Years ago I participated in an online personality assessment where I answered a number of questions about how I would behave in specific circumstances.

Ten others, who all knew me well, anonymously answered the same survey from their perspective of me.   All the answers were subjected to an algorithm that calculated my perceived personality traits or most likely behavior types.

Know Yourself

Obviously individual perceptions (both yours and others) won’t map exactly.  How we view ourselves can be markedly different from how others perceive us without issue as long as we are not surprised by how others see us.

Empathy with others is critical to personal self-awareness.  This allows us to behave in the best possible way when interacting with others.

Sometimes this means acting outside of our base character or personality but purposely so.  To do this effectively we need to have a robust and accurate understanding of what others think of us.

Avoid Surprises

For me, the test results showed both areas of overlap as well as differences.  The key value of the output though was not that differences or conformity existed (obviously yes) but rather, did it match my own understanding of what others thought of me.

Testing like the one I describe here can be a valuable tool in validating your perceptions however it is just one tool in your kitbag and not always readily available to you.

Most importantly is to be able to evaluate what others are thinking and behave in ways that do not result in surprises.  When you are surprised by someone else’s reactions likely you have misjudged them.

Pay attention, listen carefully, observe, this sensitivity will serve you well.