Tag Archives: communication

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Understand me, please

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The act of imparting or exchanging information, providing direction, or passing on the news is more of an art than it is a science.  Clarity is founded on an individual perspective and to some extent, it is unique to each of us.

Strangely, because of the subjective quality implicit in any message the being coherent and intelligible with what we perceive to be full transparency can still result in misunderstanding.

Assumptions

In almost every communication both the sender and the receiver include things they accept as true or certain without the need for elucidation (i.e., assumptions)

Without assumptions being explicitly identified and defined it is easy for parties to believe the information being exchanged has a unique and clear meaning.  Sigh, sadly this is often not the case.  Depending on the assumptions the message could be very different.

Avoiding Miscommunication

One way communication is most likely to be misinterpreted.  Without the opportunity to test the message (i.e., two-way exchange), combined with a message that appears complete and clear it is easy for the recipient to assume they understood.

This situation applies to the information provider as well.  Without receiving feedback they can only assume the everyone understood the point and all is well.

In these situations, surprises occur frequently and the result is often by choruses of “that is not what I meant” and “well that is what you said”.    The intent of the message is not achieved.

Keeping the content simple is obviously one way to achieve clarity but most important is testing/validating the communication on multiple sources, getting feedback, and modifying accordingly.

This of course is really critical when providing directions or instructions on how to do something.  Misunderstandings can lead to costly mistakes.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Leading Change

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One of the biggest dilemmas is how to best communicate major changes to their followers.  Specifically what to communicate and when is a  tough choice.

In fact, this can put the leader in a very difficult situation, and often each option looks equally bad.  This can appear like a problem with no satisfactory solution.  Tell too much and people might react inappropriately, too little and fear and uncertainty set in.

I don’t know

During my working career, I have experienced many major changes within the organization I have been a part of.  Also significant changes in government and culture have occurred over time.

In each case, my observation is the worst possible response for leaders of the change is “I don’t know, haven’t figured it out yet”.  While this may be accurate it is very disconcerting to the followers and usually erodes trust and creates additional anxiety.

The dilemma in this situation is often about disclosure.  Perhaps it is too early to disclose all you know and you don’t want to lie or perhaps you really don’t know.

How you say it

I agree lying or making stuff up to calm people at the moment is the worst possible tactic but straight-up waffling or giving political answers that really do not address the question to just saying I don’t know directly is really a bad approach.

There are many ways to communicate about things you don’t know or are unwilling to share at a given time that put a positive spin on the situation and most importantly do not imply the presence of secrecy ( secrecy can be very disturbing to followers).

So don’t prevaricate but also be clear about what and when you will disclose, listen closely to the messages of your followers and be empathetic to their needs in your responses.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Passive Approach

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Email became the prime business communications tool starting in the nineteen nineties, overtaking snail mail which was the prime source to that point.

Today, with all its warts and even with the advent of a variety of messaging tools (SMS, Twitter, Linked In) email still remains firmly entrenched as the easy communication tool of choice.

Submit and Hope

While email is a far more efficient tool when compared to written or typed documents sent by hand, internal or external mail services (and occasionally courier) this ease of delivery and tracking has some drawbacks.

Many now use email as a passive messaging method.  Issues and concerns are often disseminated to multiple parties at the push of a button.

The receipt can be tracked/proven electronically and so the sender is able to say “I told you so” in defense if an untoward event occurs and the those who should have known about it and reacted accordingly did not.

It’s not my fault, I sent you an email about it.

Information Overload

Sadly, the ease of writing and sending emails creates a massive overflow of electronic communications, such that many recipients are often overwhelmed and just cannot get through them all.

Just personal observation, in the days before emails, daily correspondence going through a small ten-person office was likely a tenth of what it is today with email.

Given this context, for really important messages I strongly recommend direct contact with immediate feedback.  Sure follow up with an email if you wish but don’t rely on it.

You may be able to massage your own guilt using the email technique, (i.e., I told you via email) but it does not address the real issue, communication that gets the results needed.  Actually solving the problems before they occur.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Test for Clarity

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The quickest way to screw things up is believing your message is fully understood, or that you understand an incoming message perfectly.

If your belief is nothing more than an assumption the well known and overused truism  “Assume makes an ass of U and Me” takes effect.  Simply put, the risk of a negative impact, if your assumption is incorrect, is large than you think.

Validate

Avoiding this risk is pretty simple.  Check the meaning.  This is not like check the meaning at the door but rather confirmation what you are thinking is what others are thinking.

Words regardless of the language used only to have the meaning we assign to them.  Technically each word has well defined common meanings that everyone understands.

The way the words are strung together (i.e., sentences) also have rules that ensure common usage and interpretation.  That of course depends on whether you are familiar with the rules.

Reality

The concept of using language, coupled with actions to express meaning in a way that is subject to common interpretation is of course logical, but is it a reality?

With individual perceptions and bias along with the physical constraints such as hearing and eyesight limitations, our interpersonal communications are open to being misconstrued more often than not.

Paraphrase

One very simple verification technique is to replay the message with different words and sentence structure while retaining the meaning.

This will often expose those quirks we are all subject to when sending and receiving information from others.  Taken to an extreme don’t just paraphrase but act it out as well.

Did you get my meaning of this post? (This is the weakest form of validation of all, i.e.,  asking the direct question to which almost always the answer is Yes, regardless. )

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Common Language

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By using words in a structured way we are able to communicate with each other.  As long as the meaning of the words has a common interpretation we can share both concrete and conceptual ideas with others.

Of course the rub occurs when, although we believe there is a common understanding of the words meaning, personal  perceptions and associated bias can result in altered interpretations.

 Validation

Fortunately our meanings can usually be expressed through a variety of words and sentence structures.   This allows for  use to deliver a message (written or verbal) and have the receiver replay it to us with alternate phrasing and structure.

This type of check can result in identification of different interpretations  and ultimately resolve communication disconnects before they occur.

Re-statement is an extremely effective technique I use frequently to avoid confusion.  It does require patience and can be frustrating, often others wonder why you seem to be repeating everything they say, just differently.

Terminology

Words can be very specialized.  On occasion a specific body of terms can be developed solely for a technical application, study subject or profession.

In these cases the words are often not in broad general use as the terminology applies to very specific cases. It is critically important practitioner validate the meaning of such  terms in advance to ensure a commonality of discourse.

Specifc practitioners can often morph their terminology to fit the environment and practitioners with complementary skills, but from different environments, might have developed different meanings for what sound like common terms.

Without validation this can create a very frustrating and volatile situation.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Networking

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Forging strong bonds with fellow humans is beneficial to both them and you.  Being able to leverage the support of others is invaluable (this should be a two-way street for best effect).

Building and maintaining a network of personal connections is not effortless.  It can take a lot of effort to interact with other people.

Time for Reflection

Solitude can help you refresh your mind but it should be balanced with more extroverted behaviors.  Living in seclusion from society (i.e., constant solitude) is a choice some make (often driven by religious conviction) but this practice has a cost.

The amount of solitude each of us needs to reflect and recharge varies person by person.  It also depends on how much ongoing interaction and stress you have in your life at any given period of time.

The key is to not overdo your required time alone.  For the majority of us, our interactions with other people, friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances are critical for us to thrive and succeed.

But, I strongly suggest, don’t overlook it.

Strengthen your Networks

Whether social, business or family focus having a  group of people that can reach out to you, and you to them is a necessity.  We all need the help of others at times, as they need ours.

The focus of your interpersonal network should not be on size but rather quality.  The base number of connections you choose is a personal choice and may be limited to a small group however the key is their ability to help you and yours to help them.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Let it Go

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There are times when tenacity, that is the ability to firmly grip something and not let it go, is admirable.  Also, there are times when letting go is the better option.

The balance between determinedly following a course of action (e.g. a personal career path) and changing direction (taking a new career path) is not always an easy one to follow.

Just Move On

Holding on relentlessly can cause internal anxiety for you but can also color other peoples perspectives of you in a negative way.  Being perceived as the stubborn or intractable is a negative spin, it is better to be seen as firm or tenacious.

Managing how others view you is an important life skill.  Recognizing when to drop something is a key part of this.  That does not necessarily mean acquiescence, but rather closing a topic in a way acceptable to everyone that is involved.

Often, to do this, you need to be able to recognize when it makes sense to just let it go.  When arguing or ongoing discussion is clearly just fostering continued disagreement it is likely time to shut it down.

Not Giving Up

It is important to distinguish between letting go and giving up.  These are very different approaches, albeit they can appear to have the same outcome.

Giving up will lead to personal baggage and potentially you will feel bad about yourself.  Letting go is about recognizing that hanging on is painful to you and getting nowhere.

Releasing the pent up emotion which is eating away at you for something that is unlikely to change can be resolved simply by accepting the way it is and moving on.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Clarity

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When communicating the qualities of transparency and coherence coupled with the intelligibility of message are critical to making a real impact.

The substantive power of the message is diminished if it is not clear.  The point must be comprehensible and the measure of clarity is whether the communication is understood.

Understanding

The intended meaning must be the same for both the sender and the recipient for understanding to have occurred.   Validation by asking questions to determine if the message was clear is a viable approach to checking for understanding, but not failsafe.

Even when probing open-ended questions are used, all parties to the communication could be fooled.  That is both you and them may be convinced the intended meaning was clear, however, at a later date gain surprising evidence that it actually was not.

Guiding Principles

Although following up to confirm clarity in communication is a best practice, it is not always practical, nor, as previously noted, foolproof.   The best approach is to for the communication to be founded on clarity.

Here are some simple principles to follow:

  • Keep it simple.  The audience, whether for a written or verbal communication, tends to tune out when bored or not read everything.
  • Keep their interest.  Tell the story in a straightforward way.  Focus on your audience and cater to their interests so they will stay tuned.  The storyteller has accountability for setting the context for active listening as much as the receiver.
  • Be direct. Use the active voice, that keeps others interest by leaving out extraneous, bureaucratic or potentially confusing points.  That is, get to the point.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Short and Sweet

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When communicating with others there is a lot of good things to be said about being brief but still complete, accurate and to the point. 

Over many years of practicing both written and verbal communication to small, medium and large audiences, I learned from feedback, short and sweet was best. 

Retention

If your intent is to for the audience to absorb the messages short and sweet is the way to go.  I have often heard other describe how a long monologue or book length explanation is needed. 

My response, as cynical as it may sound, is always, “Why to bother, most of your content will be wasted effort.”  Experience has made it clear to me, length rarely, probably never, adds clarity. 

Motivation

Length also is a great motivator to incent the reader to procrastinate.  How often have you followed up on a message you left and been told: “Saw it but didn’t have a chance to read or listen yet.”

Basically,  the message to you (which is short and sweet) translates to: “Your massive input is a bit overwhelming, I know I have to get to it but hopefully later rather than sooner.”  

Call to Action

 Every communication should have a purpose.  Broadly you can think of this as a call to action.  That is, what do you want the recipients to do.  This could range from do nothing beyond increasing knowledge and awareness, to a very specific measurable activity (e.g., buy the car).

Whether the call to action is physical and measurable or just an increased awareness understanding your intent and how you will confirm it was achieved are all part and parcel of the short and sweet communication strategy. 

Ultimately, over time, it is likely you will find much more success achieving your call to action when practicing short and sweet, than otherwise. 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Sharing

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Typically each of us is full of information.  Some are top secret, secret, confidential, restricted, official, unclassified, personal or public, to reference the more common classification levels.

Information classification is a tool to assist with determining what you can share and with whom.  Country secrecy laws and information privacy acts are in place to create consequences for inappropriate use of information.

Basically it is recognized that information is power (not my catch phrase) and the use of information (i.e., leveraging your power) should be regulated.

Need to know

What do others need to know and what will be the impact if they don’t know?  For me, rather than data classification, this is the guiding principle to determining when to disclose information.

Of course, legal ramifications and cultural considerations need to be taken into account, yet my personal experience is information held back causes more harm than it ever prevents.

As a general rule, it’s not possible to accurately gauge others need to know, and more importantly what will happen if they don’t know.  This leads me to be more likely to share openly as long as I am sure of conformance to ethical and legal constraints.

It’s a Power Play

Using my knowledge for personal gain (i.e., as a power tool) does not fit with my own personal philosophy.  My own experience has been positive in this regard.  Sharing what I know has been a far more effective influencing tool than hoarding and releasing the information strategically.

My advice, share openly, I think you will be pleasantly surprised by the positive results.