Interacting with other people can lead to feelings of being upset or annoyed.  This can often stem from our own inability to change or influence change to achieve something.

When we need to get things done through others because we are either not capable or don’t have the access we need to do it ourselves, frustration will rear its ugly head.

Taming Frustration

Anxiety, stress, and anger are probably the most prominent emotions associated with frustration.  We find ourselves prevented from making progress and achieving success simply because others are not doing what we want.

This is one of the perks of having power, it is generally easier to influence others to do what you desire.  Even though they may not be in accord with your direction, through physical or organizational power you can drive to your goal, usually without frustration.

Having power is not always an option and being able to finesse what you need is a skill that can save you a lot of frustrating moments.   Getting things done through others is most effective when they want to do it, not because they must.

Core Tenants of Influencing

Understanding others’ wants and desires is the first step toward your goal.  What motivates them?  What are the kinds of things that will drive them to want to behave in a way that will satisfy your desires?

Listening carefully, observing, perhaps conducting some historical research will help you answer these questions.   Your approach to influencing is best founded on what others want, need, and believe.

It is that simple.