social networking | Kerrzone Musings

Typically the holiday season includes a lot of social interactions. For those that lean toward introversion as a underlying personality trait this can lead to a need for solitary time to recharge.

This is the case for me and although spending time with our children and grandchildren at various times and locations during the recent holiday celebrations was terrific, I do need time to recharge.

Even Immediate Family Interractions

My older brother called me on New Years Eve. I really enjoyed the chat but it came on the tail end of a very socially interactive couple of weeks and I was ready to hibernate.

Fortunately, New Years day and the following Monday (statutory holiday replacement) afforded me this opportunity and I returned to work fully recharged and ready to dive in.

Don’t be Miserly with your Recharge Time

While not everyone needs time alone to reflect,relax and re-energize, typically introverts do. This is a common trait for those of introverted personalities.

It is important not to be miserly with yourself when it comes to solitary reflective time. The results, when you do not allow yourself enough time to recharge, can be quite negative.

A key outcome of not spending enough time re-energizing is reduced ability to handle criticism, percieved slights or even just inability to participate in normal social interractions.

You can become sharp, grumpy or on occassion disassociated and non responsive. So when you need time to recover, take it. This time of year that very likely could be the case if you are not an extrovert by nature.

Don’t ignore your personal needs, to do so could be at the peril of your percieved friendly and outgoing nature.

In the last fifteen years or so we have seen a huge increase in the use of social networking. Top sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can generate millions of views of a particular post in a single day.

Unwritten Standards

From childhood we learn and adopt many conventions (standards) about how to interact with others, mainly guided by our parents or guardians.

Many of these standards are not enforced through formal discipline methods, first through warnings or guidance as you grow up and then when you are older more often through ostracism. If you don’t behave as expected like the rest of us you will be excluded.

A simple example would be the usual morning greeting ritual. Someone says “good morning” and you are expected to respond in kind ” good morning to you” or something like that. Silence or if you say something like “what’s good about it” will lead to you being ignored in the future. People will whisper “stay away from him/her in the morning they are not nice. You are ostracized.

I should point out a key attribute of these unwritten rules is common sense.

Social Networking

In the case of social networking learning the social norms does not begin at childhood nor is guided by your parents. The norms are set and passed through some virtual network by the participants themselves.

In the case of Facebook you must be at least over thirteen, so you already have a basic framework of standard norms covering social interaction and should be able to employ some level of common sense.

Older Generation Fumbles

Not having been brought up with Facebook, joining it post mid-life, I initially have found these unwritten standards frustrating. My first reaction has been rebellion and is of course is defensive – “If I had known, I would have followed that, you are being unreasonable.”

On second thought the logic (and common sense) of the standard practices seeps in, they are intuitive after all and I feel sheepish for my resistance.

Case in Point

Recently I posted some news about someone else on my own Facebook account (although I had a keen interest in the news) and was quickly advised by the subject that the standard practice was to allow the “owner” of the news to post first, then I could share it on my account so a broader audience (encompassing my friends) would find out).

Initially, I found this restrictive and impinging on what I perceive to be my right to do what I want. On second thought, back to my core value, it’s okay to seek my own pleasure as long as it is not at the expense of others. I wish I had thought it through fully.

The Morale to the story

If you are new to social networking be sensitive and respectively of the existing user community. Think it through before posting or sharing information, remember the same principles that apply in the face-to-face world do apply virtually as well.

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