In the last fifteen years or so we have seen a huge increase in the use of social networking.  Top sites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram can generate millions of views of a particular post in a single day.

Unwritten Standards

From childhood we learn and adopt many conventions (standards) about how to interact with others, mainly guided by our parents or guardians.

Many of these standards are not enforced through formal discipline methods, first through warnings or guidance as you grow up and then when you are older more often through  ostracism.   If you don’t behave as expected like the rest of us you will be excluded.

A simple example would be the usual morning greeting ritual.   Someone says “good morning” and you are expected to respond in kind ” good morning to you” or something like that.  Silence or if you say something like “what’s good about it” will lead to you being ignored in the future.  People will whisper “stay away from him/her in the morning they are not nice.  You are ostracized.

I should point out a key attribute of these unwritten rules is common sense.

Social Networking

In the case of social networking learning the social norms does not begin at childhood nor is guided by your parents.  The norms are set and passed through some virtual network by the participants themselves.

In the case of Facebook you must be at least over thirteen, so you already have a basic framework of standard norms covering social interaction and should be able to employ some level of common sense.

Older Generation Fumbles

Not having been brought up with Facebook, joining it post mid-life, I initially have found these unwritten standards frustrating.  My first reaction has been rebellion and is of course is defensive – “If I had known, I would have followed that, you are being unreasonable.”

On second thought the logic (and common sense) of the standard practices seeps in, they are intuitive after all and I feel sheepish for my resistance.

Case in Point

Recently I posted some news about someone else on my own Facebook account (although I had a keen interest in the news) and was quickly advised by the subject that the standard practice was to allow the “owner” of the news to post first, then I could share it on my account so a broader audience (encompassing my friends) would find out).

Initially, I found this restrictive and impinging on what I perceive to be my right to do what I want.   On second thought, back to my core value, it’s okay to seek my own pleasure as long as it is not at the expense of others.   I wish I had thought it through fully.

The Morale to the story

If you are new to social networking be sensitive and respectively of the existing user community.  Think it through before posting or sharing information, remember the same principles that apply in the face-to-face world do apply virtually as well.