Tag Archives: attitude

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Choose Happiness

Leave a comment

Sometimes I envy my friends and colleagues who are always in a bouncy and up mood whenever I encounter them.  Thinking about it though I realize they probably do not have anything that I don’t.

I understand intuitively and logically that they take pleasure in all they do and so their life is filled with joy.  It is just a choice and probably a simple one at that.  But everyone does not choose that path.

Simple but Complex

Choosing pleasure over pain, deciding it only makes sense to find the joy in everything, and behave accordingly does not seem to be the kind of thing rocket science is needed to figure out.

Yet, I find it requires effort to be happy.  Doubt, fear, worry to name just a few of the less desirable emotions seems to occur even when not desired.

This is not just a personal observation but widespread among people I regularly interact with.  It is too rare and always enjoyable to run into someone who has chosen happiness and joy.  You want to talk to them, the good feelings are contagious.

It would appear simple to choose to be in a constant state of pleasure yet, surprisingly, that does not appear to be the case for most folks.

Perspective

Each of us can choose our own particular attitude toward anything.  Our way regarding something, that is a point of view.  This is of course influenced by our environment and other people.

We need to work hard to choose the best perspective, perhaps the optimistic joyful view, when pitted against many obstacles.  This is why even though it is the logical choice we do not always choose a happy perspective.

The key is to pause and remember regardless of the circumstances, it is your choice.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Believe

Leave a comment

Can you feel sure that something is true and doing so makes it true? That is, could belief become reality simply because you choose to make it so?

This is probably a stretch.  Making the impossible become possible is not a magical activity that is accomplished by a sweep of the wand.  However, attempting to elicit a change without believing it possible reduces the chance of success.

Trust in Yourself

Being sure something is true arises from a firm belief in your own judgment.  How you view your own reliability governs the strength of your belief and the intrinsic power of it.

Proceeding on the basis of blind faith can be risky and trusting in yourself without paying attention to reality could not only fail but also lead to negative consequences.

Self Doubt

It does make sense to temper your self-trust with a dose of doubt and some cynicism.   The trick is not to let self-doubt become the overriding factor in your decisions.

Doubt should be based on objective analysis to the greatest extent possible.  That is, where it makes sense to question whether something is true or whether you are able to make it true, this is best based on the supposition that is supported by some facts.

Accent the Positive

Having a strong belief and letting that drive your outcomes is really just a way to accent the positive.  Focus on the positive is far more likely to drive achievement of what you seek.

And for those that were wondering, this message of positivity is not brought to you by fox news.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Attitude

Leave a comment

Your personal behavior is largely driven by your attitude.  That is your core perspective, what you think and feel about things.  A positive attitude is can drive success.

By focusing on the positive, understanding and believing what you desire is within your grasp, you are more likely to attain altitude and soar. (Positive attitude will result in altitude).

You don’t need drugs or other artificial stimulants to get high.  The right attitude can take you there all on your own.

Perception Matters

The classic example of attitude is illustrated through the description of the glass that contains water to its mid-point.   Some respond the glass is half-empty (a pessimistic attitude). While others view the glass as half-full (an optimistic attitude).

To stretch the metaphor, our attitude toward the glass will influence our subsequent behavior.  The pessimistic view might lead you to sip the remaining contents slowly and drink them slowly over time.

The optimistic person will likely drink fully and quickly expecting additional supplies to arrive when needed.

With Caution

A positive attitude will most certainly include a dose of optimism.  Sometimes blindly believing in a positive outcome can be helpful but there is a risk optimism that could lead you to be careless and open to consequences.

A balance of appropriate caution well still believing positive results can be achieved is better than wild uncontrollable belief that you cannot fail.

A carefully tempered but largely positive attitude will always outweigh a negative and pessimistic approach but a small amount of doubt can be useful in preventing calamities.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Full Steam Ahead

Leave a comment

Do life’s challenges and concerns end by the time you reach old age (say 65, 75)?  Is it easier when you are older than when you are young and constantly struggling with stress from worrying about what is next?

This is a strange way to look at it.  Life can be just as sweet and fulfilling no matter how many birthdays you have had.  The daily challenges, stress and joy we experience only end when we are dead.

Sweet Failure

Whether you are 12 or 80, living is made up of challenges and successes and these are the things worth continuing to live for.

There is no age in which life’s failure to be sweet at any given point in time is not painful but likewise the enjoyment of success gives pleasure.

Age and experience may well result in changing perspectives but we don’t stop living fully just because we are getting older.  It is not easier to cope with age because you have done it all, it is just different.

Purpose

The most important aspect of any life at any age is purpose.  Believing you have a purpose, a raison d’être, is really the only basic requirement to living a long life of great enjoyment, decade after decade.

Whatever age you are it is critical for you to believe they are all worthwhile.  Anticipate the enjoyment coming with age.  The end of your life does not occur until death.

Up to that point cherish and enjoy every moment, they will not be repeated.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Believe

Leave a comment

Believe in yourself basically demands you have trust and confidence in your abilities.  You know the truth is what you think and feel.  Personal greatness is founded on belief.

Overconfidence can cause issues.  Typically this is related to a belief which is not founded in fact.   However, believing in yourself for things that are realistic and achievable is both motivational and directive.

I think I can

“The Engine that Could” is a children’s story that highlights the power of positive thinking.  A small steam engine is challenged to carry a load up a steep hill.  Chanting “I think I can” which morphs into “I know I can” ultimately the engine makes it up to the top of the hill.

Believing you can does not always mean you will be to achieve your goal, but it helps.  When you have confidence you will give it a try, otherwise, you might just give up (it’s too hard).

Bringing Others Along

Confidence can be contagious.    Others are affected by your attitude.  Believing in yourself helps you move ahead but often it will enable you to get help.

A cautionary note.  Others quickly recognize overconfidence.  This can be as effective repealing others as believable confidence can be in attracting support.

Lack of confidence, like overconfidence, is always an excellent way to find yourself alone on the island.  It is important to not only reflect the fact you believe in yourself and your capabilities but you must also demonstrate this through your behaviour.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

There is a way

Leave a comment

If the path to your goal is blocked, seek other ways.  Philosophically, I sometimes muse on the fact whether anything is possible.  The answer always seems to be in the interpretation.

For example, while I cannot walk on the water of a lake if I build a hidden underwater catwalk I could look like I was walking on water, although certainly not in the biblical sense.

Effort and Duration

With unlimited effort and duration possibly any goal is attainable however realistically could I avoid death regardless of how much time and effort was involved?

Taxes maybe.

To some extent the limitation to overcoming blockages lie in your mind.  For  example the train in  “The Little Engine that Could” (a popular childrens story) accomplished the impossible task only when it thought it could.

Make the Attempt

For me the key is not having an absolute believe in success, maybe I cannot do everything; However,  making the attempt only requires attitude and that is something completely in my control.

This is not to say your attitude should be without constraint, obviously attempting anything could have some negative concequences.

The point is more; don’t not try to find a way to overcome a blockage for fear of failure, rather take this approach when the risk of concequence is too great.

So can I do anything?  The jury is out,  but I am pretty sure I can make the attempt if motivated to do so.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Enjoyment

Leave a comment

Taking pleasure in things leads to enjoyment.  On of my own personal goals is to be in a constant state of enjoyment.  From a practical perspective pleasure can be subjective to a degree (although for the majority there is general consistency about what leads to enjoyment).

This does not mean opportunities for enjoyment are constantly available to everyone, it just might vary.

The Bottom Line

The practice of enjoyment, taking pleasure in things, is a choice.  Simply put, you can control whether you are in a state of enjoyment. It is afterall about perspective and if you perceive life occurrences in a particular way, arguably every thing could have a pleasurable aspect.

Life is a series of pleasurable events, if you want it to be.  Why not?  The fact that stress and distress can worm its way  into our daily routines is always puzzling to me.

Maximizing Pleasure

That is not to say every life event provides the same level of pleasure and working towards a goal of maximizing your personal pleasure (not at the expense of others, of course) is both an admirable and obtainable goal.

To some extent it requires conscious control of your emotional well being.  The positive or pleasurable aspects of a thing sometimes require some effort to achieve, but I would argue, regardless of what you are up against, some form of enjoyment opportunity exists.

You just need to both recognize and embrace it.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Attitude Modification

Leave a comment

Environmental and genetic factors shape your attitude.  Current theory is the impact of nature versus nuture on personal attitudes is not a fixed factor.  It depends.

The type and magnitude of environmental factors can override your genetic template or complement it or even reinforce and exaggerate your basic natural proclivities.

A lot of this information comes from studies with identical twins, particularly those separated at birth and growing up in very different environments.

Changing and adapting your attitude

Through your adolescent and teenage years your foundational attitudes are formed.  These are influenced by your surroundings (nurture) and your genetic template (nature).

Research indicates the balance between nature and nuture influences varies greatly by individual.  This tends to support the theory we control our attitudes to some extent (nurture influences).

Although we often believe you cannot change how a person thinks once they have formed their base personality and personal value system, (usually by their 20’s) you actually can teach an old dog new tricks.

“Tricks” are in fact just behaviors.  Your behaviour can be influenced by others or your own desire to change at any time.  So if others want you to, or you want to, behavioural change can occur.

We often view behavioural change as reflective of our attitude, in fact your value based attitude, your personality might not change (probably doesn’t) at all, just your behaviour.

Conclusion

We can change our behaviour throughout our lives, our base attitude though is probably fixed by our early twenties.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Fitting in

Leave a comment

Integrating with your environment is a basic human behavior.  I had an interesting discussion today about new entrants to an organizational  culture.

Checking at the door

When you are bringing someone new into your organization the first step is usually to check their fit.  Through a variety of techniques (interviews, references, resumes, aptitude tests) the potenial candidate is vetted.

The entry level question is does the person possess the skills to do whatever tasks the organization needs to be performed.  Another key focus is usually on attitude.  Will they fit in with the behavioral expectations.

To exaggerate a point, if the organization expects members to regularly swear at each other you would want to confirm this behavior is not considered abnormal or offensive by the candidate.

What if you miss?

Given it’s impossible to fully confirm a persons fit to an organizations attitudinal and behavioral norms its not unknown for mismatches to occur.

When the new entrant recognizes this, usually within the first three to six months, there are generally three options:

  • Adopt the attitudes and values of the organization
  • Work from within to create change (they view this as cultural improvements) that align better with their own value system.  in some cases this can be a real benefit to the organization
  • Exit.  In this case the person believes they can ‘t change , or there is such a mismatch to their personal values (most likely the case) they don’t want to change.

If new blood has been recruited to your organization with the specific goal of intiating change, it is important to support them and monitor the situation carefully so the first or third options do not occur, unless of course you want them to.

Alternatively if you see the newbie is not fitting in but their skills are valued and you don’t want them to exit it could be of value to encourage them to adopt the organizations existing norms.

The key idea for consideration in this post is the importance of being aware of potential effects of attitudinal mismatches that could be incurred by new members of  a group so you can consciously and proactively influence which of the three options will result. You can then influence events to go in the direction best for the organization.