Monthly Archives: May 2020

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Don’t Worry Be Happy

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Time spent in a state of happy satisfaction is time well spent.   Seeking to feel joy as frequently as possible, maybe continuously, is nothing to be ashamed of.

This approach to life is neither arrogant or self-centered.  After all other people contribute to our joy just as we can be an integral part of theirs. You will still be part of the whole, just happy about it.

Pleasure for All

The key aspect of seeking to be continuously happy that moves it out of the realm of hedonism and selfishness is also believing in happiness for everyone.

Without being able to experience empathy we probably can never be really happy.   Human beings are social by nature, the extent of which can vary from introverted to extroverted behavior but even introverts are social.

Empathy is about sharing the feelings of others, to be effective this practise should be neither about you or about them but rather simply comprehension.

Embrace Joy

Enjoyment is a feeling.  While their are sub-conscious components to feeling interpreting and converting your feelings to joyful moments can be nothing more than a mental exercise.

Being sensitive to both your own and other peoples feelings, understanding what they are and the root cause is simply a tool you can use to to take charge.

Why would you let how you feel be unpleasant?  Everything we experience can be interpreted as contributing to our happiness and there is no good reason not to.

Unhappiness cannot be justified.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Confusion

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When those around you are in a state of being bewilderment or unclear about something the key question is what can be done to resolve the confusion.

The answer begins with the source or root cause.  Most frequently this is related to poor communication often stemming from assumptions and personal bias.

Assumptions

Unconsciously we use things we know to be true as underpinnings of  information we want to share with others.  Unfortunately, just because something that is accepted as well known and true by us, this assumption might not be universal.

This can confuse others because they are not at the same baseline as you.  You may be frustrated at the apparent misunderstanding and not realize it is simple a result of different baselines.

Your unconscious assumptions are often not shared directly, because you don’t believe it needs to be.  This gap is the most common cause of confusion.

A Simple Solution

On the surface it appears confusion could be avoided by sharing everything and confirming everyone is starting from the same information baseline.

The reality is a balance must be struck between sharing for retention and comprehension.  A dump of everything you know has the same effect as holding back, it creates confusion, if not boredom too.

Confusion Free

The key skill associated with reducing or eliminating confusion relates toward regular interval testing.  Provide the background and information objective but test for comprehension every step of the way.

Comprehension test does not mean asking “Did you understand?” but rather questioning on a subject related point that requires understanding to be answered correctly.

Avoid confusion it will make communicating moreenjoyable for everyone.

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Don’t Give Up

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Gentle persistence can be a very effective practice when what you seek is just out of reach, carry on and you can succeed.  That is, the practice of firm continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.

There is a fine line between persistence and being stubborn or obstinate.   Hence the modifier, gentle persistence.  There can be great value continuing until you succeed or even just until it is clear you will never succeed.

Personal Satisfaction

Whether you achieve what you wanted knowing that you were fully committed  and everything you possibly was done, is worth more than getting the object of your desire.

Self confidence is not founded not on accomplishments themselves but rather the personal  belief you can and will do what is needed.  Simply put you will try and continue to do so until their is no reason to continue.

Not Failure

Having undertaken all possible approaches yet still not reaching the desired objective does not constitute failure.   Failure is always associated with giving up before you are done.

This is not intended to imply it is okay not to attain your goals.  Rather it is not okay to not make every reasonable effort and continue until you succeed.  Perhaps not surprisingly this actually  results in attaining what you seek or close to it most cases.

Feeling Good

Most importantly knowing you did not give up always leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction around a task well done.  After all you did everything you could.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

The New Normal

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The usual or expected whether related to an activity, specific behaviours or standards is perceived to normal.  Although we can be surprised by things this is usually the exception or abnormal.

For the most part we become accustomed and familiar with the routines of our daily lives and expectations around travel, shopping, work etc.  Our expectations of how we do these things are fairly constant and constitute the norm.

Shifting Reality

The norm is not an absolute but if constantly shifting it not a norm.  Shifting norms generally occur gradually over time.  It is unusual for rapid alteration in the “norm” but it can occur.

The reality of how we perceive each other and our life circumstances  will typically need a drastic upheaval for a new normal to arise.

But it does happen, case in point is of course the global pandemic.

Normality Shifts

Our expectations about how we and others should behave do not arise in isolation.  Circumstances are a major driver of our perceptions, and these arise from reality.

Simply put, while we can classify actions or behaviours as normal, based  on our own perception, the determination of what constitutes normal can very much  arise from external forces outside our control.

Accept and Thrive

Adoption to the new norm is critical to our own survival.  Recognizing the need to adapt to changing circumstance is a key behaviour of all living things.

The alternative to adapting to the new norm is typically extinction.  And so as time passes the majority adapts to the needs of the external drivers and ultimately these behaviours become the new norm.

 

 

 

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

Communication

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Success in life is dependent on communication. That is the imparting or exchange of information.  The openness and clarity (or lack thereof) with which this activity is practiced determines outcomes.

Our ability to share information with others is a foundational ability to enable us to achieve our goals and objectives.   This begins from the moment we are born.

Simplistic  Communication from the Mouths of Babes

Immediately after birth, urgent communication comes in the form of loud abrasive wailing (crying).  We have not yet developed the capabilities to more clearly define our purpose.

The babies crying is a great technique for imparting information relative to something urgent that needs to be addressed.  Unfortunately for the poor parents, it is not always clear what the child’s objective is.

This is a great example of the need to communicate clearly both priority and desired objective.  While the babies objective might not be clear the priority certainly is.

Stress, Frustration, and Inefficiency

Sticking the analogy of the child for a moment, the form of early communication they use can frequently result in their objective being achieved, but on occasion, this is not the case which can result in stress and frustration (on the parents part).

As we grow older the pitfalls of poor communication become more apparent.   Arguments or dissatisfying encounters with partners, friends ,colleagues and acquaintances or just about anyone we interact with are almost exclusively founded in some form of miscommunication.

Key Principles

Communicating effectively is simple.  Don’t hold back, be open and honest but sensitive to others needs.  What brings you pleasure must not impinge on the pleasure of others.

Remember, whatever the situation communication is always a two way street.

Random thoughts – keeping you on your toes

May day

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It’s the first of May today.  In many European cultures this is a public holiday which dates back to ancient spring festivals and usually involves public dancing, merriment and eating of cake.

Of course not so much public celebrating this year with many locations practicing social distancing in an effort to stave off the illness arising from the global pandemic.

Mayday Alternate Meaning

interestingly when used as one word although the syntax is the same the meaning is full circle different.  In 1923 mayday became first used as a distress call,  officially internationally recognized as such in 1948.

Mayday as a distress call arose from the french for help me, m’aider.  Nothing to do with the popular celebration of spring, but in light of current events an interesting juxtaposition.

Send Help

Certainly this is a time to seek help from a worldwide perspective.  Perhaps extraterrestrials will hear our plea and provide help .  Mayday,mayday,mayday.

You are supposed to repeat it three times so it won’t be misinterpreted and of course it is intended for use only in life threatening situations.  (I think the pandemic applies).

Uplifting Spirits

Fortunately the arrival of spring and associated celebration, although somewhat muted this year is still an oppotunity to uplift our spirits and should not be ignored.

It is not my birthday but I do intend to splurge on a big slice ofcake.  Provided of course I can find one safely.   Perhaps home delivery, just leave it on the doorstep.  Very popular approach these days.

While however it arrives I plan to enjoy my cake this year.