Tag Archives: communication

The World is my Oyster

I think many would be surprised at how large a number of English idioms have their source in the literary works of William Shakespeare.  A key driver of the longevity of these sayings is how cleverly constructed they are.

From the play ” The Merry Wives of Windsor” the lines,  “Why, then the world is my oyster,   Which I with sword will open. (2.2.3-4), Pistol to Falstaff”  have come to mean, I can do whatever I want in this world.

The use of an Oyster , from which, with a little effort, a pearl might be found is a very clever way to make this point.

Here is a brief list of some of the more well known sayings from Shakespeare’s works.  This is not a complete list, intended just to give a flavor of how prolific he was in this space.

  • A fools paridise
  • A foregone conclusion
  • A horse, a horse, my Kingdom for a horse
  • A sea change
  • A sorry sight
  • As dead as a doornail
  • At one fell swoop
  • Beware the ides of March
  • As pure as the driven snow
  • Et tu Brute
  • Fancy free
  • Eaten out of house and home
  • What a piece of work is man
  • Woe is me

I took this small sample from a list of 162 common sayings atributed to the Bard.  While I did not recognize all of them the majority struck me as very well known.

The beauty of these, as you can see from the examples, is how with just a few brief words, Shakespeare is able to create a clear and. compelling image which contains a strong, clear message.

And for me, a long and fruitful life awaits, the world is my oyster.

Maggies Farm

Nobel laureate Bob Dylan (for literature)  wrote a large number of songs during his career to date (which is not over) and continues to do so.

I heard “Maggies Farm” on the radio the other day.  For some reason I listened more closely to the lyrics than I had in the recent past and transported back to the nineteen sixties (in my mind at least).

This is a basic protest song.  The line ” I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more” sets the tone.  We are done working for the man, being driven by the esablishment.

Simply put, I ain’t going to take it no more.  Full stop.  Ah the idealism.   of youth.  I won’t say I have grown jaded but while the lyrics are still a interesting listen  (great song) the sentiment and protest value is somewhat lost on me.

Deserving of the Nobel Prize?

I was struck by the quality of the music, both lyrics and melody.  Bob Dylan has done a fantastic job of story telling throughout his life so far, whether sentimental, political or just a intriguing story I do believe the recently awared prize was fully desderved.

More interesting for me though is how my appreciation of his music seems to have grown. (I have been listening to a number of his albums again over the last several months.)

Am I influenced by the publicity and accolades he has been recieving as of late or are my musical tastes maturing?  Historically I appreciated Dylan’s music but would never have classified myself a big fan.

I think it’s probably a bit of both, regardless, I am enjoying my morphing musical tastes albeit they still seem rooted in the decades of the sixties and seventies.

Exploring Integrity

Integrity is defined as the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Morale principles are defined as the principles of right and wrong that are accepted by an individual or a social group.  The practice of honesty lies in a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way.

Put it together, What does it mean?

Determining if someones behaviour is honest can be a relatively objective measure.   In most cases, an act of lying, stealing or deceiving  are agreed by consensus.

That is, a randomly selected group would most likely easily achieve consensus and agree that a lie, theft or deceit occurred.

However, that is  not necessarily the case relative to identification of the perpretrator of said action, which is why we have our court/trial system, to enable the fair judgement of guilt.

For moral behaviour it is a very objective judgement, that can be individual or group specific,  as to what constitutes moral behaviour. This makes determination of whether an action was moral very difficult.

How can I be sure to act with integrity?

While honesty can be determined with little debate, this is not the case when it comes to qualifying what constitutes moral behaviour. This can create a dilemma when you want to act with integrity.

The question arises, what does it mean to be moral?   I recently participated in a discussion with that question at it’s center.  Basically, “I want to do this action, but is it ethical?”

Unfortunately the determination of ethicality contained a large subjective component around the moral correctness, not the truthfulness.

In these cases, my own approach is to apply my personal philosophy for the way to live your life.  The action is okay and ethical as long as it gives me pleasure while not detracting from the pleasure of others.

 

Changing Approach

Sometimes we get stuck on a path .  Our personal values and experiences drive our behaviours and changing course can be one of the most difficult tasks you will encounter.

A foundational trait of strong leaders is the practice of empathy.  This is not simply the ability to understand and share the feelings of others but in the context of leadership it is the ability to leverage that understanding.  To change approach accordingly.

Collaborating

Your own preconceived understanding of how to act is often very difficult to alter but doing so has a high likelyhood of leading to the best path to achieving a goal.

Recognizing the wants and needs of others, understanding how they are feeling and using your analysis of this information together with your own thoughts will most likely result in better outcomes.

My Way

Practicing empathy requires openness on your part.  That is receptivity to others ideas and ways of thinking.  Ultimately the key value to this approach is the ability to accept that your way is not neccessarily always the best.

Your Way

Acceptance that other better approaches exist is fundemental to creating a culture of openness.  The result will be higher group performance as the strengths and weaknesses of everyone are blended together.

It is an old saying, but carries a lot of wisdom, “the sum of the whole is far more powerful than each of the individual parts alone”.

 

 

Making Mistakes

When your action or judgment is misguided or wrong we call that a mistake.  Regardless of the magnitude or visibility, acting or deciding wrongly is a mistake.

Of course, the outcomes and consequences of the mistake might not be in accordance with the type or level of the error.  That is to say a small error could have serious consequences.

And the Oscar goes to……..

Last Sunday was an obvious case where a small slip has disasterous results.  A accountant who works for PWC (Price Waterhouse Coopers) gave the wrong envelope to Warren Beatty on Sunday.

This minor slip resulted in the wrong movie being given the best picture Oscar for a brief two and a half minutes.  More than long enough to create a massive, even monumental fuss.

Fate Intervenes

Warren got the wrong envelope with the wrong contents and under usual circumstances, you would expect he would recognize the winners card was incorrect and stop the train before the crash.

To be fair, Mr. Beatty is 79 and was slowly working through his mind  the puzzle of the strange winners card .  Faye Dunaway, his co star in the 1968 Oscar Best Picture nominated movie “Bonnie and Clyde” , was the co-presenter.

Unfortunately, the relationship between Faye and Warren was a little acromonious.  In particular she is known to have little patience with his slow considered approach.

So Faye, loosing patience with Warrens slow progress, snapped the card from Warren , glanced at it, and read the wrong winner.  And so the error that began with the wrong envelope was exposed.

Fortunately!

In this case the impact is large but certainly not irrepairable, after all  the winning movie was recognized.

I am a little sad for the PWC accountant who will probably bear the brunt of consequences  but really to some extent was only a victim of circumstance.

Adversarial Conduct

Adversarial discussions are characterized by conflict or opposition and lurking  beneath the covers, probably some hostility.  Too often, these conversations stem from assumptions of intention.

It may start with some innocent questions for clarification.  The other stakeholder assumes you are against what they are trying to achieve and the adversarial dance begins.

Sadly!

A simple misinterpretation of intentions can derail a potential productive interaction which should have gold at the end of the rainbow.  Even clarifying intentions often won’t put it back on track.

Sadly this type of behavior occurs regularly in most organizations.  It is of course exacerbated by cultural bias, but it is not unusual to see the dance occur, regardless of culture.

To my amusement, often I observe  those who are actually in violent agreement (based on what they are saying) but appear to be just the opposite (i.e., violent disagreement).

Just Listen

The root cause of this type of adversarial discussions lies with  misunderstood intentions.  These stem from listening skills.  That is not just hearing the words but rather the message.

For me as I watch the head butting, or even when I am the object of head butting it never ceases to amaze how agreement is manipulated into disagreement.

Don’t Get Hooked

The way out of these situations is to ensure you are not “hooked” by the others.  That is often the intention of the other party.  They believe if they can just get the hook firmly embedded in your throat they can hall you in.

Unfortunately the result is usually dissatisfaction to all which is of course really unfortunate since the whole situation was actually on the brink of a great collaboration.

Ah, to behave like a human – we are just animals after all.

 

 

What would you Do?

Yesterdays post was about two key measures used to identify leaders.  Intellectual skills and behaviour skills.  These two measures have been labled EQ and IQ.

In essence these measures are just predictors of how a person will behave.  That is, what would you do if…..?

How it works

For example if you saw an obnoxious drunk bother patrons in a public place you would:

  1. call security
  2. confront the drunk
  3. ignore the situation
  4. gather more data before deciding what to do
  5. leave

Persons with behaviour characteristics high in empathy or motivation would most likely take action 1 or 2.  Intellectually focused would take 4 or possibly 5 ( depending on the results of 4.  )

Those with average or low leadership tendencies probably go with the default.   Do nothing.

Many psychology experments have been conducted using tests to acertain IQ and EQ and then used scenarios to determine what the testee’s do.  In some cases rather than scenarios some of these studies used past behaviours.

Consistently, the behaviour you would expect intuitively based on the IQ and EQ measures  (  like the example above) was confirmed.

Think about it

A very powerful technique for improving your EQ  consists of walking yourself through significant scenarios you participated in over the last month and remembering how you behaved.

Were your objectives met.  Or if met was it efficient and pleasant?  What EQ characteristic behaviours could you have used for a better result.  Did others consider your actions kindly and effective?

Use the outcomes from these key experiences to drive improvement in the way you behave.  That is identifying what could be down better and what personal behaviours you need to change for that to become reality.

You can be a great leader, make it so.

Emotional Intelligence

Today I got into a discussion with some colleagues about leadership behaviours.  The question arose what is more important for a leader, a high IQ (i.e., smart) or strong ability to interact with others (i.e., charismatic)

In his 1995 milestone book, American pyschologist Daniel Goleman proposed that while IQ probably represented the price of entry for great leaders(you needed at least some minimum IQ to succeed)  more important and a key determiner of success  was how you behaved.

He labled the measure of this ability to interract with others your emotional intelligence (EQ).  Goldman also developed a framework of five elements that can be measured to define your level of emotional intelligence.

An interesting side to this is the belief EQ can be developed and improved while many believe your IQ is what you were born with and cannot be developed.

Goldmans EI model has a great following in the by organizations around the world and has been adopted in various iterations by many companies.

Goldmans 5 Characteristics

Below are drastically  edited versions of Goldman’s 5 behavioural characteristics (for simplicity) taken from this website.  This just to give a flavour of what he considered behaviours that contributed to a high EQ..  For me, a high EQ equals a powerful and effective leader.

1) Self-Awareness – Self-aware people understand their emotions, and because of this, they don’t let their feelings rule them. They’re confident – because they trust their intuition and don’t let their emotions get out of control.  Many people believe that this self-awareness is the most important part of EI.

2) Self-Regulation – This is the ability to control emotions.  People who self-regulate typically don’t allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don’t make impulsive, careless decisions.
3) Motivation – Motivated people are willing to defer immediate results for long-term success. They’re highly productive, love a challenge, and are very effective in whatever they do.
4) Empathy – This is the second-most important behaviour. Simply put, it is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around you.
5) Social Skills – Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Rather than focus on their own success first, they help others develop and shine.

Curious What Your EQ is?

There are numerous EQ test available on the internet that will provide you with an estimationof your EQ and an idea of areas you might to focus on to improve your EQ and so your leadership capability.

Right or Wrong?

In the context of taking an action, that is making a decision or choice and acting on it, how can you determine if it was right (a good choice) or wrong ( a bad choice).

Feedback recieved during the decision making process can help.  Of course, results from  multiple sources can lead to a variety of input both postive and negative. Confusion reigns.

The goal should be to focus on objective feedback based on tangible metrics, things you can definitively measure.  This requires a clear statement of outcomes.

Strategic or Tactical Time Frames

Analysis can be complicated by point in time outcomes.  Is it about short, medium or long term.  Or even all three or a combination thereof.

Further complicating determination of right or wrong can be underlying moral or value based considerations associated with the decisions results.

For Example

In 1948 the Russians decided to block the Western allies tranportation access to west Berlin, thus starving and otherwise inconveniencing the western allies (and the general population) such that they would decamp and leave Berlin under complete Russian control.

For the Russians this was a moral and just decision.  Not so much for the Western allies.  Was the decision right or wrong?   At the time the answer to this question depended somewhat on where you lived, your politics and values.

Should the US restrict visitors and immigrants from selected predominantly muslim countries? is it right or wrong, can it be justified?

My own opinion is this action is both wrong and unsupportable.  However, there are those with a contrary powerful argument.   Perhaps the best way is respectful dialogue.  Maybe we can figure it out.

Or maybe, as occured in the case of the Berlin blockade, one side figures out how to overcome the other.  Guess who stayed in Berlin without starving.

I am Insulted

Years ago,  I decided to share with others in a meeting or just a conversation,  when I felt insulted.  Not in an emotional way but simply as a calm information share.

Sometimes, how you decide to feel about a particular behaviour or feedback seems really clear to you, others might not see it that way.  You choose how to feel, the things going on around you drive these feelings.

Open but respectfull communication is an key underpinning of collaborative behaviour.   What you might deem as disrespectful or insulting might actually be viewed by others as prima donna behaviour on your part.

Get the facts, Share the facts

While your perspective of events can certainly differ from others a reconciliation of perspectives ( i.e., the way the facts are interpreted by each stakeholder) will never occur without a sharing of those perspectives.

While my way or the highway can be self satisfying it’s probably not a good way to win friends and influence people ( to coin a phrase well promoted by the Dale Carnegie Institute) .

What Happens?

As noted I have been using this technique for many years and found it to consistently lead to positive outcomes.  Potential tense interactions are diffused and misunderstandings (tons of those) are at a minimum understood, if not resolved.

Like most things balance is needed when sharing how you feel and if not done with consideration to the atmosphere and context of any given situation it can backfire.

However, executed carefully, the results can be very positve, both in the moment and in the long term (many relationships cover more than fleeting moments.)