Tag Archives: choice

Starting Over

If you don’t succeed should you give up or start over.  Giving up smacks of failure and so from a motivational perspective many would say try again (in essence, start over).

From a conscious logical analysis both approaches could be best depending on the cost benefit situation.  There is a time when giving up is best and a time when starting over, perhaps with a different approach,will bring the best results.

Emotional Baggage

Many of our decisions are strongly influenced by our unconscious thought processes.  In fact a number of behaviour studies have shown were we to focus exclusively on our conscious thinking decisions would often just not get made.

Our emotional bias together with our innate integrity and self-absorption will often form overriding influences preventing us from giving up.

From a pure logic perspective this can cause us to persevere beyond what a reasonable analysis  would dictate as appropriate.  Continuing when success is unlikely has little value but often we will do it anyway.

Keep Your Perspective

The impacts of failure can be amplified when you continued to strive against insurmountable obstacles with little hope of overcoming them.

Lack of success is not necessarily bad.  Treating the need for a positive outcome as an absolute necessity can lead to  damage to your psyche.

Some failures are inevitable and treating them as such, even embracing them, moving on and starting over can be without reservation is sometimes the only good option.

 

 

 

Finding the right balance

I had an interesting discussion today about balancing competing interests.  This is a topic I have touched on in previous posts but it is always interesting with many points to consider. Today I build on past thoughts I have shared on this subject.

The English language contains a large number of interesting sayings that in an of themselves are contradictory.  In fact, they really just highlight the importance of finding the optimal balance .

For Example

  • “You have to spend money to make money” In fact, considered literally spending is the opposite of making so doing one to increase the other seems illogical.
  • “We need to increase revenue while decreasing costs”  This seems the opposite of spending to make money, but how can you increase revenue without doing something more (which typically increases costs)
  • “Take er easy and just get it done”  Slowing down and relaxing does not intuitively seem the best way to accomplish something.

Yin versus Yang

Ancient Chinese philosophy includes the concept of Ying and Yang. In brief, the concept defines yin and yang as cosmic dualities by which the universe is governed.  They represent sets of two opposing and complementing principles or cosmic energies that can be observed in nature.

Finding the optimal balance between these competing energies, which is building on the complementary parts and reducing the opposing parts, is key to your happiness and peace.

The concept of Yin and Yang is simply a real recognition that in all things the extreme approach is unlikely if ever the best way to proceed.

Balance in everything will lead to health, wealth and happiness.

Not everything works

If the shoe does not fit, a wise person sets it aside.

We are all individuals to some extent, that is single,  separate,  discrete and independent.  

We are also members of groups (family, social, work) but retain a uniqueness that is distinctly associated with us alone.  Thus, not every situation or opportunity will be suitable or to our liking.

Discriminating

Some situations won’t suite your taste and good judgement while for other people they are fine even to be embraced.  We discriminate according to our individual wants/needs and likes/ dislikes.

For your own satisfaction it important to discriminate without guilt.  Allowing yourself to choose something that is not right for you can  only lead to bad outcomes.

You Choose

Although there may be some debate on the point, choosing is our right and although the forces of influence can be powerful enough to force choices against your will, on occassion, by and large you are in control and should only make choices that fit you.

Anything less will lead to undesirable outcomes.  When you accept the less then desirable option, you should not be surprised at the results .  Embrace your right to choose alternatives that meet your needs.

Compromise is sometimes an option where you might end up in a particular scenario because you bent to the will of others.

Optimally practicing flexibility is a desirable behaviour but rather than compromise seek a scenario that provides what everyone desires, that is, win/win.

 

Taking Action

Action decisions are always yours to make.  The question of whether someone wants you to do something is relevant, but the decision to proceed or not is solely yours.

Sometimes we ask ourselves what does our signifant other or leader or key stakeholders expect.  Meeting expectations can be very fullfilling both for you and the person whose expectations you are addressing, but is it what you want to do.

You are in Charge

Whether the initial motivation to act originates internally (within yourself) or externally ( from others) you should never do anything that does not going to satisfy you.

That is not to say acting to the benefit of other (altruistic) behaviour is not the best thing to do but the underlying motivation, to ensure best results,  has to be your own.

Deciding to act solely on the request and expectation of others rarely leads to the best outcomes.  Not to say the obvious objective, what the other person wanted, will not be accomplished, it might.

However, doing something that is not what you wanted to do will have a negative impact on your psyche, maybe not readily apparent or immediate, but it will be there and over time personal resentment  could peak out its ugly head.

Do or do not, you choose

Whatever decisions you make, the most important advise to heed is your own.  You may decide to proceed or not, whatever option as long as it was your own selection all will be good.