Tag Archives: errors

Screwing Up

Making mistakes is a part of living.  Turning mistakes into opportunities for success is therefore a much needed skill, sadly one I see rarely used.

If you take a wrong action or make a misjudgement with negative results you can feel badly, call yourself stupid and go whimper in a corner hoping everything will magically go away.

Be Proactive

Letting your mistake paralyze you into inactivity is a mistake in and of itself.  Concrete definitive actions starting with acknowledgement and ending with resolution are always in order.

This cannot take place until the mistake is identified, which is not always immediate.  Action should begin at the same time as awareness.

Resolution not Diversion

It can be tempting to divert attention from your faux pas (French for a type of mistake) hoping your responsibility will be overlooked, saving you from consequences or resolution efforts.

Typically owning up and acting to resolve any associated issues, figuring out a way to achieve closure is more satisfying but more importantly it prevents later reprecussions if something hidden comes to light.

A permenant solution is a better approach than submitt and hope, that is trying a diversion and hoping it does not unravel.  Acting providesthe aforementioned oppoutunity to turn the error into a success.

Relationships can be built on effective resolution.  In general, others respect those who admit and act.  Of course, the corrective actions are evidence of sincerity and are one of the building blocks of respect that can be forged by acknowledgement and action.

Apologies

Expressing ones regret over offending others (or mistakes or failures which impact others) for which you accept accountability (i.e., an apology) typically is addressed to those who were negatively impacted.

Although on the surface apologizing appears to be for the benefits of those that were harmed, in reality, it is often more to assist the apologizer themselves with coming to terms with themselves.

Seeking Resolution

An error in action which causes others to think less of you also causes you to think less of yourself.  The resolution needs to include resolving your own internal bad feelings as much or even perhaps more so.

More directly stated, apologies can often be more important for the person making them than the person receiving it.  When I am crafting my apology one objective is to receive recognition and sympathy.

I not only want to mend my relationship with those that we injured by my missteps but also want to feel better about myself.  If the situation is accepted by the relevant stakeholders there is less for me beat myself up about.

Even Praiseworthy

Acknowledging your error and following on your sword clearly and promptly, including what you are doing about the issue (or have already done) to make things whole again is often viewed as a very positive behavior.

If the choice is being defensive or being open and upfront, requesting forgiveness I always choose the latter.  This should not be viewed as a cynical perspective but rather just a practical one.