own ability, importance and wit could be considered a personality flaw.

Circular Argument

Using constraint about expressing your ability and importance (humility) is considered a positive trait.   If you are able to practice humility, that is you have the ability and skill to do so you should be proud of yourself (a conceit).

And so, the argument circles, if you are conceited it means a lack of humility, however a lack of humility leads to low levels of conceit.

Be Proud, Stand Tall

I am proud of my capabilities, not in comparison to others but as they relate to me  (Sometimes it really is just about me).  To operate and integrate with other people I need to balance conceit and humility but inwardly I do not view strong self confidence as a bad thing (an internal conceit if you will).

Only you control what you are, not what others think

There is an argument that is “I believe I am, then I am”.  This philosophy has been expressed by many groups in many different forms through out human kinds history.

It is conceptual.  Consider for example that I believe I am selfless.  I might not be viewed by others that way.  My road to being selfless though starts with my own conscious belief.  Without that personal internal foundation it really is unlikely I will become selfless.

Of course on the other hand, believing I am selfless does not make it so.

In the End

Balance in all of these traits – self confidence, conceit, humility and dozens of others – is the real key.  Although it is a bit of a trite saying “too much of anything is not a good thing”.

The key point I am trying to make though, is don’t let others drive you to false humility.  When you need a personal conceit, go for it (although never at the expense of others).