Tag Archives: acting

Oh Behave

To be a living human being means every moment involves some action. This may be passive (e.g., breathing) or active (e.g., speaking to someone) or all points between.

The point is that we are always behaving, that is acting in response to a particular situation or stimulus. Our behavior defines us. How your behavior is interpreted in the eyes of others is key to who you are.

Self Awareness

The way you view your own behavior, your motivation and rationale for what you do, is a key to self actualization but understanding how others perceive your actions is also critical.

For me, being self aware encompasses the ability to adapt your behavior for maximum personal pleasure within the context of other peoples views of your actions.

Although it may sound simple, behaving within the context “it’s all about me” while giving full credence to not impinging on the needs of others is actually a very difficult and complex activity.

Execution

The conundrum is being true to yourself while adhering to the views of others; views which can often be diametrically opposed to your own.

The ability to behave with a goal to make both yourself and everyone else happy – pleasure to all – is the underpinning of success. Our heroes and those we admire most can typically be (though not exclusively) both self centered and philanthropic (they love all people).

Self awareness starts with consciously paying attention to both how you are behaving at any given moment and how others are reacting to it. This is the easy part.

Deciding how to behave in a way that does not compromise your personality (your go to behaviors) while meeting the needs of others, now that is the tricky part.

What should I do?

The best time to ponder what to do is not when in the midst of the action.   Urgency can impact the quality of decisions.  Determining what to do in a calm and reasoned way is more likely to be successful.

While it is not always possible, figuring out what to do well before you plan to do it is by far more satisfying and more importantly less stressful.

It’s a Pattern

The first question should not be what to to do but rather about the objectives.  This does not have to be specific or detailed but rather directional, where are you going?

It is a simplistic thought, but if you don’t know where you are going you have no way of knowing when you have arrived.  Put another way it is critical to understand what done looks like.

So the pattern to follow is to first set set the direction then ask what should I do?  The question is taken in the context of where you are and where you are going.

React to Circumstance

Of course in reality the unexpected can occur at any time so you don’t want to be locked into a firm course based on where you are going.  You do need to be ready to adjust and ask  what should I do now?

The principle of what done looks like should be adhered to.  This will enable you to put the unexpected into context and changing course will be less stressful than if based on a complete surprise.

 

Knowledge

Each day we gather facts and information.  Every moment lived exposes information to you and builds your knowledge base.

This information, including with the skills acquired through experience and formal or informal education,enables you to develop a theoretical or practical understanding of any subject (depending on the data, information, experience, and training you are able to acquire.

Use your knowledge

The knowledge you gain becomes  most useful through understanding  and being aware of and embracing with this information of a fact or situation.

To phrase it an other way having  knowledge is of little value if you don’t use it.  Treating knowledge like buried treasure is of little value.  If not accessed and employed purposefully the knowledge you have is wasted.

Share

You should both aquire and employ knowledge to the full extent possible. Having knowledge has the potential for positive outcomes, of course the potential for misuse does exist as well.

Using your knowlwdge will lead to success but abusing it will not.  Keeping knowledge to yourself is a form of abuse.  Sharing increases both the power of your knowledge, you share others share and voila, more is known.

Holding your knowledge tight to your chest is less likely to benefit both you and others.  Being altruistic in this case is not as much selfless as it is a way to gather more knowlege.

The more you know themore likely you are to succeed.

 

Conscious Thought

Conscious thought requires more effort than unconcious thought.  It is theorized that one possible cause of autism is a persons inability to think unconciously.

While most people can behave in an autonomic  way for many routine actions it’s thought those inflicted with autism have to think through eveything in a conscious way.

The danger of Unconcious thought

In theory, being able to rely on predefined soltions to external behavioural clues allows us to focus on the important things directly and conciously.

Those things that require analysis and thought to arrive at informed conclusions, and subsequently, leading to  appropriate behaviour are best handled consciously.

Think about the scenario first thing in the morning.  You begin to encounter other people and mainly great them with a “good morning”.

This is a typical sub conscious behaviour.  Somewhere in your store of unconscious behaviours is a routine grreeting to use in the morning even when it is not reflective of reality.

How often have you muttered good morning to others when in reality for you it was anything but.  People with autism will usually think consciously what their morning  greeting should be and then say it.  Many of us find this disconcerting.

And so that highlights both the benefit and danger of unconscious autonomic behaviours.  They may not really be appropriate because they are based on a pre-defined action and so they could be off putting to some or result in truly inappropriate behaviour.

Of course acting conciously when a routine action is expected could be unnerving as well.  On the whole though acting consciously is more likely to be both supportable (you had a well thought out reason) and the outcomes will often be better.