Tag Archives: feeling good

Turning Pain into Gain

Painful experiences are best avoided. However, whether resulting from a physical or mental context we all experience suffering or discomfort from time to time.

Dealing with pain can be an opportunity for gain, in fact, trainers often use the old saw “no pain, no gain”.  Pain and suffering can also lead us to a downward spiral of doom.

Accentuate the Postive

To borrow a little motivational advice from the movie Mary Poppins, focus on how to improve and resolve things.  This is a great way to leverage painful situations as a wake-up call.

This is not about ignoring things that cause you pain.  Rather focus on a resolution that surpasses the status quo.  Use pain as an opportunity to make things better.

Our perspective is an important influencer of our actions.  What we do, that is our behavior, is very much based on the way we regard something; our point of view.

Act to your Benefit

Pain can influence our perspective toward sadness and pity, neither of these emotional views is likely to result in positive action.  Overcoming the pain we feel by rising above and beyond it, seeking positive change is far more personally enriching.

Being mired in sadness or self-pity can become self-fulfilling prophecies.   The results are far better when we act in a way that benefits us.

Allowing external circumstances to become detrimental to our health and well being is a choice but is probably not the best choice for you.

 

Common Understanding

For the majority of people, life is not a hermitage.   We regularly interact with others.  Our reality is controlled by us but shaped by others.

Living is smoother and more enjoyable when we are able to achieve a common understanding, without too much effort.  When this is not the case we consider others difficult or visa verse.

Flexibility

The key to reaching a common understanding is resisting the adversarial approach.   When you are not clear what is being communicated just say so.

It is important this is done without rancour, condescension or negativity.  All of these approaches immediately set the context as adversarial.  Others perceive the interchange as a personal attack.

From seeking to understand, using  adversarial behaviours moves  you into a battle mode, even if unintended and this can make the achievement of mutual understanding much more difficult.

All about Us

In a way, I feel strange admitting it is not always about me (but most of the time it is so I guess it’s okay).  To achieve a common understanding the only effective approach is all about us.

A common understanding requires a state of affinity or harmony between people. Standing on your hill alone, willing to die for you right to be right, won’t ever lead to a harmonious understanding.

The motivation to seek mutual consensus about things is simply pleasuring.   It feels good to agree with others, they feel good agreeing with you, ergo, everyone feels good.

Thank you, James Brown