Earlier this week I posted about IQ and EQ.  Today I want to explore a specific model for EQ behaviors including some thoughts around actions you can take to improve your EQ.

The Model

Think of your emotional intelligence behaviors as falling into three groups:

• Constructive actions
  –  Achievement Focused
  –  Self-actualizing
  –  Humanistic/Encouraging
• Passive/Defensive Actions
  –   Avoidance
  –  Dependent
  –  Conventional
  –   Seeking approval
• Aggressive/Attack Actions
  –  Perfectionism
  –  Competative
  –  Power
  –  Oppositional

In this model it is recognized that on average we all exhibit these behavior types.  The question is how are they exercised (effectively/appropriately) and when (how often and mapped to situation)

Through studies, it have been shown, based on this model those with a high level of EQ overall are rated high for Constructive behaviors, Medium for Aggressive/Attack behavior and low for Passive/Defensive ones.

The ratings of high, medium and low are subjectively applied through anonymous survey questions by those that regularly interact with you.  These survey questions are structured so the high, medium, low scores include assessment of how effectively the behaviors are used.

How does this help?

If you can obtain an independent assessment of these behaviors (both from those who know you and yourself) it can help highlight the areas you wish to continue or change your behavior.

However, even without a formal assessment and anonymous feedback just self assessing yourself can be helpful.

Most of us can recognize when we are employing a specific group of behaviors. For example if we are acting competitively,  exercising our granted power just because can or being contrary (opposing) just because we want to we are in the aggressive space.

The aggressive practices have their place but ask yourself – am I pushing too hard, do I spend a lot of time, even most of my time acting this way?

If yes, maybe you want to try self-actualizing more often (a constructive behavior) that is all about internal analysis and understanding of your actions and how effective they are.  That is to say what are others seeing might not be getting the best results.

Practical Application

I have been fortunate to have participated in this type of assessment twice over the course of ten years.

On both occasions my own view of my behavior profile and that of peers, subordinates and managers mapped completely, and generally conformed to the model in terms of which behaviors should be high, medium and low.

This does not happen by accident.  Continually reviewing how I behave (both by thinking about it and questioning others) has been the cornerstone of my self awareness which results in behaving appropriately for the optimal effect.

The point is, if you know how you are trying to behave, you are more likely to both do it and sustain it ongoing.

You might not agree with this model and the way you mix, match and practice these behaviors is definitely individual.  The key though is being aware of how you are acting and checking that it is working as intended.