I have found a key skill underlying my achievement of pleasure or happiness is an ability to have an effect on the character, development, or behavior of someone or something, i.e.,  influence the result.

This is a two-way street and being blind to the influence attempts of others can derail your own.   Incorporating other peoples needs into the desired outcomes has a much better effect.

Think Past the Objective

A great way to begin influencing is to think past the objective.  For example, if your objective is to schedule a training course, begin with a discussion of the benefits and advantages derived from booking the training.

The subtlety of the approach is to begin the conversation by focusing beyond the course as if the approving/accepting its occurrence is pre-ordained.

Follow this with a confirmation of the approval to proceed.  This may lead to some discussion about details but most often the question of whether to proceed or not will not arise directly.

For the Good of All

It is important not to focus your influence solely on personal goal but go for the win-win.  The objective is for everyone to benefit from the results.

Use influence to attain goals but be receptive to others needs and listen to their feedback.  Often slight modifications to your approach is all that is needed for everyone to be happy.

Influencing skills are a powerful tool for achoeving the common good and while a prime focus will be your needs don’t forget about those of others, you will achieve greater success that way.