Tag Archives: joy

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Choose Happiness

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Sometimes I envy my friends and colleagues who are always in a bouncy and up mood whenever I encounter them.  Thinking about it though I realize they probably do not have anything that I don’t.

I understand intuitively and logically that they take pleasure in all they do and so their life is filled with joy.  It is just a choice and probably a simple one at that.  But everyone does not choose that path.

Simple but Complex

Choosing pleasure over pain, deciding it only makes sense to find the joy in everything, and behave accordingly does not seem to be the kind of thing rocket science is needed to figure out.

Yet, I find it requires effort to be happy.  Doubt, fear, worry to name just a few of the less desirable emotions seems to occur even when not desired.

This is not just a personal observation but widespread among people I regularly interact with.  It is too rare and always enjoyable to run into someone who has chosen happiness and joy.  You want to talk to them, the good feelings are contagious.

It would appear simple to choose to be in a constant state of pleasure yet, surprisingly, that does not appear to be the case for most folks.

Perspective

Each of us can choose our own particular attitude toward anything.  Our way regarding something, that is a point of view.  This is of course influenced by our environment and other people.

We need to work hard to choose the best perspective, perhaps the optimistic joyful view, when pitted against many obstacles.  This is why even though it is the logical choice we do not always choose a happy perspective.

The key is to pause and remember regardless of the circumstances, it is your choice.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Celebrate, dance to the music

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Celebration contributes to our ongoing joy, it behooves us to find a purpose for marking our pleasure at an important event or occasion or just by engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity, every day.

Holidays are designated days of ceremony, on and off as both individuals and  social groups we select significant events and milestones to celebrate but these celebrations are selective and not continuous.

Life is Short

In the context of the Universe and time as we know it our own lives are just a drop in pond.  From that perspective celebrating everything continuously only makes sense.

While the following is a trite and a well worn phrase, our life is a celebration in and of itself we should not waste any moment under a cloud of fear, anxiety or other stressful feelings.

However small or large, beautiful or ugly scary or relaxing everything we experience is ours to enjoy and celebrate.  Logically why would we choose otherwise.

Choose Pleasure

One of the greatness opportunities of life is a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment.  Why entertain anything but the joy we derive from pleasure.

We can find distinctive pleasure in everything.  An open and optimistic perspective is all you need to do this.  How you perceive your personal interactions and the things around you is core to achieving personal enjoyment.

Simply put, choose pleasure every-time, what possible reasons can there be not to.  It is only logical.

Pass it On

Another significant reason to find pleasure and celebrate everything  around you at all time is the fact it is infectious.  Your celebration will very quickly be joined by others.

Spread the joy.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

True Wealth

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Most often we define wealth as an abundance of valuable possessions or money.  Personal well being is founded not on fiscal abundance but rather on our mental state.

When we have a wealth of emotional stability and contentment we are happy and display a keenness of thought and vision.  For me, true wealth, indicative of real prosperity, lies within and is not based on physical ownership.

  Feeling Good

You may gain a false sense of happiness and joy by having solid financial resources which leads you to believe you are satisfied.  However, real personal satisfaction is based on your state of mind.

You are defined by the innate instinctive impulses and primary processes that are manifest within your brain.  This forms your ID and functions best when grounded in logic and kindness.

Give and Receive

One of the keys to personal emotional stability is freely sharing kindness.  By being kind to others you will receive kindness in return and the give and take increases exponentially over time.

For all of us, the outcome of shared kindness is a wealth of peace, contentment, and joy.

Seeking to gain solely through material wealth can actually detract from our ability to behave kindly because our actions are motivated by the need to acquire (they are not selfless).

Behaving with a focus on maximizing pleasure is not grounded in material wealth but rather your spiritual whole.  You need to act in accordance with your ID, fighting it only causes anxiety although we do not always recognize this as the root cause.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Don’t Worry Be Happy

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Time spent in a state of happy satisfaction is time well spent.   Seeking to feel joy as frequently as possible, maybe continuously, is nothing to be ashamed of.

This approach to life is neither arrogant or self-centered.  After all other people contribute to our joy just as we can be an integral part of theirs. You will still be part of the whole, just happy about it.

Pleasure for All

The key aspect of seeking to be continuously happy that moves it out of the realm of hedonism and selfishness is also believing in happiness for everyone.

Without being able to experience empathy we probably can never be really happy.   Human beings are social by nature, the extent of which can vary from introverted to extroverted behavior but even introverts are social.

Empathy is about sharing the feelings of others, to be effective this practise should be neither about you or about them but rather simply comprehension.

Embrace Joy

Enjoyment is a feeling.  While their are sub-conscious components to feeling interpreting and converting your feelings to joyful moments can be nothing more than a mental exercise.

Being sensitive to both your own and other peoples feelings, understanding what they are and the root cause is simply a tool you can use to to take charge.

Why would you let how you feel be unpleasant?  Everything we experience can be interpreted as contributing to our happiness and there is no good reason not to.

Unhappiness cannot be justified.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Don’t forget to have fun

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The purpose of our lives whether holistic to the entire population of the earth, individual or by cultural groups most likely includes a component of pleasure.

This should not be applied in the hedonistic sense, personal pleasure at the expense of everything else,  but for each of us life without pleasure to some extent will be quite empty and void.

Anytime

I have run into dissenters from time to time but my own philosophy is fun, laughing, joy are always appropriate.  Actually probably even more so in dire circumstances.

I my life on earth was not intended to bring joy (both to myself and others) than what?  I can imagine no other purpose and while times of adversity are sometimes unavoidable the ability to create fun is always within your grasp.

Appropriate Behavior

I will concede that social and cultural norms do put some limitations on when and how to have fun, but these can always be overcome, albeit gently.

Crashing a sober occasion like a bull in a china shop with joyous antics clearly is not appropriate but being somber and sad exclusively is not necessary.

I told appropriate amusing anecdotes at my parents funerals, in good taste and within acceptable context of the audience.   This went over exceeding well and I received many complements.

Don’t Let Calamity Overwhelm

Laugh through your tears, you will never regret it.  My own personal mantra, sadness should be a fleeting emotion, joy and happiness forever.

Bring a little humor and fun to everything you do, I guarantee you will never regret it.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Feeling Good

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In the Northern hemisphere, the week or so after the winter solstice is a time of celebration.  Intuitively this makes sense, in a way it is celebrating the coming of the light

That is, the solstice is the shortest day of the year and from then until the summer solstice the days get longer.  Longer days mean longers periods of light, a reason to celebrate.

Holiday Happiness

This seasonal period is labeled a period of peace and joy.   Many customs abound supporting this varying by cultural and religious background but all have a common focus – a time of universal contentment.

I have always wondered why we concentrate our focus are happiness focused behaviour (giving gifts, dancing, frolicking etc.) with a single time of year.

Sure the days are getting longer but aren’t the desires for a peaceful and happy existence something that is universal and life long.  Pausing each year for a period of peace and joy reverting back to eleven months of death and destruction just does not seem logical.

Reward Psychology

Intermittent reward is much more effective than constant or ongoing.  In fact if it is not periodic the value of a celebration and it’s associated impact is lessened.

It becomes the norm.  The periodic celebration of longer periods of daylight has a cachet because it is periodic.  Celebrating and behaving in a peaceful manner all the time is just boring I guess.

Still, all in all I think this is an illogical approach.  That being said, I wish peace and good will to all , now, next month, next year and so on.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

It begins with you

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Happiness begins with you.  Happiness, pleasure, joy, etc are all emotions which belong to you and you decide when and if they apply to you. 

The state of your mind is under your control, albeit influenced by other people and things.  We often say something brings us joy or makes us feel pleasure. 

In reality we choose to feel joy or pleasure, the influencing factors definitely have an impact on this choice but no matter what the circumstances it is still ultimately a personal choice. 

Success is a Choice

If your goal is to win a high jump competition, the objective is to jump higher than anyone else.  Alternately your goal might to be just to participate in the competition and have fun.

The bar you set for success belongs to you.  It is not cast in stone.  Your may set your goal low or high and after making the attempt you might accept the lesser achievement.  It is your choice.

Your happiness is what you choose it to be.  Everything begins and ends with you.  Others cannot decide how you choose to feel, influence it – yes, decide – no.

Choose Enjoyment

I start each day with a shower.  While shower I set the tone for my day.  I decide to be happy and content.  By the time I am drying myself with the towel I am a happy and content person, because I choose to be.

This simple technique makes ever day of my life a joy.  My pleasure cannot be undermined by the external events of the day  because I have protected myself with a happy attitude from the beginning.

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Happiness

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The formula for a happy life is not a secret. Tal Ben-Shahar is a self proclaimed happiness researcher. He has a doctorate in organizational behaviour.

Mr. Ben-Shahar famously advised Michelle Obama at their first meeting, when asked what he did, that he was a happiness researcher. Her classic reply, “Oh, is that a thing?”

Ideas

Tal travels the world consulting and lecturing on happiness related behaviours and concepts. One of his several books on the subject, Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, led me to todays topic.

Happiness is of our own making, yet, as implied by the self help books title there is some secret to attaining it. Personally, there is no secret. I know what makes me happy, actually I would suggest most people do.

Choosing to be Happy

For me the hallmark of the work of Tal Ben-Shahar is not researching happiness itself but rather how to practice happiness focused behaviours.

Ultimately it is about choice. The first key step in the secret formula to happiness (which is not really a secret at all) is choosing to do so. Of course the cavet is, “Not at the expense of others”.

Knowing what mkes you happy and choosing to behave in ways that create personal happinessis in fact the simple bu effective secret formula.

The key to this is resisting the urge to let external factors, those out of your control impinge on your happiness. You can contro your own reaction to everything so whatever happens, perceive it correctly and you can be happy.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Celebrate

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The holiday season (largely North America) or just the holidays (in many Western influenced countries) occur this time of year. To coin a common song lyric “T’is the season to be jolly.”

I often wonder why we designate a time of year for celebration. Granted though in the Northern hemispere where many Christmas traditions arose (a hallmark of the season) it is dark and cold, not a bad time for a celebration.

Life Long

While it is definitely a bit idealistic, I wonder why we don’t all treat our lives as a year long celebration. It is nice to have designated highlights, whether religious, political or just historic; however outside of these organized holidays, why not be joyous year round.

To some extent the answer probably lies in group think. A common belief that this is the time to rejoice makes it easier to participate. Everyone is doing it so we feel peer pressure to participate.

Motivated by Desire

Of course in the case of pleasurable activity the peer pressure does not need to be strong, as most want to join in anyway. Except for the odd scrooge participation in the holiday happiness is usually virtually unanimous.

With few exceptions, the pursuit of happiness is a common human behaviour so participating in the theme of the holiday season is not hard to do. It is easily embraced and hence successful.

Keep it Going

Although this is not a unique thought, I am sure it has been said many times and in many ways, this year consider keeping it going. stay in the holiday spirit year round. You might be surprised how it is not only better for you but for those around you as well.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Measuring Success

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We have many ways of measuring achievement.  The measure can be aligned with the objective directly or peripheral factors.  Also it can be highly objective or subjective or somewhere in between.

For example if you are  playing a game of golf the measure could be your score or it could be your score against the scores of others.  Both of these are pretty objective measures.

However, it could be how you feel.  This is a more subjective measure not necessarily related to your score but rather how much fun you had.   Did your level of enjoyment meet expectations?

Measuring your Daily Activities

Most of us spend our days performing  activities involving mental or physical effort, i.e., work.  (To clarify financial compensation is not required to classify  spending your time as work).

What is the success measure relative to this work.  Like the golf game, there are multiple measures.  You can objectively assess if the goal of your activity was achieved and to what level.

The subjective measure of accomplishment can also apply.  Was it a good outcome, high quality, appreciated, etc.?

However, Over the long term, I would argue, the subjective measure of enjoyment and happiness is the most important.

If you are laughing and having fun the lack of more concrete success, while not desirable or to be encouraged, can be overlooked and absorbed to some extent.

This is not to propose that achieving what you set out to do is not important, but it should not be at the expense of your personal happiness.