Tag Archives: behaviour values

Personal Values

Each of us has the opportunity to explicitly define our broad desirable goals that motivate specific actions and serve as guiding principles in our lives.

Many do not consciously define or refine these goals yet as they move through their lives the underlining values can be readily distinguished.

Take the Time to Define & Refine

Often I observe others personal values formed based on their environments and although susceptible to some changes over time often the basic associated behavior’s become entrenched early on.

This is often referred to as one personality.  It can be changed over time but typically remains quite constant as it was formed up to early adulthood.

By consciously examining your personal values over time you have a greater opportunity to make ongoing continuous improvements thus potentially becoming a better person.

Broader Conformance

As we are social animals, genetically encoded from birth, aligning your own personal values with those of the broader society of which you are part is critical.

Those that do not adopt the generally principles undertaking by their social groups as a whole can be labeled anywhere from mildly insane to psychotic.

Most of us choose to fit within the default values of our social groups on whole even though sometimes this is not personally fulfilling.

Express Yourself

In order to advance your own state of enjoyments I believe taking the time to recognize and refine your own values so they are easy for you to draw on a behavioral guides is key.

An example of simply easily understood and adopted personal values could be something like:

  • I believe in better
  • Everyone is important
  • If I say I will then I will (A promise is a promise)
  •  Change is good

The key is to be concise, simple, straightforward and to select values that will fit within the social whole but  resonate with who you are.

Say what you do and do what you say

Being perceived as having a high level of integrity and thus building trust is not difficult.  Believing that you need to commit to actions and then complete those actions is the simple personal value that covers this.

Accepting responsibility for something requires communicating what you plan to do.  This does not mean committing to the outcome (which sometimes is out of your control) but rather committing to an activity, something fully in your control.

Passive/ Aggressive

Being agreeable or apparently accepting of a change, task or directive with no intention of undertaking the action, or even undermining it, is classic passive-aggressive behavior.

This approach could be described as “say what you do but don’t do what you say”.  This method won’t inspire trust but then it is not intended to.

To sabotage an unwanted change or objective is the goal and this technique is easier than being candid or blunt about how you feel.  It is certainly a way to avoid confrontation but does include significant reputational risk.

Not Locked In

A common concern I hear about the straightforward approach to “a promise is a promise”  it does not allow flexibility if things change and you are unable to fulfill the promise.

I beg to disagree.  The promise lays a foundation for expectation.  Ongoing discussion and communication resulting from changing circumstances are a reasonable and widely accepted way to keep expectations realistic.

Most people recognize expectations around an initial commitment can change as a result of circumstance.

Wording to this effect is often embedded in contracts and agreements where opt out of risk event clauses are inserted to ensure delivery on a promise does not become an impossible task.