Tag Archives: confidence

I think I can.

A childhood story book that still resonates strongly with me today was “The Little Engine that Could” by Watty Piper.  A simple story of how obstacles can be overcome through the power of positive thinking.

The little steam engine of the story starts off being unable to pull the train up the hill.  Motivated by positive thinking ranging from I think I can, morphing to I know I can  results in success.

Persistence will be Rewarded

The moral of the story is not to give up even if success takes time and multiple attempts.  You can do it.  Of course this not always true, but by being persistent you will at least get you as far as you can go.

About six months ago I decided to implement secure socket layer (ssl) security for this website.   While it may sound simple, this was not the case.

My journey to Security

SSL enables viewers of the website to be sure of the owner and data transfers to and from the site are encrypted to ensure the information transferred cannot be intercepted.

To do this the web server needs to be certified by a trusted third party.  There are a number of ways to do this.  To make a long story short, six months ago I chose the simplest method and thus began my journey of persistence.

As is so often the case with technology the unexpected rears its ugly head and what should have been simple led me down a long path of encountering and resolving unplanned difficulties, lots of them.

However, finally I prevailed and not only is this site now accessed through https (i.e., ssl) my mail server is now a separate sub- domain (best practice) and all are using a content delivery network (Cdn)  called cloud-flare.

Persistence paid off, I can and did do it.

Love Yourself

Some people show an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves and their physical appearance.  When this is the focus of their lives it can be deemed a sociopathic personality disorder.

Narcissistic behavior can vary from mild to excessive.  Like many things too much is not good but a little love for yourself, when measured and balanced is beneficial, in fact, healthy for you.

Being Comfortable in Your Skin

Confidence is a positive behavior, we are encouraged to exhibit.  When it begins to bridge on arrogance it is viewed as a bad and the further extreme of narcissism can be considered a personality disorder.

Maintaining balance in our behavior is key to creating positive perceptions of ourselves.  There is nothing wrong with being very happy with how you are (in fact it is a good thing).

One path to a happy and long life is being contented with who you are.  However,  taken to an extreme, loving yourself to the extent of all else is not good for you or others.

It’s About You – Sort of

The most important thing in your life is how you feel.  That is not to say it is “about you”  exclusively but rather about your joy and happiness.  Interacting with others and how they interact with you is a key part of this.

Intuitively paying attention to social norms is important so while being confident and strongly believe in yourself, pushing these traits to the point of narcissism is harmful not only to others but to you as well.

The backlash toward narcissistic behavior might not get through your shell but it will limit your ability to move forward and truly enjoy all life has to offer.

 

Being who you want to be

Imagining what you want to be is how you become what you are.  A colleague lamented to me, “if only it was that easy”.  Arguably, it depends on the interpretation.

Reasonability

If you imagine being a prince or princess with great wealth and respect, in a literal sense, there is a high risk you will not become that. Figuratively speaking, maybe you can.

Imagining things that are in the realm of the possible (reasonable expectations, albeit they may be stretch goals) is a technique which supports the achievement of the goal.

Imagining the end point does not need to be exact.  For example if you imagine yourself a world class athlete, stepping up to the podium for your gold medal, taken-in the figurative sense, that is to be a successful athlete, your imagination can be a valuable guide.

Seeing, Acting, Achieving

Visualizing your success, even if an exaggerated version of it, helps you believe it is possible.  Confidence based on belief begins in your brain.

The caution of course is not to become overconfident,  but rather leverage the imagination as a guide, not as an absolute.  Striving for excellence in your mind is a beginning, ultimately though you do need to focus on the possible.

Imagine what you want to be, then become what you imagine within the constrants of reality.  This is not dreaming, rather it is a practicle approach to goal setting.

 

 

Appetite for Risk

There are many behavioral attributes that have been identified as key leadership skills.  Often overlooked is the willingness to accept risks, albeit, not recklessly.

Sometimes the situation is bereft of information neededto assist in making an informed decision.  In these cases the critical balance leaders need to be able to navigate is between expedience and caution.

Intrinsic Risk

All activities have some risk associated with them.  That is some level of exposure to danger, harm or loss.  The level of exposure can vary widely but it is always present, there is no zero risk when it comes to deciding how to proceed.

For example, If you decide to cross a low  traffic road in clear weather with visibility for miles in both directions, there is still a risk (however small)  a car will appear and hit you resulting in your death.

The motivating factors, why is the decision before you in the first place should be the main drivers but the risk averse will often focus on the potential negatives resulting in delay and potentially causing the decision to never be made.

Balance on the Fly

The best leaders are able to quickly determine if delay is appropriate for reasons of insufficient data or lack of urgency or major risk or if accepting the risk balanced against the potential benefits is the best approach.

This ability to weigh the options in short order contributes to a leaders reputation.  Their track record in this regard builds both respect and confidence among those they interface with.

 

Why me?

Confidence is a critical skill for those that aspire to be exceptional leaders.  That is not to say with a high level of confidence you will be a great leader, other behavioural skills are needed.

However, the ability to practice confidence with an optimal balance to other leadership attributes is a foundational behaviour without which you can never achieve greatness.

Believe

Ask not “why me”, rather accept, analyze and trust your ability to rely on yourself to succeed.  Each of us have the capability to achieve our goals.

For the individual,  a key first step to positive results is full confidence in yourself.  If you don’t believe in yourself or your abilities others will sense it.

Without confidence your leadership capabilities (no matter how well developed) cannot be effectively utilized as others sense the indecision and question your leadership.

Arrogance

To be effective confidence must not be interpreted by others as conceit, pride. self importance, egotism, etc.  While demonstrating  confidence is crtical skill for leaders it must be done in a balanced way.

The use of self awareness skills to ensure the behaviour is not negatively interpreted is needed otherwise the effect can be more detrimental and thus lead to negative results.

Why Not Me?

Ultimately, in any set of circumstances the  best mental approach to start with is “why not me” as opposed to why me.  This simple shift in thinking moves you from insecurity to confidence and can make a huge difference in defining your leadership abilities.