Tag Archives: self management

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Destiny

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Do we have an inescapable fate?  Are things just meant to be?  Destiny refers to things that will necessarily happen to us in the future.  Out of our control is implied.

Although it is outside of the intended meaning of the work I wonder if we can create our own destiny through action.  The concept is based on acting in a strategic and visionary way such that your pre-determined fate is actually morphed.

Pragmatic Approach

It is important to deal with things sensibly and realistically in a way that is based on practical rather than theoretical considerations.  If something is inevitable however you behave won’t change that.

However, sometimes we can be too pragmatic in our approach.  Stretching into the area of theoretically possible things and believing in them means we do have a chance to overcome our destiny.

It may be easier to believe in the pre-ordained, that is there is nothing I can do to make a change so why try?

Taking Action Works

The history of humanity seems to demonstrate an inevitable destiny is not reality.   Events throughout history have clearly changed the course.

While we cannot yet travel back in time and change the actions and behavior to see if the results would actually change we can logically and intuitively visualize this to be the case.

The outcome of world war two is a simple and straightforward example of this re-imaging.  Numerous treatise has been written about what-if scenarios and outcomes if different political and warfare actions were undertaken.

Destiny is within our grasp, we just have to be clear what we seek and plan the best approach to achieving our goals.

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Disappointment

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Sometimes we feel thwarted because our hopes, desires or expectations are not achieved.  The outcomes fall short of where you wanted them to be. 

Disappointment is all about personal perspective.  The situations that disappoint are as much about you perceiving poor results as the poor results themselves.

Optimism

Expecting the best outcome can be optimistic and not always realistic, accepting the outcome as the best might not be realistic but it will avoid disappointment.

Reaching for prefered outcomes, believing they are possible is a form of optimism; however don’t let your optimism become a driver of disappointment. 

Moving On

Disappointment can lead to disengaement and reduce your motivation to make things better.  Disappointment is real but should not be allowed to interfer with moving on.

Acknowledging disappointment even sharing it with others can be theraputic but it should focus on acceptance or planning how to resolve things to meet your expectations.

Of course lowering your expectations to match the outcomes is one way of resolving disappointment, that is not what I am suggesting.

Letting your disappointment fester like a wound is much worse, so acceptance is more about getting to a place you can live with the outcomes. 

Manage your Expectations

The core action for avoiding disappointment is to manage your expectations.  That is not to say you shouldn’t set the bar high, rather recognize how realistic your desires are and temper your expectations accordingly.

This does not mean you will never be disappointed, but instead your reaction will be positive, healthy and lead to something better.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Living with Yourself

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This post is advice on how to consistently you are comfortable with yourself.

When you behave in a certain way,  the best approach to ensuring you have no regrets is to manage your behaviour in ways that ensure it was what you wanted to do.

In essence, this means acknowledging your behaviour choices as your own and yours alone.  For example, consider the statement “He made me mad so I behaved badly”.

No Regrets

You might regret the way you responded in anger and even beat yourself up with self talk.  The outcome is probably not positive from your perspective and blaming the other takes the edge off.

Blame, unfortunately,  does not solve the problem.  You feel bad the other participant feels bad.  It does not have to be this way.  That is not to say it’s inappropriate or inadvisable to follow your emotions or react in the moment.

The key is, before any reaction, ask yourself in the moment, “Is this how I want behave, is this right, is it fair, is it justifiable?”. When your answer is yes, whatever the resulting outcome  – negative or positive –  because you made a conscious  decision, all will be fine with you.

Accountability Matters

Consciously deciding what to do, how to behave means you accepted accountability in the moment.  When you have internal support of knowing the personal accountability was yours, it is highly unlikely you will have any regrets.