Tag Archives: thoughtfull approach

Respect

Building on the personal value “Everyone is Important” it is natural to both act with a feeling of deep admiration for others based on their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Respectful behavior is how we expect others to interact with us and it is reasonable to consider we would do the same for them.  It also fully supports the tenant that our differences are important and should be embraced/leveraged.  

Balance Respect and Action

On a bit of a contrary note (contrary to the aforementioned value), it is possible if you treat others with respect they will walk all over you.   In this case caution may be needed. 

This is not to imply we should not be respectful to others in principle, that is to recognize, accept and to some degree admire their capability. 

Rather it is just a caution about intensity. Some may abuse respectful behavior and others actually respond better because they appreciate the forceful direction that disregards them to some extent.  (Sometimes it is just easier to accept, agree and move on)

Polite but Firm

In some cases your objectives require more directness and less repect for the others but this does not mean rudeness is either a valid or acceptable approach.

Some belief just being polite is respectful so in a sense polite and firm avoids you being a door mat but also can be considered a respectful format.

In the context of this post respect to others is much more than politeness and can open you to being walked on but this does not mean polite behaviour should also be cast aside. 

Acting too Quickly

Sometime our reaction to dissatisfying events or others negative actions or perceived attacks can be strong and heavily laden with emotion.  In these cases acting precipitously can lead to undesirable results.

Initial reactions are valid and can be useful in the moment but whenever possible a pause to reflect before taking action is a prudent risk management approach.

What Risk?

If your position is iron clad and your reaction appropriate the risk of adverse impacts is lowered;  However, the reality is our subjective assessment usually comes first and objective analysis requires a little more time and consideration.

Just in case your emotions are driving a subjective perspective of the event or other persons behavior, taking a moment  (even hours or days depending on the complexity) to make sure your response will lead to the outcome you seek is well worth the effort. 

This is really just basic risk management.  That is, there is a very real risk whatever you do (from nothing to a furious proclamation) will exacerbate and escalate the problem.

Suck it up

Some times you have unquestionably been wronged.  In these cases forcefully and clearly stating your position and expectations can be a valid approach.

Unfortunately, the other party or stakeholders might not hold the same perspective and your forthrightness could prolong the path to an acceptable solution (acceptable to you) or even deter it entirely.

It may not be as emotionally satisfying but in some cases it just makes sense to suck up your self righteousness plan an approach that is more likely to achieve what you seek, even if it offends your sensibilities a bit. 

After all what is more important a brief moment of emotional satisfaction of attaining your objective.