Have you every felt like telling someone, very firmly, “don’t tell me what to do”.   Often the phrase is just sallowed internally and not voiced out loud, but the resentment lingers.

Effectively interacting with others, whether as a leader, manager or peer to peer, you definitely don’t want them to ask you not to tell them what to do.  It’s a  bad signal.

 Pre-cognition, Independence or Trust

Whether this retort is an example of someone anticipating what you are going to tell them, or feeling you are encroaching on their independence or demonstrating a lack of trust in them, it is not a positive response.

If your actions lead to such a frustrated response you should pause and re-think.  Directive or dictoral approaches may work, once, but the are definitely not sustainable.

Encourage and Support

When others believe you are not willing to let them think for themselves, they loose faith in you.  This is not to say feedback is not welcome, how it is presented really affects how well it is received.

The sweet spot is about adding value to what others do.  Most importantly the main judge of the value add should be on the receiving end.  You may think you have added value but it is only true if the other person believes it.

Telling people directly how to act or behave is rarely received by them as a value add.  Helping them see the way themselves is a much more powerful and effective approach.