All posts by steve@kerrzone.com

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

It is all about Attitude

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If you belive it, then it is.  Nothing is out of your control to accept or deny.  Only you can decide how to react.  Even in moments of great stress.

When you experience stress, remember, you created the stress.  Yes, contextual circumstances do influence our abilities to control feelings and behaviour; However, regardless  of this fact; we feel, we act; not someone else.

Feeling Good -always

Given we have complete accountability for how we think and act it follows being constantly satisfied without exception is fully  within our control.

So why are people sad sometimes.? Why are there mass murderers and suicides?  It is all about attitude.  The foundation that underpins your ability to manage personal behaviour is attitude.

Who cares?

It begins with caring.  At the center of your being what do you care about.  This is in fact the purpose of your life.  It could be a God, seeking maximum pleasure or helping others or anything else.

Once you know what you care about crafting a positive attitude is easy.  If even a small part of you has doubt or questions what you care about, you will find maintaining the attitude becomes more difficult.

Mix and Match

A single purpose might not resonate with you and you might mix them.  For example maximum pleasure and belief in a God.

Ultimately though for this to work the core purposes cannot conflict.  You must be able to percieve their meanings as working in harmony.

Over simplified

One suggestion, before you convince yourself this is an unrealistic oversimlified approach, give it a try.

You might not achieve 100% personal serenity consistently, speaking from experience though you might be surprised at how close you come.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Listening to music (con’t) #6

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On Oct 25th I started a post series that would be about the 37 live rock concerts I have attended in my life so far.

Over time, I am listing the next three best. Five posts so far covered the top fifteen (listed below), today’s covers fifteen to eighteen.

Just a reminder; 1) Paul McCartney, 2) Led Zeppelin, 3) Elton John 4)Alice Cooper 5) Al Stewart 6) Queen 7) Bee Gees 8) Deep Purple 9) James Taylor 10)Blue Oyster Cult, 11)Johnny Winter, 12) Uriah Heep 13) The Monkees. 14) 1910 Fruitgum Company 15) Allman Brothers Band

And today’s list

16) Kansas -This band’s biggest hit fits on my top ten list of all time favorite songs ( Dust in the Wind).  Their use of electrified violin and the fact their main genre is a solid blues base make them a favorite artist of mine.  I saw them in a club with a small audience of 2500 and stood right by the stage.  It was memorable.

17)  Styx – I saw them at the Molson amphitheatre in Toronto.    Though I am not a huge fan of progressive rock I do have to admit the live show was fabulous.  Singing and playing right in the audience at times, this was a band that clearly is a crowd pleaser.

18) Wishbone Ash – I first heard them while watching Dick Clarks American Bandstand.  Right from the get go this bands sound caught my attention.  I saw them live a couple of times but the most memorable was at Lulu’s in Waterloo.  Apparently Lulu’s had the longest bar in North America.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Push me into it

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Occassionally I influence external forces to push me into a behavior or situational change.  I always do this with cautious consideration of the risks.

Surprisingly I have found this to be an effective way to leverage my self awareness toward motivating positive change -my own change that is.

For example reinvigorating your carreer

Often circumstances, (for example dependents, debt, self worth)  can act as deterents to personal changes.

Wanting to change your job or even type of work you do (a full carreer change) can be daunting.  Desire can provide motivation but sometimes it is just not enough and the blocking factors act as an override.

Sometimes you probably just want to stay in bed with your pillow wrapped around your head.  Usually you overcome the lethargy and get up.  However on occassion you need help, someone pours water on you or pulls the sheets away. Up you jump.

Driving desired action

Consider a person in a job they don’t enjoy, perhaps even dislike, but can’t motivate themselves to find another.  This is a great opportunity to leverage the help of others.

Behave badly.  Increasingly so if needed.  Ultimately this forces some change.  Maybe an offer of retirement, an open invitation to leave (perhaps even a forceful one).

You create motivation and the change is made and like the action pouring of cold water on your head or removal of your sheets you have to jump up and do something.

This is just an example but forcing a job change would not be recommended as a starting place for this technique, I would work up to it before trying (if appyling to this extreme situation at all).

Think it over

If you are in a place of lethargy, unable to resolve/ motivate a change yourself, give this approach some thought.  I can testify from experience , this works.  The word of caution is there are some risks and things might not always proceed as you planned (so be careful).

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Life is a mixed message

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A colleague commented the other day that he was getting mixed messages.    I thought about it for moment and then responded, “life is a mixed message”.

Basically it had just occured to me that day in and day out living lacked clarity.  I think that is good.  Sometimes I can complain and in the next breath complement. This is not a mixed message it’s just living the moment.

Confused, you should not be.  I am pretty sure everyone experiences uncertainty at one time or another.  It is just part of the human experience.

What to do?

We don’t know everything and if anyone did, well, where’s the fun in that.  The reality is often conflicting views can exist simultaneously and both be valid.

Most things are part of a balance and the way to navigate through the mire is to manage the balance of things.  That is take control, drive to an answer that sucessfully balances the conflicting facts.

Don’t let others confuse you, most importantly don’t confuse yourself.  Weigh the information, consider the impacts of various views and resolve the mixed mesages by taking a stand.

The key

Others cannot confuse you unless you allow it.  Question and probe the points that seem at odds to each other.  Check your understanding of the information share.

Maybe it really makes sense and is not a mixed message; maybe it is not even a message.

The bottom line in this post is personal accountability.  You are accountable for recieving and acting on messages directed to you, so don’t let them be mixed.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Motivational tips – using consequences as a tool

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One of the simpilest form of motivation is based on consequences.  Simply put a consequence is the result or effect of an action.

Surprisingly, many people jump to “negative” when they hear consequences, partcularly in the context of performance management.

As a general rule, strong performance results in positive consequences.  Like the old saying ” You get more bees with honey than vinegar” you will get stronger performance using positive consequences to motivate.

Performance management is also a bit of a misnomer too.  Essentially, by creating circumstances that encourage and enable the achievement of positive consequences, and the desire to achieve them (motivation) high performance is achieved.

The goal of performance management is really more accurately termed performance encouragement.  It is most effective when applied indirectly.

Using Positive Consequences to Motivate

Consequnces are a great tool to indirectly influence the actions of others.  The sprinter seeking the consequence of a gold medal performs better.  The postive consequence is motivating.

This is dependent on understanding the level of value asociated with the consequence.   The sprinters stakeholder group (coach, parents, fellow citizens) all contribute to this understanding and so form part of the performance management equation.

Negative Consequences

While it is true using avoidance of negative consequences as a motivating factor can work somewhat, numerous psychological studies have shown this the least effective approach to motivation.

More importantly, it is not sustainable, nor does it encourage  attempts to exceed and get even better consequences (basically your behavior focuses on avoidance not improvement).

Most Common Mistake

Many managers or leaders focus on negative consequences to manage performance.  In my experience the thing that stands out in peoples minds from a performance discussion  are the opportunities for improvement ( nice euphemism).

In fact these opportunities are about consequences you are not achieving (so negative).  Even if positive consequences are mentioned in the discussion, people mostly focus on the negative (and feel bad)

Atheletes will tell you the positive consequence of winning is something they feed on.  On average, winning motivates more winning and losing, well, just the opposite.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

How to make a change

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Over the years I have read a number of books on change mangement  together with attending numerous seminars.  All focused on the tools and techniques to bring about sucessful changes.

Not surprisingly, communication is key with motivation a close second.  Simply put; what is the change and whats in it for you? There are many ways to answer these questions. The books andseminars provide helpful ideas on how to do this.

Whats Missing

Often overlooked is the critical fact that change starts with you. Communication, understanding and motivation but in the beginning its all about the individual.  Whether they are a creator or an acceptor of the change, the individual is key.

As an individual, what barriers exist?  Resistance to change is, on average, a standard humam trait.  Receptivity to change is part of your personal attitudes. Normal attitude equal low receptivity.

Obviously, if  one of “change is good” is one your values your ability to embrace change is higher.

Often these people are the best change agents and when changes are occuring it is always helpful to  seek out these folks. Usually they are easy to identify because they want to help.

How to get started

Whether creating or participating in change the first is to jump in.  Participating in a change does not mean you cannot influence it,you can.

Resisting the change takes more effort than participating and inflencing.  When you are a part of the change the chance of getting a benifit is much higher.

So jump off the burning platform (a change story for another time) and enjoy.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Beware the Succubus

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The Succubus became part of medival mythology in the fourteenth century.   A supernatural entity that appears in dreams taking the form of a beautiful woman  in order to seduce men, usually through sexual activity.  The incubus was the mythical male counterpart.

The church believed repeated sexual activity with a succubus reduced health even leading to death.  But what a way to go.

A basis in fact

Many legends are based on actual events and it is postulated the Succubus myth was an underlying explanation for wet dreams or nocturnal emmission.

There are other theories as to the underlying basis for the mythology but I can see how ” A demon came and had sex with me while I was sleeping” would be a good way to explain the stains on the sheets.

In the case of the incubus sadly one potential explanation is based on the rape of sleeping women .  The rapist blamed it on the demon incubus.

Multi cultural

Although the succubus/incubus myth was european in orgin similar demons exist in other cultures.  For example in the folklore of India the Yaksha and Yakashini are similar demonic creatures and Arab culture has the qarinah.

Serving a purpose

One purpose of myths like these is to manage behavior.  The evils of sex with yourself at night our couched  of a scary devil.  This is intended to deter the activity.

If that does not work there is always the threat of poor health or death.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

We’ll figure it out – because we can.

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I recently came across a can-do organanization with an appropriate motto.  “We’ll figure it out because we can, no worries”.  For them this was a powerful and effective approach.

For me it is a tiny bit too unstructured for a standard organizational environment.  In this case there is no need for an objective based approach or a balanced scorecard to measure how you are doing.

Success is figured out as you go along.

Always successful

Every action is a win because you are figuring it out as you go along.  In this case success definitions can be quite malleable.   It’s probably makes it a lot easier if achievement measures are flexible.  Basically this is a great way to consistently perform to expectations.

Given the expectations are figured out as you go along the team always succeeds.   This sounds like it would be a great organizational culture.

Not really as good as it might seem

Surprisingly (to some, not me) engagement checks of the team members in these type of environments consistently score low.

While it might feel like having little direction would be satisfing, that is doing whatever you want; psychological studies have shown the reality is human nature demands constraints to thrive ( in most cases anyway – this is not an absolute).

Even intellectual pursuits generally fare better with boundaries.  The blank slate is definately embraced by some, however they are a minority.

Balance

Striking a balance between defined, measurable objectives and the ability to figure it out when appropriate is more likely to result in a high performing organization than either extreme (i.e. figure it out as you go along or strict do this do that  directions)

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Shakespear Beacon

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A collegue who has a bit of a theatrical background recently wrote the following ditti on the white board by my desk.

“To be or not to be
That is the question
Whether it is responsibility or accountability
Dig Deep and take a look inside
It’s all about you.”

I am pretty sure it was a tongue in cheek comment about my oft expressed views on personal accountability.  Although there may have been some sarcasm intended, the sentiments resonated with me.

Dig deep and look inside

So often we blame circumstances for our behaviour.  For example, one of my favorites ” You made me angry so it is not my fault I yelled at you and we argued”

In fact it was your choice.  Anger is an emotion, yelling is a behaviour.   One can influence the other but in the end your behavior can only be decided by you.

Take Control

Never having regrets about how you behave could be a personal value, objective or life style choice.  Whatever context you frame it within, the idea is very powerful.

It is easily measured.  When you have a regret about the way you acted or if you apoligize for your behaviour – count it as a fail.  Keep track.  Frequent misses probably mean you want to change something in how you handle yourself.

Conversly long strings of success, that is no regrets, not only feels good but it raises your esteem in the eyes of others.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Why hike the mountain when the valley beckons.

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Choosing the easy way to your objective seems intuitive.  Yet, so often, I observe people taking the senic or well known path, even if it is not the most effective choice.

For example the direct route may be the path more traveled but if it goes over the mountain a more circuitous route through the valley could be an easier journey, even if it appears longer at first blush

Considering Options

The real message of this post is a recommendation to think before you leap.  The best path might not be the obvious one.  Reducing your effort on one task could well make time available for others.

Unless you are bored and the objective is to fill the empty void of time as it stretches on and on, the most efficient approach is usually best.

But how to do it?

The easy way is not always obvious, most often though an easier alternative exists.

On my drive to work each day, the shortest path goes thru a very busy intersection.  This is the way most people go. Stop and go.  Wait for a light.  Wait for another light, and another.

I take a slightly longer route, easy flowing no stop and go and maybe 5 minutes longer in duration.  However, it is a much more pleasent drive,  Using the easy route, I arrive at the university relaxed and ready to enjoy.

This alternate route required some research to uncover, but it was worth it.