Tag Archives: behavior

Defining Yourself

Many psychology studies have demonstrated quite definitively that your past behavior is a strong indicator of your future behavior. This is not an absolute fact but does prove to be true in the majority of cases.

It is possible to change our base behaviors, that is those go-to actions that define our personality, but it does require a lot of effort to do so and you really need to be motivated.

Who Are You?

In essence, we are defined by what we did and where we have been.  What we are going to do will not actually define us until it is done.  Aspirational behavior is key to forging your future but until it is the past it does not define you.

Knowledge and experience are valid indicators of individual value, however, what we actually achieved is a much more definitive measure of our capabilities and the things we will be able to achieve going forward.

In essence, you are what you were, sad but true.

Laying the Foundation

Given others will judge you on your past accomplishments it is important to plan your activities and the way you behave so that you are consistent with how you want to be perceived.

Once the foundation is laid changing perception can be a long and slow process, if even possible.

Taking missteps as you find your way through your life journey is unavoidable but on the whole successful achievement of your goals requires behavior consistent with the way you want to be viewed.

Remember what you do now will strongly influence what you are able to do in the future (no takebacks).

Respectful Behavior

Broadly speaking, showing consideration and regard for someone or something constitutes respectful behavior.  Unfortunately, the interpretation of what constitutes consideration is subjective.

A lack of consideration and regard is not necessarily disrespectful, pro-actively behaving in a way that clearly demonstrates derision is.  As noted though, the interpretation of derision or disrespect can be subjective.

Respectful, why bother

In recent years many people have indicated they find the behavior of the current U.S. president (Donald Trump) less than respectful.  His supporters argue his directness (apparent disrespect to others) is one of the key reasons he achieves his goals.

Perhaps politicians have a higher bar for respectful behavior and Tumps behavior is more acceptable for a businessman than a politician (although subjectively I would question that as well).

If Trumps behavior is not at the level of respect expected for someone in his position (i.e., POTUS) but he is achieving his goals and applauded by his supporters, why should he bother being more respectful?

In fact, it appears he is rewarded for being abusive.

How to behave respectfully

Although respect has a subjective component, this is not a fair excuse for not acting in a respectful way.  We constantly receive feedback from others (both direct and indirect).

Respect simply requires us to be aware of this feedback and react accordingly.  Others constantly send messages about how they are feeling (happy/unhappy, comfortable/uncomfortable, confused/clear, etc).

Sensitivity to this feedback (regardless of our subjective interpretation of the context) and responding accordingly to create a positive context is all that is needed to be perceived as respectful.  It is that simple.