Tag Archives: isolation

Stand Alone

Poet John Donne observed, “No man is an island”.  Today this is probably more politically correctly stated as no person is an island. Regardless the sentiment is accurate, humans are a social animal.

Sometimes we prefer to live on a virtual island of our choice from time to time.  This particularly applies to those with personalities leaning toward the introverted.

Balance your isolation

Choosing moments of isolation is best for yourself and often and can be best for those around you; However, if not carefully balanced and practiced in the situational context you could frustrate others.

If people think you are ignoring them or being aloof at times when this not appropriate (i.e., they expect you to be engaged) you might be viewed in a negative light.

The key is determining the context of the situation before wandering off to your island forsaking humanity for long enough to recharge.  Think it through, will your period of isolation disaffect others, probably something to be avoided.

Don’t Overstay

Time spent on your personal virtual island can be relaxing and fulfilling.    For some, it is a preferred location.  It’s important to remember we (humans) are inherently a social animal and staying on the island too long is not a good plan.

As Donne observed we are members of a group whether we like it or not and participation is really not optional.  We need others and they need us.

Balancing alone time with people time is a critical skill in managing and ensuring you maintain an even keel and maximize your life happiness and enjoyment.

 

 

Listening to Others

Meyer’s Briggs theory of personality types is founded on the baseline level of your tendency toward introversion or extroversion, and all points between.

If you are an introvert the biggest risk to your happiness involves listening to other people.  For extroverts, the opposite is true.  Socializing often involves two-way communication and for many introverts, these exchanges are full of action requests or complaints.

What Risk

Extroverts want to get involved and thoroughly enjoy the exchanges.  Listening is the doorway for them to interact and they welcome it.

For introverts,  listening represents a risk of creating the need for an outward interaction.  Being inward focused, based on their own mood and feelings, actively reacting to others is a chore.

This is not intended to impinge on others needs or their right to pontificate, it simply means the introvert does not desire to be part of it.

Playing Nice

Being culturally compliant while interacting with others requires effort.  Introverts, by their very nature, typically expend more energy on interpersonal interactions than extroverts.

Playing nice is hard for the introvert.  They strongly feel the need to conform to social norms but prefer introspection and so find it a lot of work to “be on”.

On the other hand, extroverts do not feel an overt concern for correct behavior and like the hyperactive child you sometimes wonder “Where is the off switch?”

Diversity

Fortunately, the diversity created by divergent personality traits – for example, introversion and extroversion are beneficial to everyone.

It is the diversity of personal behavior that makes it interesting for all.  Sameness leads to boredom, neither introverts nor extroverts are better and both add great value to the human continuum.