Most people have conversations in their head. This is not talking out loud, nor am I refering a symptom of some mental illnesses. I refer to the thinking you do on the daily commute, during a quiet time at home and so on.
This could be telling yourself about things to do or comtemplate, it might be a mild self debate. Sometimes we beat ourselves up, for example after a really important meeting you might tell yourselve “I really screwed up that presentation.”
It can be positive
Telling yourself a story, thinking about it and working through to a conclusion can be very theraputic, similar to discussing something with a friend,teammate, confidante, etc.
While discussing self talk with a colleague today, he noted, somewhat tongue and cheek, that self talk was the equivalent of talking to an expert.
That of course is a bit of a danger, in that you are really just a self proclaimed expert and the advice you give yourself might not always be golden. On the other hand you are talking to someone you trust and respect and that can be very comforting.
Keep a balance, accent the positive
Talking through a situation might need more than just your perspective and where you can balance your own conclusions with external consultation can be invaluable.
For example, the aforementioned drubbing you gave yourself about a presentation (helping yourself believe you sucked) could be offset by checking with others at the meeting – maybe they thought it was the best presentation ever.
The reality might be somewhere inbetween, balancing self talk with external feedback is critical to avoid driving yourself into a rut. Not only are we self proclaimed experts, but generally there are none we treat more harshley than ourselves.
Closing Recommendation
Pay attention to your self talk. That is rise into consciousness when you recognize a self talk moment and moderate the conversation. Often we talk to ourselves almost semi or fully unconciously.
When actively (conciously) participating, moderate the negative; positive thoughts usually are more aligned with positive results. (Not of course at the expense of honesty.)
