I attended a communications workshop today a came away with some new concepts.  These ideas around how to understand your own communication behaviours are worth sharing.

The communication spectrum

In a very simple model, your communication behaviours can be mapped to your level of confidence and comfortability.

On the left side of the spectrum you feel very vulnerable, typically your participation in meetings and conversations is limited.  On the far right of the spectrum you you are happy to speak out to the point of appearing aggressive and dominant.

Those on the far left focus on others while those on the far right focus on themselves.  Behaving in a balanced way focuses your communications on whats best for everyone.

Speak and Listen

Balanced communication require constant awareness.  You must be attentive to all things going on and behave accordingly.  This cannot be intermittant but rather perpetual.

When you are speaking on a subject, occassionally pause and think to yourself W.A.I.T .  This is the acronym for why am I talking.  It is a great self check to prevent you talking too much.

Self Aware

Be clear about how you feel, (i.e., assertive) but also empathetic of all others who are participating in the communication is critical to keeping your behavior balanced.

if you are talking for yourself it usually has little effect and  creates a barrier to your ability to gain the greatest benefit form shared discussion.

Treat your communication focus on we and us not I and you.  The results will really please you.