Tag Archives: self assessment

Confidence

Self confidence is the belief you can rely on yourself.  The level of your own self trust is reflected by your behaviour. 

Intrinsically, we all have firm trust in ourselves but it can be eroded over time through the influence of environmental circumstances.

Believe

It is very important to take accountability for your self trust.  Personal confidence is yours to own and manage and yours alone. 

This does not mean you should be unaware or heedful of feedback and signals from others either verbally or through actions. 

The key point is to remember is this is your life and while your actions should not be taken with an unwavering conviction that you are right, neither should you bow to others unless the rationale is strong. 

Be Firm, Not Stubborn

Personal confidence is not about charging head first like a bull, challenging all around you and portraying a high level of firm self trust. 

It does empower you to be firm in your beliefs not to the extent of stubbornness but rather to the level of fair judgement.

Be aware of your surroundings but trust in your ability to judge fairly the best path to follow.  Firmness is articulated through reasoned analysis not forceful action.  

Rely on Yourself

The most important message associated with self confidence is the belief that everyone is important, that includes you. 

What do people think about you

Your reputation is basically what others think about you.  Over the last couple of posts my key postulate has been about the value of  managing your reputation (in marketing terms, your brand).

The basic framework for personal reputation management is to first understand what you want your reputation to be, then what it is and finally craft a plan to either maintain it or change it.

Maintaining,changing or a combination, is both audience and current state dependent.  The key here is to not submit and hope but to be proactive.

So, what is my reputation?

Asking others this question directly usually does not work.  Most people are conscious of thier own reputation and treat the question more as an opportunity to advance their own agenda.

The best way is anonymous surveys overseen by an independent party that does not know you and has research based experience to craft and interpret insightful questions.

The internet offers a variety of options for this kind of service from free to costly and of course their are many consulting agencies you can pay to do this for you ( of varying quality).

Observation

Independent feedback is not always practical or feasible.  Do not give up, personal observation is a tool that can be just as effective.

This entails activities like:

  • watching  how people behave around you or in context of activities you are involved in.  Peoples body language and they things they do and say in the normal course can be very telling.
  • indirect probing about things that appear to be about something else. ( e.g., How are you enjoying this project?) As a project participant you can leverage the reponses as indicative of your own reputation.
  • gently guide various people you interract with to share what they hear others saying about you, albeit indirectly.

In short observe how people behave relative to things you have involment in and course directly toward you.  Don’t be superficial in your self assessment.  Think deeply.

The past is better

We humans have a very interesting ability to transform reality to fit our conclusions.  This is a form of bias and a well studied and documented behaviour.

I’ve Never Seen it this Bad

An interesting variation on this  natural occurence of bias is the way we can reimagine the past as being far better than the future.  I wonder about comments like “ I ‘ve never experienced service this bad”

Or, “The leadership here is very confusing relative to my previous experiences”.  These statements are subjective in nature but also in and of themselves, self justifying interpretations of the current experience.

In reality, most people experience good and bad behaviours (e.g., service, leadership, relationships) throughout their lives.  Comparison with the past is a great rationalization technique, but is it accurate?

Danger!

A word of caution about justifying conclusions without independent confirmation.  Your interrpretations of inadequacies within your current circumstances might not be as bad as you think, or maybe even not what you think at all.

Your conclusions will influence your own behaviour, but like all actions derived from some form of bias the results could backfire on you.

The past is not necessarily as you remember it.  Years of maturing can mould memories.  Coupled with the conclusion bias ( i.e., what you want it to be, but maybe not what actually is) there is a risk these memories will influence you to act in ways you might regret.

Often discussion with others is all that is needed to help reshape the past to more closely resemble events as they happened.