All posts by steve@kerrzone.com

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Personal Values

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Each of us has the opportunity to explicitly define our broad desirable goals that motivate specific actions and serve as guiding principles in our lives.

Many do not consciously define or refine these goals yet as they move through their lives the underlining values can be readily distinguished.

Take the Time to Define & Refine

Often I observe others personal values formed based on their environments and although susceptible to some changes over time often the basic associated behavior’s become entrenched early on.

This is often referred to as one personality.  It can be changed over time but typically remains quite constant as it was formed up to early adulthood.

By consciously examining your personal values over time you have a greater opportunity to make ongoing continuous improvements thus potentially becoming a better person.

Broader Conformance

As we are social animals, genetically encoded from birth, aligning your own personal values with those of the broader society of which you are part is critical.

Those that do not adopt the generally principles undertaking by their social groups as a whole can be labeled anywhere from mildly insane to psychotic.

Most of us choose to fit within the default values of our social groups on whole even though sometimes this is not personally fulfilling.

Express Yourself

In order to advance your own state of enjoyments I believe taking the time to recognize and refine your own values so they are easy for you to draw on a behavioral guides is key.

An example of simply easily understood and adopted personal values could be something like:

  • I believe in better
  • Everyone is important
  • If I say I will then I will (A promise is a promise)
  •  Change is good

The key is to be concise, simple, straightforward and to select values that will fit within the social whole but  resonate with who you are.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

It could be worse

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I wonder why many people were willing to accept the sad and harsh context of their lives.  This is highlighted for me when considering history of what we often classify as first world countries.

Many of these nations (e.g., England, France, Japan) had basically only two classes (upper and lower classes).  This meant a few (the upper class) were able to leverage the efforts of the majority (the lower class) to live in comfort and luxury.

Peasant class

Recently watching some British historical dramas (via streaming of course) got me wondering why for example poor servants, farmers and manual workers accepted their lower social status.

I wonder if the “it could be worse” mentality had much to do with it.  Perhaps those nobles and members of the royal classes provided basic subsistence to the working classes so they would not rebel.

Coupled with this were situations where the the very unfortunate could be used as examples of how a person could suffer if they did not accept their position in life and carry on.  That is help them realize things could be worse.

Rise of the middle class

As North America became colonized the native inhabitants were often placed in the lower class roles while the immigrants (many arriving with lower class backgrounds) took the opportunity to overcome the “could be worse stigma” and created a middle class.

That is they freed themselves in the new world from the masters that wanted them to stay in their places.

At this time the creation of the middle class became a relatively world wide phenomena as the Americas became more populated by immigrants the lower classes in the “old” countries began also to break out the the prison’s created for them by the upper classes.

Ultimately today the class structures still exist but for many middle and upper middle classes provide opportunities to think more in terms of the possible than be constrained by the “good enough”.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

The Seasons Spirit

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With the global pandemic affecting public health in all corners of the globe, I wondered if the holiday season spirit would still thrive as we approach the many significant widely recognized celebrations that occur this time of the year (e.g., Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa).

In many locales social gatherings are banned or severally restricted this includes restrictions on many traditional festive gatherings both religious and otherwise.

Human Spirit Prevails

It appears the strength of the human spirit is able to overcome adversity.   My observation is that everyone’s practices are taking different forms  to account for public health needs but the spirit of the season is still very apparent.

In a time when joy, peace and happiness are badly needed, we are  arising to the occasion.    Gift giving traditions and social interactions, meals and parties are muted and restrained but the spirit of joyous celebration is breaking through.

Once a year around the globe humans celebrate their own humanity and that of others.  This is a designated time (just after the winter or summer solstice depending on which hemisphere you reside) when we all get together, raise our tolerance levels and unite as one.

Humanity Prevails

The benevolence at the root of humanness is not always apparent and times of stress don’t usually bring out the best of us.  It appears the overriding sentiments of this traditional festive season overcome the extreme challenges of our current circumstances.

For me this is just evidence that at the heart of each human is a base of decency, love of others and desire for everyone to be joyous.  This designated time of year is a terrific opportunity for us to take advantage of and pandemic or not we will.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Keep on Learning

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Is a post secondary education degree worth attaining after retirement?  As a proponent of life long learning my opinion is a resounding yes.

Using the degree to support your own employment aspirations is an unlikely objective (although possible) in the case of entering a degree granting program in the latter part of your life.   Still though there is value in just the opportunity for knowledge growth.

Learning Opportunities are Endless

The value in gaining new (i.e., previously unknown to you) facts, information, and skills  through experience or formal education to enhance your theoretical or practical understanding of a subject does not stop until you die.

Learning can have both a direct value and an indirect one.  On the direct side for example enhanced skills can form the foundation for improved work and compensation opportunities.

The indirect benefits are harder to quantify but just as impactful if perhaps not even more so than the obvious gains associated with an enhanced work environment.  Keeping your brain healthy will enhance and elongate your life yet it is not fully measurable.

Effort Required

The most common description I hear about peoples retirement aspirations is “take it easy, relax, enjoy yourself”.  While learning can require significant effort it also can be fun, relaxing and enjoyable.

In fact even the most common retirement activities like golfing, fishing or playing games (like chess)require skill.  To continually improve and hopefully enjoy the “play” more constant learning is needed.

Post retirement formal degree focused education does not have the same win or lose attributes associated with it as when you are younger and can be just as much fun  (depending on your attitude perhaps more fun) as the more traditional retirement activities.

Give it a try, you may be surprised.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Even the best made plans …….

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Sometime things just do not work out.  Your expectations might not be met or others make mistakes which results in additional effort on your part.

Even when you carefully analyze the requirements, follow any instructions provided to you and clearly communicate your needs and expectations something might not happen the way you planned for it to.

Overcoming Frustration

I find bureaucracy is a great driver of situations where re-work is needed.  The issue is small discrepancies which really have little impact on the outcomes can be triggers for the pompous bureaucrat to exercise their authority. simply because they can.

Recognizing frustrating moments can and will occur regularly is important in managing your way through them.  Personally I learned long ago that most often acquiescence and submissions works best toward ultimate achievement of your goal.

Of course this is not really my go to behavior but rather a learned one based on experience.   The pain caused by being forthright about how you feel (e.g., saying things like seriously this is your mistake) just is not worth it.

Win Win

After enmeshing myself in greater difficulty by seeking even demanding others be reasonable, an approach that might make me feel good, I often found it does not necessarily result in getting what I need.

By accepting things do not always go as expected no matter how well you have planned your actions, I find the best approach is to just go with the flow.

I have come to realize overcoming frustration by succeeding is often the best way to go.   Why fight it, ultimately you win and those responsible for the difficult process get what they want so I guess it is a win win, not that the others deserve it.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Have Patience my Friend

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All of us has some capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.  How much capacity varies both by each individuals personality (go to behaviours) and perceived circumstances.

If your expectations were set through a hard commitment you may have little patience with delays however even in these cases you may be able to accept poor performance.   A lot depends on the personal impacts, i.e., is it painful or just annoying?

A Virtue?

Some associate patient behaviour with high moral standards and thus patience is often classified as virtuous.  Basically your tolerance and ability to accept the failings of others is a positive value.

For me this is not an absolute value but rather, as with so many things, patience needs to be a balanced behaviour.  There are times to act on your frustration, but with appropriate thought.

In other cases the results will turn out better and most likely be sustainable if you wait.  Exercising patience is best managed through a self assessment.

Eating Away at you.

When something does not occur in accordance with your expectations you may well be feeling of upset or annoyed, especially when you are not readily able to change something or achieve your goal.

Caution is recommended to avoid acting in a ways which  moves you further from your goal.  Granted the delay be upsetting but your first approach should also ways be to pause and reflect.  Waiting a little longer is probably not going to be a disaster.

Responding too quickly could well make things worse.  This is not to say patience will lead to resolution.  Balance your frustration with an appropriately timed plan of action.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Maturity is not about age

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Behavioural maturity is benchmarked against characteristic behaviour of a well balanced human adult.  While subjective to a degree mature individuals are able to practice interpersonal skills in ways that lead to consistently positive results.

Maturity is learned through observation and strongly environmentally influenced however the basic behaviours are mainly logical and intuitive.

Acting with Maturity

Although education and experience are cornerstones of mature behaviour this doesn’t necessarily mean older people will behave in a mature manner and younger people are not yet able too.

Selecting the most appropriate way to interact with others or respond to any specific set of circumstances is improved by background knowledge and understanding of what is acceptable  or not but common sense and intuition are also key skills.

Choosing the best ways to react requires a basic understanding of human nature and associated best practices but also relies  on the ability to be patient, empathetic and prudent.

Interactive versus Reactive

A basic tenant of mature behaviour is recognition all interpersonal reactions contain a social component to some extent.  Although the extent of socialization is dependent on the nature of the interaction it is always present to some degree.

Acting in a way that clearly recognizes and respects the needs of others (i.e., social requirements)  is a key sign of mature behaviour.  Recognizing normal behaviour requires consistent and complete repect of both yourself and others (the core of maturity).

Mature behaviour also needs to be intrinsic to the way you think and act and otherwise will be easily recognized by others as superficial.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Are you Annoyed?

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Sometimes we are angry or irritated.  This can be a mild form of annoyance to the more extreme case where a person could be described as being “fit to be tied”

Historically this expression relates to constraining a bull so that it can be handles.  Bulls are known for expressing their annoyance, or perhaps it could be called anger, in very physical ways thus the need for constraint.

Keep Control

When you are feeling annoyed this is often readily reflected in your behaviour and can result in less than optimal outcomes.  In these situations allowing our annoyance (although perhaps very valid for us to be annoyed), causes us to act more based on emotion.

Our feelings are real to us and a very important aspect of both our individuality and overall humanity however it can cloud our logical thinking processes leading to emotional satisfying but truly illogical behaviour.

Consider Outcomes

The best approach to using your annoyance in a positive way is to take the time to consider outcomes.   Acting precipitously based on what are powerful feelings can make you feel good in the moment, but the key question is “Will you regret it.”

I occasionally wonder the value of strong emotions as they can result in actions we question afterwards and perhaps even really regret.

However, there is real value in our ability to portray emotion for others to understand how we feel but this is best done in a way that does not lead to an adverse response.  Emoting works best when used in a practical way.

So next time you are annoyed consider the best way to use those feeling to achieve your goals and resolve whatever is annoying you in the first place.

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Is it you?

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Many times through out our lives we will experience conflict.  At times our exchange of information with others will appear adversarial.

We may be criticized or perceive others behaviour to be rude or unfriendly.   Often in these cases we assign fault to the others and use this determination to justify our own righteous behaviour.

Solution Based Action

Regardless of the cause, which usually involves every one to some extent, overcoming unpleasant situations is most easily done by avoiding blame and focusing on behaviours that will resolve the conflict in a way that everyone wins.

When we are wronged or at least believe we have been wronged it is relatively easy to focus on ourselves and our needs We are in the right and dam it others need to know they have wronged us.

This approach results in us acting in ways that do not defuse conflict but rather result in escalation.  Although not our intention we become a contributor to the problem.  And through our actions the problem becomes worse.

Get over it

Perhaps you are not at fault, perhaps you have been mistreated by others.  Reacting to their rudeness or inappropriate actions in a retaliatory way might be good for you but it is unlikely to lead to a resolution.

Most likely your actions lead to a response which will just make the situation worse.  Accepting that shit happens, focusing on ways to work with others to achieve a state of happiness for everyone is a far more logical approach.

Work Together

Is it you, is it me, who cares.  Conflict is best resolved through joint actions.  Lashing out in spite might give you a brief satisfaction but it will not be sustainable.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Are we in control?

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I have had a frustrating day from a technology perspective.  Both Microsoft and Apple have forced me to spend a significant part of the day waiting for their software updates to finish.

This is annoying not just from the perspective of the time required for the updates to finish but aggravated by the fact I cannot use the computers while the updates take place.

Inconvenience

For me and my wife, these regular updates have quite the impact given the multitude of hardware we have, although I will note Android and Linux updates are not forced on you.

Although you can select manual control of Windows, OSX and IOS updates the processes are designed to, shall we say, “encourage” you to download and install precipitously.

With more than 10 different hardware devices affected by these regular updates some which can take a couple of hours and entail downloading multi-gig-a-bytes of data (e.g. last major OSX upgrade) this is really becoming annoying.

Push at Night

Of course both Apple and Microsoft recommend you do auto-updates overnight.  Sounds brilliant, yet, it never works right for me and I end up spending the morning adjusting and recovering.

Maybe I am just targeted by their dev teams, somehow they got my IP and make my updates more difficult.  Who knows, although I am just a humble guy with technology as a hobby, why on earth would they pick on me.  Aah, I remember it is user error.

Security Matters

The driving force for these updates seems to me to be keeping the operating system current as it is less likely to be hacked and is therefore more secure.

The other feature enhancements are mostly just annoying, albeit interesting but really there is a very small value equation.  Do I really want to spend 5 to 8 hours every month keeping my devices secure?

Rethorical question – emfatically NO!