Tag Archives: self esteem

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Courage

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Showing strength in the face of pain or grief or taking action that is frightening or might undermine your self esteem requires courage.   Courage does not mean the absence of fear but rather ability to manage yourself appropriately when scared.

The practice of courage can be dramatic and inspirational or it could just be relatively mundane.  Behaving with integrity often requires courage, that is doing the right thing even if it is hard to do so.

Anxiety

Circumstances do not lead us to worry.  When we give way to anxiety or feel unease it is because we chose to allow ourselves to dwell on difficulty or troubles not about what is going on around us.

Exercising courage often simply means you focus on what really matters, that is your personal goals.  Dwelling what might be or what scares us, which can be very real things, detracts from our ability to be courageous.

It’s about you

Acting courageously may result in the admiration of others, even being classified as a hero.  This should not be a motivation for behaving with courage.

Being tenacious feeds your self esteem, that is behaving according to your personal values even in the face of potential adversity strengthens your inner peace.  Ultimately you feel better about yourself.

The worst impact of succumbing to a bully is not immediate or imminent pain they may inflict but the lingering impacts on your self worth.

Standing by your personal convictions may cause you immediate pain and suffering.  However, feeling good about yourself is   something that will last through the long term, ongoing mental stability will far outweigh passing periods of physical pain.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Fear and Intimidation

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Managers get things done through others.  Leaders help others get things done.  In both cases, the core behavior is developing motivation.

For managers, the motivating factors can range from fear and intimidation to understanding and encouragement.  Fear and intimidation are not in the leaders’ toolkit.

Sustainability

Managing through fear and intimidation is largely at the expense of individual initiative and empowerment.  Micro-managing is the order of the day.

This practice can be very effective in getting things done through others, and since it is typically very directive the results are often as expected (generally good things).

Unfortunately, this approach is usually not sustainable (others don’t like it so either avoid or leave) nor does it necessarily get the best results, just what was demanded and expected.

Demotivation

Motivation through fear and intimidation leads to loathing, that is a feeling of intense dislike or disgust.  A symptom of this is the development of a lack of trust.

The order is received and acted on, but not bought into.  For activities completed under duress, the focus is often not on the objective of the actions but rather avoiding negative consequences.

Not surprisingly this can lead to interesting results.  Although the task may appear to be completed, thus the consequences avoided this can be superficial to some extent.

Belief

Believing in what you are doing is a powerful motivator in and of itself.  Leaders focus on creating that belief.  Their ultimate objective to get things done but not at the expense of others self-esteem and personal satisfaction.

Leaders can be good managers.  Good managers aspire to be leaders.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Getting Help

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Independent behaviour is characterized by actions that seem to not be influenced by other people, that is we  resist the pressures to conform or obey others, rather we decide and act on our own.

Independence is a cornerstone measure of self esteem.  Not to say high self esteem requires a lot of independent behaviour but rather choosing to act independently or to follow the direction of others comes easily and naturally and feels like a personal choice.

Independent living

Most cultures around the world if not all are founded on the  principle of individual indepence built on a framework of societal dependence.

The level of control exercised by societies can vary significantly but largely the focus on basic human needs, food and shelter starts with the individual.

This concept of individuality has a genetic influence and during our lives the inate need for individual independence is balanced out by the environmental context.  That is we learn conformance behaviour.

Accepting Dependence

Sometimes all of us benefit from, control direction and direct help of others.  The optimum balance between dependnce and independence is a very individual assessment.

There is a balance, it would be impossible to operate fully at one end ofthe spectrum or the other, although conceptually this is what hermetic behaviour is trying to achieve.   That is a very high level of independence.

Recognizing a balance does exist and seeking the best for you is the point of this post.  If you need help, take it.