All posts by steve@kerrzone.com

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Building Teams

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As I have commented in numerous past posts we are not alone.  Working with others, leveraging their skills and abilities as they leverage ours is an optimal approach to getting things done.

That is not to say solitary behaviors (i.e., solely individual activities) are not important and don’t play a role in how we live our lives.  However,  living without interacting with others is almost impossible.

Optimizing the Experience

While,at the core, your life is about you, unquestionably in my mind, we need to be aware of and sensitive to other peoples needs wants and desires.

This could simply be because of  your own committment to personal integrity, (i.e., being honest and showing consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values which include respecting others.)

Or it could be more selfishly motivated.   Positive engagement with others well is needed to influence them and achieve your goals.

Teamwork

If a group of people work together effectively (usually for a common objective but not necessarily)  there is a higher probability of a positive outcome for all.

However when its not effective, that is everyone is acting as an individual, it is worse than going it alone.

Basically effective teamwork relies on the all the team members practicing one core value, “everyone is important.  Everyone believes and acts like everyone else is valued (highly valued).

Teams are not mandated they are founded on this simple value.  If everyone practices it results are extraordinary.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Failure

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If you don’t try to achieve a goal you will not fail (also, of course, it is unlikely you will succeed).  Although failure is defined as a lack of success, this is only true relative to achievement of expected or required action.

In fact, failure is evidence of an attempt.  Trying to achieve something without the possibility of failing is rare and usually means there is only a little challenge if any.

Boldly Go

Overcoming a tense and frightening experience leads to a feeling of exhilaration.  Allowing the fear of failure to overcome your motivation to make the attempt limits your capability to experience the thrill of the win.

Failure is something to embrace.  That is not to imply we should attempt to fail but rather recognize that failure is not a bad thing.  Without failure, there can be no success.

Minimize Risk

Raising the level of confidence with achieving positive results (minimizing the likelihood of failure) can be done through use of risk management.

Consider the things that lead to failure and plan to avoid or mitigate the likelihood they will occur.  Be ready to modify your approach if something unexpected occurs.

Risk management is really just putting forethought into your activities and being prepared to prevent failure by acting accordingly.

Of course, even a rigorously thought out risk mitigation plan does not mean the possibility of failure is eliminated.  That is okay.  Failure just means you have to regroup, reassess and try again.

The positive fact, even if success is not achieved,  is that you made the attempt at all.  No attempt, no failure.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Common Understanding

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For the majority of people, life is not a hermitage.   We regularly interact with others.  Our reality is controlled by us but shaped by others.

Living is smoother and more enjoyable when we are able to achieve a common understanding, without too much effort.  When this is not the case we consider others difficult or visa verse.

Flexibility

The key to reaching a common understanding is resisting the adversarial approach.   When you are not clear what is being communicated just say so.

It is important this is done without rancour, condescension or negativity.  All of these approaches immediately set the context as adversarial.  Others perceive the interchange as a personal attack.

From seeking to understand, using  adversarial behaviours moves  you into a battle mode, even if unintended and this can make the achievement of mutual understanding much more difficult.

All about Us

In a way, I feel strange admitting it is not always about me (but most of the time it is so I guess it’s okay).  To achieve a common understanding the only effective approach is all about us.

A common understanding requires a state of affinity or harmony between people. Standing on your hill alone, willing to die for you right to be right, won’t ever lead to a harmonious understanding.

The motivation to seek mutual consensus about things is simply pleasuring.   It feels good to agree with others, they feel good agreeing with you, ergo, everyone feels good.

Thank you, James Brown

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Toxicity

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A toxic environment is one where the activities, the atmosphere, the people, or any combination of those things cause serious disruptions in the rest of your life.

When you are stuck in a context that is uncomfortable or unpleasant, the solution needs to come from within.  You can make a change that resolves the toxicity

Deal with It!

Living through a toxic environment without an unpleasant effect on your daily life ultimately having permanent long term impact is unlikely.

Doing nothing is not a good approach.  Either leave the environment, or influence a change to the activities, atmosphere, and people that has a real impact.

Of course, acceptance and embracing the toxicity is an option.  In this case, the environment is not considered toxic anymore because you mitigate that impact by adoption.  (This type of resolution does occur although not my personal choice – the Stockholm syndrome is kind of an example of this)

Influence and Impact

Leaving a toxic environment is not always a feasible option.  Livelihood considerations and even the impact of changes in your ongoing routine, need to be considered.

Influencing a change to the environment might also not be a practical choice and sometimes a combination of seeking change, targeting to exit and acceptance are all in play over time.

In the end, though, either one of these things occurs or the negative impacts of the environment take charge and you are permanently affected, in a negative way.

If the environment you spend the majority of your waking hours is toxic, consider action.  You may well regret it if you don’t

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Coaching

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When we are lucky enough for someone to take the time to instruct or train us on how to improve the way we act or behave in order to enable us to attain greater achievements, we should embrace the opportunity.

People in these roles are often called coaches or mentors.  Surprisingly many of us resist a coaching or mentoring opportunity.  To some extent, this is due to personal pride and a strong feeling of independence.

I Don’t Need Help

Unfortunately or maybe it is fortunate, we all need help.  Humans are described as social animals for a reason.  With few exceptions, we need to interact with others.

None of us are so great as to not benefit from others knowledge and ideas.  This does not mean we need to accept or adopt them but sharing/collaborating has been demonstrated in study after study to lead to better results.

Even the outstanding individual athletes require and also have coaches.  Filtering what helps and what does not is a task for the coachee, not everything is of value but if you refuse the instruction or training you miss the chance to be the best.

Coaching Quality

How we coach or mentor others very much determines the receptivity to the teaching.  Not just knowing what is the best method is needed for good coaching.

More importantly, you need to know how to communicate in a way that is understood.  Providing clear benefits in a way that is understood will motivate the trainee much better than telling them to “just do it” or as some coaches are want to be “just fucking do it”.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Micro-manage

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Taking charge and control over every part, however small, of your assigned accountabilities (i.e., micromanage) can be stressful if you have a broad mandate.

Typically, the larger your span of control, the more support you have available to draw on.  Micro-managing in this case is not only stressful to you but harmful to others.

Turn-over

If you are a leader, those associated with you will typically dislike micro-management.  It leads to the question “ Why am I here?”  It also demonstrates a lack of trust.

The result is team members leave, at a high rate.  You replace them but the replacements leave, and so on.  Turn over off 100% in the course of a year would not be unheard of.

Quality

The efficiency and effectiveness of a group become greatly diminished when the expectation of them is clearly do this or do that.

Creativity and innovation are quashed.  The leader seeks to control everything and is not open to others ideas or methods.  Alternate methods, even if they are a more amenable way  to the person performing them are not allowed.

The theme that prevails is the leaders way or the highway.  High turn over rates illustrate this is not just a saying but reality.

Do it Yourself

Many workplace studies of new leaders challenges have found one of the greatest difficulties they have is getting things done through others.  Doing it yourself, your way is so much easier and often more self satisfying.

Sadly though this approach is neither sustainable nor as noted does it result in high quality, innovation or creativity.  However, the leader may feel good about themselves.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Compassion and Understanding

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Communicating in accordance with fact or reality, or a fact or belief that is accepted as true by the majority, is said to be speaking (or writing the truth.

The impact of the truth can sometimes be devastating and so the truth is often best tempered by compassion and understanding.  Both inner truths and those you share with others.

Temper the Message

An old but accurate missive says “The truth can hurt”. Truth is a cornerstone of integrity and trust, it should never be used as a weapon of pain.

Speaking the truth with compassion and understanding is simply a way of crafting the message, still with honesty and integrity, in a way that does no harm.

Blackmail

Using the truth to gain advantage over others, financial or otherwise  (i.e., blackmail) , is deplorable.  This is a case of misuse.  Sometimes it is best to hold wise counsel.

Speaking the truth clearly and broadly is not a required action and should be treated as a matter of discretion .  When communicating or sharing information consider the impact.

Blindly proceeding righteously proclaiming it is true so I can disclose it could be hurtful and ultimately lead to poor results.  You may think it can help achieve your goals but it could in fact backfire on you.

Blackmail is a criminal offence after all.

Internalize

Before sharing the truth boldly and bluntly ask yourself “ How would I feel about this message.”. If it makes you sad or uncomfortable, fearful or angry maybe it’s time to use a little compassion and understanding to craft a softer more amenable truth.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Frustrationfrustration

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When you are the feeling  upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something,  your analytical abilities are impaired.

Your emotions can override a reasoned approach to overcoming the frustration and even make things worse.  I have always wondered about these kind of feelings, they don’t assist in issue resolution, if fact most probably the opposite, so why do they exist?

Involuntary

To a large degree frustration is an involuntary emotion.  Maybe st of us do not seek out frustration or find ways to become frustrated.  Rather it is something to avoid.

Pause and take deep breathes  is the best approach to frustration.  Like anger this emotion can lead to unseemly results and needs to be managed.

Getting into a conscious analytical mode is the best way to put things in perspective and plan an approach to deal with the frustration.

No one or thing can actually make you become frustrated.  Frustration is a mental and physiological state controlled by the owner of your minfd and body, i.e., you.

Given there is no benefit to frustration, why do we allow ourselves to get into this state?  As the fictional Vulcan alien from the popular Star Trek TV show would say, “ It’s not logical”.

Resist

Believing frustration to be both a negative and bothersome emotion is the first step on the road to resistance.  Basically, seeing no value should motivate us to avoid frustration.

Instead of allowing yourself to feel upset or annoyed change the way you view the frustrating circumstances.  Embrace them as an opportunity to rise to the occasion and overcome adversity.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Behave Accordingly

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As I have noted in many past posts how  you and others view you is determined by your behaviour.  How your behaviour is interpreted varies based on perspective.

Basically though , you are to everyone, including yourself, composed of what you do.  Common and repeated go to behaviours form the essence of your personality.

Managing your Behaviour

You always have the opportunity to act in a way that is appropriate to the particular circumstances. Unfortunately it is not always crystal clear what constitutes appropriate, and even when it is that behaviour might not resonate with you.

The consequences of your behaviour might not be apparent until part way through what you have undertaken to do.

This makes it wise to constantly be aware of the results of your actions so you can modify them accordingly is search of better results, if desired.

For Example

If you are seeking to build trust, but show up late for meeting, frequently, this typically is not a good way to build trust, you might want change your behaviour accordingly.

The change you make could be to start repeatedly showing up early for meeting to offset the previous perception and rebuild peoples confidence you can meet their expectations.

Focus on your Goal

Your personal goal is often the circumstance to focus on when determining the appropriate behaviour.  This might mean your go to or personality based behaviours need to be overridden.

Any behaviour is possible, with concious thoughts and a little effort.  Acting accordingly, focused on your objective, e.g., building trust, requires you pick the best actions not  always those you might be most comfortable with.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

We can do it

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Believing a future outcome will be successful should be based on reasoned analysis.  Hoping for good results is optimistic but might not be practical.

Optimism can raise your and others spirts.  It can be used to motivate yourself and others. The danger occurs when optimism creates a false belief resulting in lack of preventative or mitigating actions.

Beware of False Assessments

Hoping for the best and proclaiming everything will be okay makes us feel good.  We place our trust in the proclaimer and allow our fears to be assuaged.

This is fine if everything does work out.  We are saved the anxiety associated with a false worry or even panic which could lead to inappropriate response.

The downside is, by not preparing for negative impacts, because our false hope has led us to believe everything will be alright, by the time we realize mitigating action is needed, it could be too-late.

Be prepared

Although it takes effort,  preparing for bad outcomes (although potentially a wasted effort) is a better way to eliminate fear and worry.

This principle can be stated as: “Consider what can go wrong, don’t assume all will be fine”  This proactive approach creates a framework for resolution founded on logic not luck.

Disasters are for the Unprepared

Being ready to address issues, knowing anything can and will occur is not an absolute safeguard against disaster but it is a far better approach than hoping nothing bad will ever occur.

This is a proven methodology, which when put in practice, as it has been by multiple organizations over decades, clearly works.  So why hope for the best, plan for it!