Tag Archives: bully

Just Do It

I am often puzzled by the leadership approach which is largley founded on desire rather than analysis.  The ” have my cake AND eat it” approach.

This commanding approach to getting things done is not about feasibility but force of personality.  It is not too important how it gets done (blood in the streets) just that it gets done.

Sustainability

My wonder at this approach arises from the fact that experience and observation make it clear over the longer term the results become worse.

Pushing hard, being aggressive and expecting demands will be met can certainly work once or twice, then typically passive agressive or similar behaviour kicks in.

Those being subjected to bullying and brutallity appear meek and compliant, however this is only a perception they wish to create.  In reality they are focusing on sabatoge.

Plan for Success

Realistic plans achieved through consensus are far more likely to be achieved.  Buy-in by all stakeholders, that is everyone has a stake in the outcomes, obviously is more motivating than fear of bad concequences.

Fear leads to defensive behaviours, (e.g., passive aggressive) and over time the forceful approach becomes less effective.  This leads to more bluster or more commonly, desertion.

More Effort

While the common sense approach is collaborative it is harder to do and so often brute force becomes the default.  If others are not staying on your team or seem to frequently misunderstand your orders it might be time to reassess your approach.

Bully for you

When someone uses their strength or influence to force you to do what they want, you may have been bullied.  This is a broad definition and there are sub forms of bullying that display the same characteristics but are specific in context ( e,g sexual harrassement)

I often encounter people who have been bullied and don’t recognize it as such.  (I was either in the audience or told the story afterward).  Most associate  bullying with youth.  It is defined as something that happens in high schools or perhaps universities.

Bullying behaviour is not restricted by age or location.

The Reality

Behaving like a bully is second nature to some.  It is in fact, very human.  Simply put, it is the practice of achieving your goals forcefully without regard to the damage you may do to others.

In fact, doing damage is often part of the technique.  Fortunately our Canadian society believes bullying to be an unacceptable behaviour, and actively discourages bullies.

Don’t Take It

Bullies typically threaten or leverage their authority but have little intention to follow through and normally will back down  when confronted.

Unfortunately many don’t take a stand, they accept the course of least resistance and the bullying rarely stops.  In organizations this largely takes a pyschological form and can be more harmful over time than the physical.

Often the frustration and anxiety the person being bullied feels continues to grow inside until like the volcano there is a sudden release and it’s usually not pretty.

Next time someone works to make you feel bad for their gain, don’t take it.  Speak-up, resist and don’t hesitate to seek help, believe me most don’t appreciate bullying behaviour and will support you.

Election Day Quote

Today is the US presidential election.  It comes around every four years.  This years contest has drawn a lot of attention from around the world because of one candidate – Donald Trump.

Election Day Quote

I came across the following quote this morning that puts a bit of perspective on the days proceedings.

” What counts now is not just what we are against, but what we are for.  Who leads us is less important than what leads us —  what convictions, what courage, what faith —– win or lose.”  – Adlai Stevenson, US Statesman and former presidential candidate – 1952

Much of the discussion in this campaign has been around the candidates themselves.  The debates have focused on personal attacks against each other as has most of the advertising.

Sadly, as Stevenson notes, this is the least important factor.  Considering what we are for rather than against,  is a more powerful perspective with a higher probability of a successful result.

It’s a boy or it’s Girl

Unfortunately this most acrimonious of contests has been all about the negative.  That is the complete focus has been on attacking the other candidate.

For Donald Trump, of course, this is a standard tactic, he is a bully by nature afterall.  For Hilary, she decided not to take the high road and fight back.

The losers in all of this will be the American people, for many they have chosen to provide their support based on what they are against.  Ultimately it is highly likely the voters will regret this, whoever wins.